In Fable III it doesn't matter what clothes you have on. So you can walk around naked if you want and make pies.
The princess in Fable III has huge breasts and it is an absolute pleasure to watch her do just about everything. Including pie making. This video is for Jimmy. Enjoy.
By: BatRastered Aug 15, 2013 | 2 Comments
Borderlands 2 improved on the original in many areas: story, graphics, depth of skill trees to name a few. But overall it doesn't have that super fun looting hook that the original had. Here's 10 things we hate about the sequel.
Borderlands 2 improved on the original in many areas: story, graphics, depth of skill trees to name a few. But overall it doesn't have that super fun looting hook that the original had. Here's 10 things we hate about the sequel.
10. Follow Randy Pitchford on Twitter if you want gold keys, no way to earn them in-game.
There's a big gold treasure chest in Sanctuary (the main city) that can only be opened with a golden key. It's guaranteed to have purple rarity items in it every time you open it. Quest reward? Nah... just follow Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford's twitter and you'll have more keys than you know what to do with. There's no other way to get them. Kinda lame.
9. DLC that doesn't give you any rewards for your maxed out characters.
In the original Borderlands, the DLC would give you bonus backpack space, additional skill points, and a giant bank. BL2's DLC doesn't give you any of this. Once you hit the max level and have used all your eridum upgrades for ammo/backpack space, there's nothing for your character to get in the DLC save for some unique weapons. Most of those suck too (see point 3).
8. Umpteen currencies
Borderlands 1 had money... the economy was way off though as you'd often be displayed at $9999999 and not be able to see how much money you actually had. Many guns showed this price too. Instead of just fixing this in the sequel Gearbox added Eridium as a secondary currency to buy ammo and backpack upgrades. Then, in the DLC, they introduced Seraph Crystals and Torgue Tokens. This plus the golden keys, gave us 5 numbers to track that only worked in certain areas.
7. Anemic backpack space
Before DLC, the original BL maxed out at 42 backpack slots. BL2 maxed out at 27. Wait, what? The bank introduced in Borderlands' second DLC (Moxxi) also stored up to 42 items while the BL2 bank (included in the main game) only stored 16, it has since been upped to 20, while the backpack has gone to 33. Meanwhile, in the original, you could get up to a 60 item backpack if you got all the DLC and lucked out in some of the second quests.
6. Ammo collection mini-game
Do you like opening ammo crates and picking up ammo? Well if you do, you'll love BL2. Due to many guns firing more than one bullet per trigger pull, lowered ammo capacities, and the lack of guns/mods that regen ammo, you'll be scrounging for ammo constantly. God help you if you use a rocket launcher. In a game about guns, I don't know why Gearbox felt it necessary to make the ammo feel so limited.
Borderlands 2 introduced Slag, a debuff element that makes enemies take more damage when you switch to another element type. It's pretty useless in normal mode, but kinda useful in the second playthrough. In the later released 3rd playthrough (UVHM) slag is absolutely necessary. You can't win without it as you'll just burn through all your ammo trying to kill anything that's not slagged. This reduces the types of play styles that you can use and obviously requires you dedicate some of your gear to slag. Bye bye diversity... everyone's the same now.
4. Rabid stalkers
Have you fought these? Ugh... the move faster than you, can down you in two hits, can turn invisible and strike out of nowhere, have a ton of health and don't get distracted by anything. Most annoying ememy in both games and DLC. Runner up is the Rabid skags. They seem completely unbalanced and fighting multiple badasses is easier than dealing with one of these baddies.
3. Terrible guns
For a game about having bazillion-er guns there certainly don't seem to be that many. In fact, it feels like there's less than the first game. If you only count guns that are actually useful, then the number drops even further, eliminating whole manufacturerers of guns. With one or two exceptions (dat kerblaster!) the orange guns in BL2 don't seem as fun to me as the original either. I miss my Maliwan shotties!
2. Orange weapons useless 2 levels later (gets worse the higher the level)
I feel more powerful at level 69 in the original Borderlands while carrying a level 53 gun, than I do at (current max) level 61 in BL2 carrying a level 60 orange weapon. Every level you go higher, the difference one level makes gets bigger too. You need at level gear at all times, and to get some good ones you'll use a golden key that you can only get out of game on twitter.
1. No rewards (drops are awful, chests are worse, vendors LOL)
In Borderlands, a bandit would be shooting you with an epic weapon and upon his death he would drop that weapon. That doesn't happen in BL2, they just drop shit. The chests are full of shit, and the vendors are just laughably filled with white shit. You can play for hours and hours and never see an orange weapon. You probably won't even get an at-level purple unless you have a golden key either. It just feels like you don't get rewarded for playing this game the way you did in the first Borderlands. The only thing that drops anything good are the legendary loot midgets that randomly pop out of ammo crates in the third playthrough (UVHM) and they most often will drop a relic.
By: DragonKiss83 Mar 26, 2011 | 8 Comments
Would you like to play as some of the classic Horror characters?
The Weinstein Company has announced that they are teaming up with Beefy Media to bring some of the titles they have home as games. The Weinstein Company has titles like Hellraiser, Halloween, Scream, Children of the Corn, as well as a ton of others. And Beefy Media has Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix, Marvel vs Capcom 2, and Bionic Commando. There was a Hellraiser game in the works a few years back and it never got to see the light of day, could it be getting a new chance? Do you want to be Michael Myers or Maybe hunt him down?
Is this something you have been waiting for? Could they make them worth playing? Don't be a Jimmy, let's hear some thoughts.
Wheatly that fits in the palm of your hand!
Youtube user http://www.youtube.com/user/ammnra is a crafty dude. He is the same guy who made the Rubix Companion cube last year, and replicates weapons from many other games. Today he brings us something a bit more relevant. Mini fan-made versions of Wheatly, Adventure Sphere, Fact Sphere and Space Sphere! They look like they came straight from Portal 2! Unfortunately he is not marketing/ selling them, so we can only watch in awe over the internet.
And his picture gallery http://www.flickr.com/photos/ammnra/sets/72157626669964230/with/5722889210/
What do you guys think of his craftsmanship? Super badass nice to me! Leave a comment on what you think, or share any info on other fan-made stuff.
Some info on the characters and game mechanics to Konami's upcoming Third-Person Shooter.
Neverdead, a game where you play as a Demon Hunter who is seemingly immortal hasn't had much info in a while, till now. You play as the main Demon Hunter Byrce. A long with shooting from third-person, you can also use your limbs as weapons. Bryce can get blown to shit and stlll function in some ways but it is game over when all you have left is your head. Not sure how, but you can also use stuff in the enviroment as weapons, like pillars and walls. One fun-tool to being immortal is covering Bryce in flames as a physical attack and also shoots fire bullets. Now check out the main cast:
An immortal demon hunter who is employed by NADA, a group that covers up recent demon attacks that have afflicted the city. He spends his days killing off demons to collect beer money
An investigator with NADA. She overseas demon hunters, but does not appear to be too fond of being in charge of Bryce.
Like Bryce, demon hunter Alex has the Evil Eye, which is a sign of immortality. However, it is rumored that he is not fully immortal.
A charismatic idol who's half Indian and half American. She meets Bryce following a certain incident
Cool cast, the Half-Indian idol is a bit random. Alex is interesting, I wonder what the technichal difference is between him and Bryce. Hope some character videos show up soon. Does this seem like a fun game? Heres the 2010 video preview in-case you missed it.
WTF is this? Oh yes Jimmy. This IS a sequel.
Ok so some of you may not remember, but I do. A few years ago a game came out called Crackdown. The only reason why anyone even played or heard of this game was to get their hands a the Halo 3 beta which was included on every disc.
Crackdown wasn't the greatest game ever made, actually it was pretty bad. Very simple minded stuff, run around, climb buildings, shoot anything that's shooting at you. There was some minor leveling up, but nothing to get super excited about. I played, a few times ... waiting for the Halo 3 Beta to be made available.
Now it's time for Crackdown 2! I'm sure somewhere very few Jimmys are thrilled to death to hear this news. I was a little, until I saw the pictures that looked like Crackdown 1. WTF? Zombies?! WTF?! Enough with the fuckin' zombies in every game. Anyway, just wanted to give everyone a heads up. Check out these screens and video below.
This is a cut scene I'm sure ...
Uh-oh starting to look Crackdown 1 ...
Okay, this is the same game.
Watch me get destroyed online. Watch how broken the online is. It'll be patched soon. Something is definitely wrong with the sound. A quick look at the generic team story lines. King trials. Poison's wonderful man breasts. Shout out to Capcom!
I've played the Street Fighter X Tekken since I made the video above. I'm enjoying it. I'm learning a lot with Hugo and King. I really like King. Some of the moves in the game are very unique. King has up forward and M for like a rising knee kick. It's pretty sweet and it chains four times in a 6 hit combo. Hugo has down, neutral, down and M for a rising knee. Yeah, I love it.
Keep an eye on the live stream twitch.tv/goukijones for a lot of training and special events this week.
If you'd like to play against any of Team Gouki, on PS3 or Xbox, leave a comment below. Don't be a Jimmy!
By: daisymare Jul 23, 2012 | 3 Comments
This first video was just posted 6 hours ago and the second one is from a Livestream event at Pon-E3 a week ago.
Decent amount of new footage in this new trailer.
Have a look at the madness Wonderland has in store....
Uploaded by http://www.youtube.com/user/EA
A bit disturbing, as it sould be. Madness Returns is slowly shaping up the closer it is towards release. Still looks like an excellent rental. As a reminder, if you buy the game you also get the original with it. Anyone still have their eyes on this?
Brink has been in the making for a few years now and promises something new, something we've never seen before in a FPS game. Is it true? Did Brink live up to the hype? Is it the future of FPS?
So I've been procrastinating about doing my write up for Brink, a new FPS game from Splash Damage. Splash Damage worked on Wolfenstien games, Doom 3(multiplayer only) and Quake Wars, so one would think they have some good experience under their belts right? Personally I've been following Brink since 2009 and I've been totally hyped for it ever since. All the ideas and concepts I've been hearing about the game, sounded like it was going to be the most revolutionary FPS of all time. Featuring the S.M.A.R.T. engine (Smooth Movement Across Random Terrain) and what the developers referred to as being able to seamlessly switch between online and offline play and not know the difference.
Well I'm absolutely embarrassed to say that Brink did not live up to an ounce of it's hype. I told all my friends on Facebook, tweeted to all my followers on twitter and tried my damnedest to sell this game to all the members here on Gouki.com. I can honestly say this will be the last time you ever hear me talk about Brink, unless I bring it up to remind somebody how terribly wrong a game can go. We ordered 3 copies of this game to the office, one we didn't even open and sent it back to Amazon immediately, the other two were put on eBay less than two days after receiving them. We were lucky to get $39 for both copies. One of the people that bought a copy was named Jimmy, ha! Go figure.
One of the online reviews I watched said it best, the two sides in the game are simply there just to fight against each other. They all look the same, there's no women in this world. I'd be trying to get the fuck out too, if titties were banned on this beautiful floating city island thingy. There's a short cutscene before and after each level and even while playing multiplayer and you can't skip through this stuff fast enough. Anybody that knows my gaming style, knows I don't watch cut scenes anyway. Brink just did this completely wrong.
This is where I plan to really ramble, so try and keep up. Leveling up is just like COD or Crysis, the more you play the more experience you get and the more goodies you can buy. (Except weapon upgrades, which I'll explain more later.) Each class has a group of "perks" you can unlock by playing the game. Then there is an overall perk list, which adds more health or more special moves. Once you've leveled up all of this, then what? That fun is gone and I expect anybody still playing this game right now, is probably maxed out. The 4 different classes are a great idea in Brink, but if you're playing offline and you're the not class that the objective is asking for, well then you're fucked, because the AI don't do shit. Remember that seamlessly switching between online and offline? Yeah totally fails here.
Weapon upgrades are no different from other games, extended clips, different sights, grenade attachments, yeah all cool. Here's the thing though, you have to do the challenges to unlock these attachments. You can do the challenges with your friends up to four people. The difficulty increases with stars and you can unlock more and more stuff. But wait there's a catch, you can't unlock items if you play with your friends online. That's right, you have to do these challenges offline and alone to unlock the items. No fun there. Seamlessly switch between online and offline.
Playing online with friends was fun for about 2-3 games. Oh that was while we were playing private matches with bots. The bots are dumb as hell and playing public games were no different, if nobody had operative leveled up then nobody played operative. That lead to the objective not getting done and well ... equaled Team Sad Face. When we switched to public games and actually started playing random Jimmys online, the game came to a screeching halt and I witnessed lag like I have never seen before in my life. I didn't know what was going on and we eventually switched back to just playing private matches. Public matches eventually did work for me, but I was playing alone, all of my friends had given up already. Another feature of the "seamlessly switch between online and offline."
I would give Halo Reach a hard time about it only being two colors most of the maps, but Brink took it to a whole-notha-level. I really think you can define the color of Brink and just grey bland. That's an official color now. Splash Damage could have easily made at least one or two stages in an atrium or on a beach of this Jimmy ass island city. Every level either takes place in a grey building, with the exception of the level that is in the shipping yard. That level is red bland.
The characters look cool and I like the idea behind the design and this is probably the best feature in the game. There's no girls though, like I mentioned earlier and that move right there I think turned off a lot of female gamers. On a side note, one stupid thing about the customization was that when you were selecting different colors for you gear, they were like shaded or grayed out and you couldn't really see what color it was until you actually put the gear on your character. Somebody was asleep on this one.
There's nothing really good to say about Brink. This game shouldn't have cost more that 1200 MSP points or $15 bucks for you PS3 Jimmys. There's only 8 maps, no campaign and maybe 3-4 game types. Not even a pair of the most spectacular elongated boobs would have save this game.
By: iorilamia Feb 7, 2011 | 13 Comments
What characters do you wish would come back to a game series? Did one of your favorites get killed off, did the story change completely, or did they just stop putting that character in games?
First I'd like to start off with Geese" DOUBLE REPPUKEN" Howard. He hasn't been in a new snk game for years.
The mans a badass to say the least. He is from FatalFury and his attitude and fighting style are what makes me miss him the most. The version of Geese that I want returning, is one similiar to the CvS2 style. If you are not familiar with Geese, basically he had Gouken counters, air fireballs that push him backwards, and ground fireballs. He had incredibly strong normals and his super "RAGING STORM!!!!" is the best anti air ever. Besides his yelling, what made him so cool was he taunted you when he throws you and basically tells you your going to die before the round starts; "you cannot escape long death...." I would have loved to see him in kof12 (a long with 30 other characters,lol) and he wasn't included in 13 (doubt they will have DLC). Here to hoping SNKP use him in something. Heres a video demonstrating some basic combos with N-groove. Uplaoded by http://www.youtube.com/user/6248p
Second Character is Karas! The armored swordsman of Tatsunoko.
Karas was a popular anime and manga before his appearance in Tatsunoko vs Capcom. He is on my wishlist because even though TvC was an AMAZING game (and will always be one of my favorite vs games), it did not get really big, mainly because it was wii only and Americans don't know wtf Tatsunoko is. With MvC3 coming I don't think we wil see a tvc2 anytime soon...or ever. Karas was one of the lowest hp characters (next to Zero and roll) but his playstyle was beast. He has great offensive slashes with nice reach and quick jabs that allow him to combo into huge setups. His reflect projectile move and assist also could be used as an attack into his super combo. He had a counter super, one that rushes, and one that turns him into a flying disc, all of these perfectly transported from the anime to the game. What made karas unique was his chain attack, his srk and a dash atack that could lead into combos. His uppercut attack was not only extremely fast, but it could be done twice and went straight up very high. His chain could be used long range to hold enemies for assist mixups and supers, or to pull them towards him leaving them helpless. Despite him being "bottom tier" because he got super nerfed in American version,I felt that if you used him right, he was unstoppable! Heres a short basic combo video for those of you that are unfamiliar.
Video uplaoded by http://www.youtube.com/user/KOFXIKula
Finally is the Zora people, from Legend of Zelda.
They where Fish people that played guitars made out of fish bones ; epic. You first encounter them in Ocarina of time, but Majoras Mask is where the real fun starts. Once you get the Zora mask, you become one of them and get to explore their world. It was just good fun. The outside world was big and interesting enough, but being able to swim to new places was even more exciting. Obviously the new Zelda game coming out for Wii ins't having some sort of transforming link (that we know of), but as long as we get to interact with the Zora and travel to their world, I'm happy.Video of Zora link doing quests and stuff, uplaoded by http://www.youtube.com/user/SonicBlueSky
So what characters would you guys love to see return? Have you played these games/characters? Leave a comment below.
A more in depth look at KOF XIII.
King of Fighters XIII improves upon the KOF XII engine, using the Taito Type X2 arcade board like it's predecessor. There are nine returning KOF veterans in this installment, including: King, Mai, Yuri, Takuma, Vice, Maxima, Hwa Jai, Kula, K' and a console exclusive character, Billy Kane! This makes for a total of 32 characters so far, and they will be grouped into teams (unlike the prequel). There will also be a much greater selection of character colors (10 per character) along with some ultra cool sprite edits & "head swaps" for certain characters. At least 8 new hand-drawn stages will appear in the console version, and returning stages have been given visual updates as well.
Special moves now have "normal" and "EX" versions. The EX specials cost a small amount of the power gauge and can add extra hits, boost attack speed, and/or add an extra frame of invincibility! A new gameplay feature is the "Triple Cancel," which allows players to unlimitedly cancel their character's moves. The Triple Cancel is dependent on the "Hyper Drive Gauge," a three-tier gauge which gradually drains as the fighters cancel their moves. When a fighter is in Hyper Drive Mode and has three power stocks, they can perform a powerful technique known as a "Neo Max Desperation Move". Players can also link a Neo Max technique into a combo, which is dubbed "Max Cancel". The "zoom" effect that was used in King of Fighters XII on counter moves has been removed and the gameplay speed has also been improved greatly.
The Story Mode features a scoring system. When fighting against a computer opponent, players are challenged to complete a random objective during stages, or Target Actions. Completing these tasks can award bonus points at the scoring screen. Meeting certain conditions can also reward players the next round by filling up their power gauge or Hyper Drive Gauge. Objectives include goals such as completing a certain amount of hits within one combo, successfully hitting the opponent with a desperation technique (including EX and Neo Max desperation moves or specials), or being asked to perform a certain attack within 10 seconds. Pre-fight dialogue is also featured in game's 1-player mode.
There will also be a "mission mode" but there are no details on it yet. I hope it is similar to the MVC3 mission mode or the SSF4 trials, challenging and fun. As far as we know billy kane is the only console exclusive character but i really hope more is added. Oswald from KOF XI would kick tons of ass in this game i really hope he is added. KOF XIII is looking to hang with the big boys in the figthing game world and i think it has all the tools to do so. With improved online features and a improved network code from the previous game KOF XIII should really appeal to fighting game fans. This game drops october 25th for the ps3 and 360 will you take on the king? I know i will and i now i leave you with a look at the current roster and the latest trailer. Let us know what you think and dont be a jimmy.
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