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jalexbrown

Worst Games #2

By: jalexbrown Oct 5, 2009 | 4 Comments

This game is so notoriously bad that you'll wish you could find it still!

So I did an article earlier last week about Worst Game #1: Final Fantasy X-2.  The article caught a slight amount of backfire from people wanting to know if Final Fantasy X-2 is really one of the worst games; of course the answer is a definite no.  So this time I'll address a game that really is the absolute worst game I've had the misfortune of touching in my entire life: Big Rigs Racing for the PC.

Some people - if you've been living under a rock - haven't heard of Big Rigs Racing.  First off, let me get this out of the way: it was a budget game.  We all know that there's a reason budget games are budget games (let's exclude the NFL 2K series; those were very good budget games).  But once you play Big Rigs, if you ever have the misfortune of playing Big Rigs, you'll understand exactly how good a budget title can be; at the very least, you'll appreciate the fact that even most budget games - hell, most Barbie or Mary Kate and Ashley games - are at least finished products; this is not the case with Big Rigs.

The immediate problem comes from the box itself, which takes pride in blatant misadvertising.  There are no police as the box claims; in fact, the whole word "Racing" should be excluded from the title entirely.  Why, you ask.  Well, there really is no racing in Big Rigs.  The game had no AI.  The "opponent" truck sits at the starting line and goes nowhere.  Does it matter?  Not really, because I can't even imagine how bad the AI would be if it were present.

At this point I should mention something else bothering about the game: there is absolutely, 100 percent no clipping in this game.  You can drive through everything; in fact, the clipping is so totally absent that the bridges in the level aren't even real.  You'll sink under them when you drive onto them.  I'm not sure if this was the developers idea of being trippy, or perhaps they were trying to make a deep yet misunderstood commentary about society - aka the cake isn't real - but the point, whatever it was intended to be, is missed by me.

At this point you might be inclined to believe that at the very least the driving mechanics have to be decent.  Well, if you can drive a semi up a mountain without losing momentum, then the mechanics are amazing.  If you can reverse a semi and accelerate infinitely, then the mechanics are amazing.  If you've ever driven right off the face of the Earth, the driving mechanics are amazing.  If all these things seem beyond idiotic, then you should pass on Big Rigs.

On last point I feel is worth mentioning: the game contains five levels, but it seems the developers only found four of them important enough to allow you to play, because there's one level in the game that will crash you back to your desktop without so much as an excuse.

There's a point to be made here.  Big Rigs is the definition of a game that isn't a game at all.  It's a loose assortment of non-working parts put together by kids who got tired of coloring with crayons during kindergarden.  And if any part of this ever seemed like a good idea for even a second, then those kidergardeners should really think about special placement.

[Editor's note: here's a video demonstration of this monstrosity:]

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