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Written by: choke (x)

The first in a series of 5 post it notes. Telling an epic story in the future

This is a look into a crystal ball to the year 2025.  The Video Game Hall of Fame opens it's doors in Des Moine, Iowa.  Tens of people flock to it to relive their 30s

iPhone game discussion

This a continuation of this story: Best game to play while taking a shit Jimmy Gems nominees

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Preview

choke

Tatsunoku vs Capcom Trailer

By: choke Sep 24, 2009 | 7 Comments

Review of the new trailer for the Wii version of Tatsunoku vs Capcom

So a new trailer just dropped for the Wii version of Tatsunoku vs Capcom.  Excitement abound. 

First off let me comment on all the "awards" they show it won.  OMG IT WON BEST FIGHTING GAME AT E3?????  What exactly was it's competition?  No one makes fighting games anymore.  Did it beat some new Tekken or some shit? 

I still have no idea what Tatsunoku is.  I'm gonna guess it's some animation company because I see some Battle of the Planets fuckers, giant robots, people with swords, and lots of characters with those creepy big eyes that dont resemble any actual race that Japanese animators love.   Oh and there's a guy who throws a shopping cart and I could see there being an anime series just about shopping carts because anime is stupid and they make series about stupid shit like that.  Or is that the guy from Dead Rising.  I wouldnt know because I hate video games.

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choke

Post-It Note Art Weekly #1

By: choke Nov 3, 2010 | 6 Comments

A new weekly installment. You demanded it, you got it. Post it note art on a weekly basis

So my previous post it note art installments apparently are very popular here on this site.  They've resulted in numerous job offers and a few marriage proposals (NO MEANS NO JIMMY)


Anyhow, under threat of death I reluctantly present the post it note art of the week.

Only problem?  I hate videogames and have no idea what to draw that doesn't involve a toilet and something halo related being shat or pissed on.


Post what you want me to draw below and if it's interesting enough maybe I'll give it a go.  Then if you send me 59 cents via paypal I will send you the original.

 

EDIT, I thought of something

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choke

My favorite SSFIV matches from EVO

By: choke Jul 14, 2010 | 2 Comments

My favorite matches from the Super Street Figther IV Finals from EVO 2010.

Alright so here are my top 5 matches from the EVO 2010 Super Street Fighter IV tournament finals (Top 8)

A lot of this is from memory, so God only knows how accurate any of it is because I dont feel like rewatching them all.

5) Infiltration vs Ricky Ortiz (Losers Bracket Final)

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Top 5 Anticipated 3DS games - contest entry

I havent owned a handheld gaming system since the Game Boy. That being said, here's my entry

1) High School Musical 3DS - With an option to eliminate Zac Efron and all the other male characters in the show from the game. Stop Vanessa Hudgen's nude pics from leaking! Help Ashley Tisdale get fitted into her cheerleading uniform! (Hellcats crossover FTW). Explore lesbian themes! Do homework. Sing songs. Mature audiences only.

PS.  For jimmy there will be an option to eliminate the female characters.


2) 5 Hour Energy 3DS - Oh no! You only have 2 hours to get ready for work AND read the newspaper. Find the 5 Hour Energy hidden in your cupboard in order to relax. Find the 4 Loko instead and play a bonus game of "Where did I hide the murdered hooker?" Rating: Everyone

3) Guy with a gun on a decimated planet attacked by Hostiles 3DS part 8 - just to get this over with because you know it's coming by the 5th month of the 3DS being out. Rating: People who don't get tired of the same thing

4) Ke$ha presents - I am the Dance Commander and I Command You to Dance 3DS - self explanatory. The future of music presents the future of gaming. Unicorns, lasers, Jack Daniels, HOT FUCKING TUNES. Must buy

5) Final Fantasy Presents the Sleep Chronicles Online 3DS - For those nights you have insomnia

 

CROWN ME

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choke

Gambling on SSFIV, bring it on! (ADDED VIDEO)

By: choke Apr 28, 2010 | 9 Comments

Online gambling site offering odds on Super Street Fighter IV

1up.com reported yesterday about an online betting site based out of the UK offering betting on a championship fight for Super Street Fighter IV.  While this almost sounds like a dream come true to a degenerate gambler such as myself, it's not because it's dumb.

First of all, I wouldnt trust sending my money overseas to Paddy Power.  Having a glimpse at their site it looks like they're main focus is to take bets on absolutely ridiculous shit like "who will Cheryl Cole date first?"  They have an entire page devoted to Cheryl Cole bets!  I'm all for Cheryl Cole and I'm all for stupid prop bets like this, but I'm telling you they only do this shit because they're probably an awful sportsbook and offering dumbass lines gets them publicity like this SSF4 bet.  Plus why am I going to throw down $100 on Ryan Hart to win when most Street Fighter players are shady individuals who would steal from their mothers and he could just go put down 3 grand on the other asshole to win at 2/1 odds and lose on purpose.

Plus gambling and Street Fighter have been around for ages with money matches and with me and Dave betting $1 that we can beat Jimmy in straight rounds or without having half of our energy taken from us, and that's really all we need. 


GAMBLING TIP:  IF GOUKIJONES IS PLAYING, ALWAYS BET AGAINST HIM.

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choke

MY HALO CONTEST ENTRY (FOR REAL THIS TIME #1)

By: choke Aug 4, 2010 | 12 Comments

A WINNAR IS ME

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choke

Mortal Kombat Rebirth Trailer

By: choke Jun 9, 2010 | 5 Comments

New Mortal Kombat movie trailer

I think we can all agree that the original Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation were both robbed of Best Picture Oscars the years they were released, respectively.  Well it looks like someone (I can't find out exactly who other than fight choreographer I've never heard of is responsible for the fights) is looking to get revenge on the Academy by moving forward with a new movie. 

This looks very slick, and they've come up with some (however asinine) storylines to explain the fighters like Reptile and Baraka which I personally am fine with because the guys who originally wrote the plots and devised the characters for the Mortal Kombat video games were in all likelihood retarded/very unintelligent and would have probably written Reptile's story such that a young boy in the 1950s got lost in a swamp and was raised by crocodiles and then mated with one which birthed the murderous killer Ninja who finishes his victims off by ripping off his mask from 30 feet away to display his long tongue range (Sonya Blade was impressed)
 

Not sure how I feel about Johnny Cage being offed already as I really wanted to see him uppercut three heads off someone in this. 

THE BIG QUESTION?  PG-13 OR R.  amiright?

Anyway it's nice to see Spawn again and any of the other has-beens that will be in this.  Ralph Macchio for Cyrax! 

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choke

Choke's Choice for HIS Street Fighter x Tekken Team

By: choke Feb 14, 2012 | 5 Comments

My Team

So I already knew who one of my two characters was months ago.   The moment I heard they were in the game, I knew.

Poison.   Duh.   SAY NO TO PROP 8!   Plus Jimmy will be ultra distracted during gameplay.

The 2nd member was a process.   

1.  Eliminate all Tekken characters because Tekken is awful.

2.  Eliminate all ShotokoKONNONWNONK characters because .....  well, there's no explanation needed really.

3.  Eliminate Rufus because Rufus along with Hakan are the worst designed Street Fighter characters in history.   I'd rather play Gil

 

This leaves

Abel (potential)

Balrog (Not a fan of his moves typically)

Cammy (I like the Poison/Cammy combo with the whole Interpol teams up with NYC Tranny Police Department, but in the end, just not really a fan of playing Cammy in previous games)

Chun-Li (never been a fan of her moveset)

Cody (I can't have a former lover of Poison's on her team.  I need new love)

Dhalsim (if you've ever seen me play Dhalsim, this is self explanatory)

Guile (Hm, maybe, though I tend to like to play characters that are a little against the grain. )

Guy (I'm assuming Cody shared with Guy.   Too much history.  Though teaming someone named GUY with Poison is kinda hilarious)

Hugo (360 Characters are a no go for me.   if a move requires more than 180 degrees, I'm fucked.  I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT)

Ibuki (too combo dependent.  I can't do any combo that is longer than 2 hits)

Juri (too many moves.  I need characters who have 3-4 moves max.  Not ones where you hold a button then jump around and do other things then let go of a button.   WUT)

Bison (there's something appealing about this teamup.   Potential)

Rolento (like the sound of this)

Vega (nah, havent enjoyed playing him since SFII Championship.  Dont expect that to change now)

Zangief (see Hugo)

 

So final 4 are Abel, Guile, Bison, and Rolento.

I'll probably end up trying all of these as a combo.   Abel since I have some more recent familiarity with using his character (poorly, to boot).

BUT ULTIMATELY, THE TEAM I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY, AND WILL TRY TO "MASTER" FIRST.

POISON AND ROLENTO.

The kinkiness that will ensue......

News

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New HALO toys by Ashley Wood/3A going on sale next week

By: choke Jul 25, 2012 | 6 Comments | Updated: Jul 31, 2012

The amazing 3A toys are releasing 2 Halo toys next Wednesday (actually Tuesday evening in the US)

Ashley Wood and his company 3A toys continue their toy domination with 2 new toys based on the Halo franchise.

First up is the HALO Spartan MKV Commando, which is a www.bambalandstore.com exclusive

Next is the HALO Commander Carter Spartan III, which will be available at www.bambalandstore.com and then later at select toy retailers

Both figures stand 13.5" tall and feature:  * Fiber-optic illuminated helmet and armor * Magnetized shoulder shields and rear pouch that all weapons can be attached to * Rubberized suit over a fully articulated body with complete outer armor attachments * Fully articulated fingers * Weapons: M392DMR (designated marksman rifle), M9 HE-DP APG Frag Grenade (x2), Combat Knife with sheath

They will be $200 each USD, and go on sale Wednesday in Hong Kong time which usually translates to Tuesday evening for those of us in the US.

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choke

The Greatest Collection of Video Games ever.

By: choke Jul 31, 2012 | 5 Comments

Biggest collection of videogames ever sold on ebay for over a million dollars

Holy.....

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=300736846867&item=300736846867

EDIT:  Didn't realize this was from a while back.   It may be posted already?

Article about sale:  http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-enormous-video-game-ebay-20120709,0,6539757.story

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