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It's true. The first time saw/heard of Mark of the Ninja was at PAX 2012. GoukiJones sat down immediately to play. A Ninja in a MetroidVania world with an absolute brilliant art direction. How can you go wrong. GoukiJones had to try this out.

Thank god we spend a ton of money every year to go to PAX. I'm not sure if I would have caught this game during it's actual release. Which is a Friday/today. Why? I don't know. It's a Microsoft published game that comes out on a Friday. I was blaming in on Europe.

Anyway I've had it for a few days now and I've played thru the first 4 levels twice. The first time I was just blazin'. Killing whatever, setting off alarms. Rushing thru levels.

The art style is the same as Shank. These are the same developers of Shank. Klei Entertainment. If you're interested, BatRastered wrote about Shank last year. 

What makes the gameplay so unique about MotN is the sound wave mechanic. You can see exactly how much sound that light is going to make if you break it. Or how loud your footsteps are when you run. Everything makes a sound. There's also a great use of vision and line of sight. Anything out of your characters view is slightly blurred, until he's close or uses his "ninja senses" to sense what is happening on the other side of doors. There's also dogs that can smell you. Amazing.

My second playthru I could only play the first 4 levels. This was at 9PM[before the game was officially released] last night on the west coast. I didn't want the Microsoft police or Twitch patrol on my case. I got a pro-tip to just play the first 4 levels and I should be okay. Sure enough. You can watch all or parts of this video below, from the live stream last night. Warning: It has my grill in it!

Watch live video from Show on TwitchTV

Mark of the Ninja is a great game and I'm looking forward to playing more of it right now. MotN is now available on Xbox Live for 1200 points. I think that's a good price. You can get at least 2 playthrus, 1 killing everything and 1 letting everyone live and not setting off any alarms. Deus Ex style. I'll definitely try to get both.

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Got my hands the new DLC for Dishonored last week. I beat it. I found some weird glitches happening. You can check out my thots here & take a look at this weird screen glitching. Prolly just the XBOX being from the nubfarm.

It’s no secret at this point. This Jimmy right here -this Jimmy trying to write out this story- is a BIG FAN of Dishonored. I got the Witches of Brigmore last week from Bethesda, shout out Bethesda. They love the FnJimmy Golden Video Review, they tell me. Sure. I had know idea what this DLC was about, I don’t have any of the other DLC & I can’t tell you too many DLC’s that I’ve liked in the past.

Swerve! This 1 is tight. You play a completely different character, one you -as the main character- actually killed in the Main Story. He was a boss. Daud. So you start out as Daud & you have to fight off the attack from the Main Story. Really sweet stuff. I think it’s a great idea & this DLC was off to a good start.

Daud has a bunch of different moves. He can summon assassin’s to fight alongside of him. (That was the first 1 I upgraded fully.) You can also improve his running, jumping, stealth just like the main character, Corvo. Daud seemed to move WAY faster than Corvo when I maxed him out. He was at least twice as fast as any guard running after him & I had him crouched! But he is the assassin class in the game. The DLC definitely gives you a nice feeling of something different & new with the differences in this playable character.

I got 2 days of gameplay out of this. Prolly a total of 8 hours. That was only playing thru once & not on the maximum difficult. So there is definitely some replay value. And I am almost fairly certain that there are multiple endings.

There are tons of new enemies as well & the DLC takes you to a new Location. BUUUUUUUUUUT the graphics aren’t that great already in Dishonored, but these weird glitches don’t help. Sometimes I would stop to look around the room cuz I thot hidden shit was flashing at me. Check out this clip.

Regardless that little glitching -like I said, it’s prolly just the Xbox- this DLC is worth it & it’s fun! Dishonored is fun! Check out my full review with Bullet Points.

Buy it!

Thanks for reading. 

In Theaters November 21.

A few weeks back I got an email asking if I wanted to check out Micahel Ironside's new movie, Extraterrestrial.  The email emphasized he was from the Splinter Cell series.  So I guess that's how I got on this mailing list.  Super weird right?  So I replied to the email ... I'll check it out!

It's one of those movies about some kids that go up to the woods for the weekend to drink, smoke, & have sex.  Then something is going to come out of the darkness & kill them all off.  From the title of this movie, did you guess it was ALIENS?  No, not James Cameron style, nothing that original here.  Just your classic freaky grey tall strong self healing alien with big black eyes. 

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The Witcher 2 The Guy Has 2 Swords Review

By: goukijones Apr 25, 2012 | 3 Comments

GoukiJones shares his thoughts on the in-depth combat, terrible sound effects and his overall experience with The Witcher 2 for Xbox 360.

The best thing the Witcher 2 has going for it is the combat. Combat is the reason I play most game and my highest factor when rating. Every other aspect of the game could be a fail, but if I have fun whippin' that ass, then I won't ever be fully disappointed.

The left trigger locks on to baddies and you can switch who is selected by flicking one of the sticks. The Y button does magic. X & A do a heavy and light attack. I find myself almost always just smashing the light attack. You can stun enemies with your magic spells and then get a 1 hit kill animation. You can also raise the percentage of that move happening through out your progress in the game.

The RB throws daggers, which are super expensive early in the game. The LB brings up your Witcher wheel where you can select from different magics that you can upgrade. The B button rolls and you can upgrade this as well. At first the Witcher barely rolls at all, but you can upgrade to 200% roll length after awhile and then rolling becomes faster than running. Vintage!

Mix all that stuff in along with The Witcher 2 throwing a ton of bad guys at you in a lot of small spaces, you got some challenging fight ahead of you. The combat and setting up your guy for fights has really been the only thing keeping me interested. You can drink potions before each fight that will raise your vitality or make you more resistant to poison. After a while I realized I was usually just drinking the same 3 potions. I'm sure there's a ton more options later on in the game.

The story so far is -and this might shock you- is completely uninteresting. The game starts off with one of the best CG's I've ever seen. Then you have to play through 5 different parts for the "introduction" which is down with a flashback type feel. The Witcher is telling the story. You can pick in which order you do the 5 sequences. Irrelevant and a waste of time. I hated doing that. Then it does the new favorite thing for story tellers ... 4 months ago. So all the shit I just played through hasn't even happened yet. Or did it? I'm confused. I was skipping through the story as fast as possible.

Like in Mass Effect you have the option to be nice or mean to people. There's not meter for that or anything and now that I think about I don't know if it's had any real impact on my gameplay. I skip the conversations so fast I don't see the last thing they ask me before I have 7 different options to reply. Pick 1 at random and guess what, didn't seem to matter.

The graphics are ok. Nothing to spectacular. I'm sure it looked a little prettier on the PC. There doesn't seem to by that many different bad guys. You fight a lot of these little goblin things in the first chapter and then just fight bigger versions of them in the second chapter. There are some really really ugly faces matted to grills in the Witcher. Heads up. lol.

The sound effects are the worst I've ever heard in a video game. In chapter 1 while running through the town you can hear dogs barking, but never see 1 dog. Outside the town while near water you can hear ducks quacking, but never see 1 duck. Some of the music in the background is cool and a little catchy, but it's short and very repetitive. Voice acting isn't too great either and every once a while there is a voice over telling the story and that guy sounds like some nerd who hasn't gone through puberty yet. Never has sound effects ever stood out for me this bad.

I'm playing The Witcher 2 on hard LIVE on the stream. I'm only on chapter 2 now, but I spent about a week on chapter 1 working on this review. That's why it gets a Rent it! You're gotta WANT to play this game to play it. You don't NEED to play it. Don't be a Jimmy! Thanks for reading, please Vote, Comment and Share.



Final Fantasy XIV and my serious problem

By: goukijones Aug 18, 2010 | 4 Comments

My brain continues to argue with itself over the Final Fantasy XIV. I have so many issues here Jimmy.

First of all it's on the PC straight away for $74.99 and yes I have to get the collector's edition. If I do not get the collector's edition and really love the game and play it for years. I'll be real upset with myself. Plus I need that Onion Helm and whatever other goodies it comes with.

The Benchmark test: I recently ran the benchmark test, but before I can tell you my results let me share a few tidbits with you. I had to re-install an older version of DirectX to just run the benchmark. Wtf? Then it ran smoothly, but my score well was below the minimum. Maybe because my computer was running an older version of DirectX? My computer is brand new, I have a video card that I bought this year for like $200. It should work right?

What if it doesn't? My computer is how I work[attempt to make a living], I can't work[attempt to make a living] all morning and then have an all night pwnfest on the FF14 and run my computer for 20 hours a day. That shit will fry. Then I'll be addicted for sure by that point, with no FF14 and now no computer to work[attempt to make a living]. So that's that problem. Solution ... be prepared to upgrade.

Waiting for the PS3: Wait until March? Are you crazy? Don't forget about the Onion Helm. Oh and there's the 6 month headstart the rest of the Jimmys will get on you. This time around, I want to start at the very beggining with everyone else.

Backwards compatible PS3: I have one of those rare PS3's that is backwards compatible and is worth thousands according to Ebay. I don't really want to break that either. The current plan is to buy it for the PC and try to control myself. Then when March rolls around, buy another, yes a second PS3 just to play FF14.


I was super addicted to Final Fantasy XI and I know I will get hooked on this one fo sho. The game looks amazing, there are no words for the beauty of it. The Making of a realm vidoc series is absolutely mindboggling. When I think about the jobs and the world and the monsters. It's without a doubt I'm going to get lost with this game.

Estrada says he is getting this game. Gorilla Warbear is still playing FF11 because he was hoping for a Beta key for FF14 or to get something when FF14 comes out. Well he's gonna get something, but I don't care too much for it. Hermes’ Shoes. “Named after an elder god, all but forgotten in the modern age, these gold-tipped shoes have been crafted with the lightest of leathers, making them optimal for use by heralds and noterunners.”


We've already touched on setting up our squad and putting ourselves in different roles for crafting and fighting. This is not good, I'm already drawing charts in bed at night before I go to sleep. I can't stop thinking about which way I want my character to go.

I can't even decide if I want to be a little Jimmy(Lalafell) or an Elf Jimmy(Elezen.) I was a little Jimmy in FF11. I don't want to be a human or the big Gorilla Warbear looking thing. The elves look cool, but I don't know what job I would focus on. At least the little Jimmys look cool doing anything in the game, so I'll probably pick one of them. So then it's decided. I'll a "Lalafell" in FF14.

As far as Jobs go forget about it. I have no idea. I might just level up all different kinds at the beggining. It depends on how many friends I have and if we are actually leveling up together to go do missions and stuff. I like healing, because I don't trust anybody else doing it. I will most definitely choose a trade that will make a lot of money, like medicines or food. Consumable items are the way to go.


It's official, I'm going to pre-order the Final Fantasy XIV. I'm going to promise myself to not let it get out of hand. I can not break my PC, must survive on it until March. Lalafell healer/thief and cooking/medicine master! Look for me when the game comes out. Want to get on the same planet with me? Leave a comment and lets start the Gouki Guild! Don't be a Jimmy!



GoukiJones' E3 2011 Schedule and Want List

By: goukijones May 30, 2011 | 9 Comments

Here's how it's all going down. I've never had an appointment at E3, now I have a full 3 day schedule. Also my own want list of games I want to see there. And a look at some of our new equipment we have to bring you guys the best coverage ever.

E3 2011 Want List

These are games I really want to see/play that I probably won't get the chance to. They are in no particular order.

Uncharted 3 - Campaign and Multiplayer

Hawken - I want to get my hands on this game bad, but I spoke to Adhesive Games and they are not going to be at the show.

Dragon's Dogma - Badass Nice looking game. I want to PWN!

SmackDown Vs Raw 2012 - I will probably hunt down this game.

Darksiders 2 - I'm going to try and find this game as well. Look out THQ I'm comin' for ya! 

Aliens: Colonial Marines - This is a game developed by Gearbox Software and published by Sega, I want to check this out for sure.

Bioshock Infinite - Duh! 2K is being Jimmys about me getting in that booth though. Nubfarm.

Mass Effect 3 - Just wanna have a look and see what this game is going to be about. I'm currently playing through Mass Effect 1 right now and it is officially one of my favorite games of all time.

Battlefield 3 - I'd love to go a round in the multiplayer.

Gears of War 3 - How man giant worms can we fit into one campaign and or trilogy? I want to find out.

Halo 4 - lol. Even if it's the Halo 1 remake. Can't wait to see where Microsoft goes with this game.

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New weapon skins, like a shark on the tip of your AR have got to totally excite you. If not how about the return of a classic Halo 3 map. Well classic is like your opinion or something. New armor mods are cool, 1 of the vehicle based ... allegedly.

So I don't really care for Pitfall, I don't like small maps. I like to drive. What I'd really like to do is play the Crimson map pack again. I haven't been on Halo 4 in a couple of months as of right now, but last time I checked, those maps were gone. The new map Vertigo has a stupid name. Also no vehicles so ... not too thrilled. 

I like the idea of having a mod that will eject me of a vehicle if it finna 'slode, but I can't find any info about that just yet. Nubfarm Zero telling me this shit. Which slot does it fill? Which way do I fly out? Will I still have my shield up?

I don't care about skins. The new game type looks dumb. Not enough here for me to get back on the Halo band wagon. Don't be a Jimmy! Thanks for reading. 



Does anyone else want an ActRaiser remake?

By: goukijones Nov 20, 2010 | 5 Comments

For those of you who don't know ActRasier is a cross between Zelda II and Sim City. I was totally in love this game. ActRasier is a great example of a game that should have an Epic remake. Let's go Sqaure Enix.

This game always pops in and out of my head so I thought I'd write this story about it. ActRaiser is an old school game on the Super NES. It was developed by Quintet and published by Enix, now Square Enix. The gameplay is city management with a little bit of monster house cleaning mixed in. There's side scrolling dungeon crawling action with really cool boss fights, that is kind of like Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Then you have the Sim City aspect of the game where you develop towns and villages. You must appease your followers and they will shower you with gifts or shun you for being a nuab.

The games graphics and design were ahead of it's time I believe as I watch videos of this game now. The idea to mix these two genres together is gold itself. All of the monsters in the combat levels are different and distinct. The levels themselves offer a ton of variety from, deep dark dungeons to open sand dunes and flying through the clouds. The bosses are also really cool. I could totally see this game transitioning into a modern remake easily.

The music in the game is also another stand out. Acclaimed video game music director Yuzo Koshiro, famous for music from Streets of Rage, Ys series, old school Shinobi and other classics did the soundtrack. I could just rock out to the soundtrack. Actually I did, while uploading some videos today to youtube, I watched the entire speed run series from youtube user bigboss643. It's not him in the video playing, but he gives credit to the Jimmy who is. Check out these videos below and let me know what you think. I would totally play a God of War esque remake with some Sim City 4 city management action built it. 

ActRaiser Speed Run Part 1

ActRaiser Speed Run Part 5

youtube user description: This is a speed run for ActRaiser on the Super Nintendo. I did not do this speed run. I got it from I got it for all those ActRaiser fans out there, and non-fans alike. So please don't accuse me of copyright infringement, or plagiarism. Enjoy. - Check out the entire speed run on his channel.

Let me know what you think. Could this classic be remade into a modern day treasure?

Today I played a lot of Halo Wars & a lot of Battlefield. Oh I got Rage in the mail? I haven't even ...

The time 2:45PM Wednesday October Fif. Playing Halo Wars again like it's a brand new game.

3:07PM Just got railed by some nuabs in Halo Wars. The yellow guy had 0 army and that doesn't help when I'm 30 of 30 twice to fight off these Jimmys and you got nothing you come to do nothing. No heal, no disrupter. WTF Jimmy?

The Battlefield is amazing and the more stuff you unlock the cooler it gets. I've played a ton of hours of already this week. I can't wait for the release. 25 hours according to the Raptr. Ridiculous and it's only the same map. Granted it's huge. The rumor is there is going to be another map released with the ground vehicles during the demo. I'll believe it when I see it. The game barely works now. I know it's a download and a lot of this stuff is going to be fixed on the final version, but how did we get this far into the beta and I'm still falling through the map near A on the first stage. Jimmy? The party system is ridiculous still. When I start a game with 4 friends and we are in the same party and everything, why can you put us in the same squad? C'mon EA, you got the ads right. Battlefield 3 is release in the US on October 25 & the UK on October 28. I think, I've been ignoring that ad. I do know, I will be PWNn all day when it arrives from Amazon with release day shipping for only $0.99! Stolen!

3:35PM I just railed another rack of nuabs. I'm moving into an whole-notha-level of Halo Wars. Stretch time.

3:58PM Just had a proper railing with a recruit on my team. Nuuuuubfarm. So Rage is sitting here, I haven't put it in once. BatRastered has played, I seen it. I can't believe we bought 3 Bethesda games again and it's another bomb. The game looks amazing, yes, yes. But from what I've heard from BatRastered and just from what I've over heard in the room. I'd rather play X-Men Destiny apparently.

4:50PM The partied me with another recruit! Nuab!

5:13PM Raining pretty good right now. Still chillin' playin Halo Wars. Gonna play some Rage Multiplayer tonight. Should be good.

5:34PM Who is playing the Star Wars The Old Republic? I've had mine pre-order since BEFORE the release date was officially announced. They promised early access. I know Jimmys is playing it right now. Why not me? Their afraid I'm not going to like it? Probably not. But still, I'd like to see WTF we have all been waiting for for 5-10 years or whatever since the last KOTOR. Which I didn't play part 2 because it was made by those nubs over at Obsidian.

Then 2 days ago I get an email from SWTOR website asking me, who am I enjoying the beta? WTf? Did I miss something, Amazon didn't send me the right info, I don't know, but I want it. 1 day later, SWTOR website emails me and it was "Their bad." So no, I'm still not in the beta. Nnnnnnnnuab! Wings & Fries tonight with a little Jack on the side. Gonna be looking for some Battlefield and Gears 3 MP matches tonight!

5:53PM This just in. Breaking NEWS - Steve Jobs deada denna muthafucka. Sell your iPhones while you can. I'll buy an iPad or two 1 day Steve Jobs. Seeyalater.

Hardcore Halo Wars. Damn.

8:27PM Back on that all units. Waiting to play some Battlefield.

9:20PM Finally back on the Battlefield 3. It is such a pain in the ass to get into the matchmaking.

10:29PM Full-on Battlefield 3 Beta PWNn.

11:55PM The PWNfest has ended. After a grueling dashboard, load, dashboard, load, dashboard and load the Battlefield 3 beta again, we finally got in. What a blast this game is and I don't mean that just because you can blast holes into walls. I'm leveling up the Sniper and the medic kits. I usually don't snipe, but I love the sniping in this game. All of the shooting to be honest, I can just hit shit and maybe that's why I like it so much. Healing people is super fun too. It's also very helpful to your team when you're constantly raising their health and reviving them if they die. Plus you get a ton of points. I can go 8 and 5 and still get 3k and score in the top 3. Don't be a Jimmy!

Can 2018 produce better video games than 2017?!

#1 Red Dead Redemption 2
This game is a former Jimmy Gem Game of the Year.  Just recently, well 2 years ago now I guess… I played Red Dead Redemption again and it still holds up and is still one of my all-time favorites.  Rockstar only releases new games every 5 years, so get hype!  RDR2 is going to be the game of the year. (No specific release date as of this post)

#2 The Last of US Part 2
When the first game came out I did not expect that I would like it as much as I did. In fact, I played through it twice.  It's one of those rare games that I played back to back immediately and I can not wait to play the new sequel.  Another strong potential for game of the year. (No specific release date as of this post)

#3 Anthem
Oh boy. EA.  The game is being made by BioWare and published by EA.  I love all the Mass Effect, Star Wars Kotor, and Dragon Age games, so I am hype for a what seems to be a full-on-multiplayer-space-scramble-mass-effect-shooter-magic-lootfest-madness.  So IF that works and it’s not full of buy a loot chest with real money bullshit, it might be a great game.  I think we can live without the loot crate system in video games.  Good luck to BioWare.  The entire internet is on standby, watching EA desecrate and ruin the history of great game franchises and developers.  Anthem will be very interesting to watch and play in 2018. (No specific release date as of this post)

#4 Crackdown 3
I can’t wait for this game.  The previous Crackdown games have great memories for me.  I would have never played Crackdown in the first place if the Halo 3 Beta wasn’t on the disc.  But I found that the climbing, shooting, leveling up, and the party system made Crackdown super fun to play.  When I wasn’t playing Halo 3.  Crackdown 3 will be an easy purchase for a bunch of friends and the game will be superfun to play together. Invite me. (No specific release date as of this post)

There were a few other games I noted, but overall these 4 games are the only options I believe, that can pull me away from the good games I am already playing.  When I started writing this list, I was for sure 2018 could be better than 2017. I’m now thinking that maybe it’s going to be a really rough year.  What’s up with that new Metroid?  Where is the Battle Royal Halo 6 game?  WTF is happening to the XBOX console?  Seriously tho...

What video games are you most looking forward to in 2018?

Thank you for reading.

Spider-Man Edge of Time is set to come out this year. Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions isn't even a year old yet. Hope you enjoyed Spider-Man SD, because this new game is looking like the exact same thing.

Shocking video today from YouTube shows another Spider-Man game already long in development. Completely playable levels, story in place, and full-on graphics. When I first saw this video, I thought I was watching some new DLC for Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. Nope, it's a brand new game from developer Beenox and is being published by Activision.

Spider-Man Edge of Time uses the same Spider-Man's from Shattered Dimensions. Now the only difference is you only go back and forth between 2 Spider-Mans. The classic red and blue Spider-Man, that everyone loves and the Spider-Man 2099, that everybody hates. There's your balance there. 

Can't wait to hear FnJimmy's take on this new Spider-Man game at E3 this year. FnJimmy followed Spider-Man SD all the way through development, if you missed any of those great stories check them out on the Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions Catalog Page.


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What's up with Dead Island?

By: goukijones Aug 10, 2011 | 4 Comments

Dead Island is set for release in less than a month. I'm all for Co-op games and killing zombies, but I don't know about this game.

Dead Island is on the "Whoa I don't know" list mostly because of that kick. You know that famous kick from the last demo where the chicks leg just seems to come straight out. That and it also seemed be very disproportioned. (WTF is the right word there?)

What's the deal Jimmys? I know some users are hype for this game. Write me some Dead Island Hype stories. What you like about it, what's interesting to you and what is the most exciting feature you're looking forward to?
Don't be a Jimmy!

Dead Island Fight Together Trailer

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