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goukijones

Steel Battalion Heavy Armor trailer 100% Fake

By: goukijones Jun 19, 2012 | 3 Comments

None of this stuff will actually appear in your living room. So I still don't know what this game will really look like or how it will work. The clip starts with the Jimmy picking up a controller. None of this is real.

Video

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GoukiJones unboxing Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3

By: goukijones Nov 11, 2011 | 11 Comments

Special thanks to Capcom. Gouki.com appreciates the early look at Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3. We can't "review" until Monday, but that's irrelevant. Hyped! I wanted to make this video so all the Jimmys know we is official. #gouki

A quick look the 6 DLC characters for Tekken Tag 2 from the official Tekken Youtube Channel. Check it out!

Tell us what you think in the comments. Don't be a Jimmy!

News

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X-men Arcade out now!

By: Cinderkin Dec 15, 2010 | 14 Comments

The classic 1992 X-Men Arcade by Konami is finally made it's return. Out Now on XBLA and PSN. Go and Save the City!

It's finally here, one of my favorite arcade games growing up. I can't wait to smash some Sentinal ass. 4 player local co-op, and 6 player online drop in drop out co-op

The best part is that it's only 800 MSP or $10 PSN. Lately all the games I really want have been $15 or more. 

Go and Save the City! Welcom to Die!

 

 

Tell us what you think in the comments. Don't be a Jimmy!

See you online! (I'm Cyclops or I'll kill you) I've got my EYE on you ;)

Microsoft finally releases a new wifi adapter that plays with 802.11n. Also, it's black.

For those who's XBox 360 is connected to the internet via wifi, this is some good news.

First, the existing wifi adapter (which connects to a, b, or g networks) is getting a price cut from $99 to $79. It's still overpriced, but hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks.

The reason it's getting this price cut is to make room at the $99 price point for the new wireless adapter which will connect to the recently ratified 802.11n networks offering speeds up to 300mbps (as opposed to the 54mbps of the previous model).

The unit has two antennae and still supports the old standards (so you can upgrade one piece at a time), and supports n in either the 2.4 or 5 GHz range. Oh, and it's black to match your elite system. You have an elite system, right?

xbox 360 wireless n adapter

Z VS Kyzon & Z VS MikeXero Recorded LIVE from GameWorks in Las Vegas, NV. Via @5thDimensionLV

Review

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Metal Gear Solid 4 review

By: BatRastered Dec 27, 2010 | 13 Comments

I bought this game with my PS3 slim over a year ago. I finally got around to playing it.

MGS4 has been sitting in the shrink rap since I bought it. I felt obligated to play this game since IGN wanted to increase their rating scale to 11 to handle this game, and it got perfect scores from Gamespot, Gamepro, G4, and Game Informer as well as the official US Playstation magazine, which I expect is biased.

My PS3 was up to date thanks to a Modnation Racers revisit last week, so thankfully I didn't have to apply a patch, however the game does require an install. This takes about 10 minutes during which time Solid Snake is on the screen chain smoking cigarettes. Seriously, he just takes one out, lights up, smokes it, and repeats the whole process over and over while the game is installing. Awesome. Meanwhile the game is displaying helpful hints on the screen like "If you feel ill, stop playing immediately." Great advice!

The first level, if you can call it that consists of a cut scene of you arriving into a war-zone on a truck full of other Jimmies with a voice over by Snake about how much war sucks and how far up his ass his underwear is riding. After 10 minutes of this blithering and blathering, you finally get off the truck and are given control of Snake for the first time. There's really nothing to do in the tiny area you're dropped off in except take a look around at the fighting and crawl under the truck to get to the other side. As soon as you crawl under the truck, you are shown another cut scene before being given control of Snake again. This time you need to walk around the side of a building. Cut scene. Now some walking tank things show up. Avoid them and walk into a hallway. Cut scene.

Getting the picture? Yeah, I played about 3 minutes and watched about 25 minutes of cut scenes at this point. It doesn't get better. The graphics are good and the cut scenes are at least done in-engine, so at least the experience is seamless.

The shooting controls were designed by a 3-armed retard, requiring you to push the L1 button (and hold it) to bring your weapon up, triangle to use the targeting system (a laser sight for your pistol, or scope for a rifle, etc) and finally R1 to shoot. Note that the triggers are not used for this, they are for the menu system to switch between weapons and item. WTF?

The "stealth" gameplay basically consists of you stepping two inches out of cover, getting spotted, killing the guy who spotted you using the horrible shooter controls, running away to hide somewhere and putting the controller down while your waiting for the alert to be called off two minutes later while you go make yourself another drink.

The story only makes sense to Jimmy, who thinks he actually understands it but couldn't tell you even one of the character's names besides Snake and will tell you that he's beaten the space mission 7 times. (What?) I'd rather spend 45 minutes trying to get the third star on level 2-12 of Angry Birds than sit through another Kojima cut scene.

Verdict: Flush it

Community Deals

Arthvader

This Week on Xbox Live 7-10-2012

By: Arthvader Jul 10, 2012 | 5 Comments

A list of what's to come this week on XBL.

As usual, here's what you can expect to see this week on Xbox Live:

Read full story...

Dragon's Dogma looks amazing, but how does it play? Team Gouki got hands-on with this new Capcom RPG at E3 2011. 7 Minutes of gameplay featuring the Chimera battle and FnJimmy's exclusive take.

Before I get into the FnJimmy take and the 7 minutes video let me just tell you, I am hype for this game. This was the first game I played at E3 this year and I was terrible at it. I fought the Griffin, like you've seen from the video. I had no idea what was going on, later I figured out that I was supposed to coordinate with my party to take down the giant flying Jimmy bird. The  load screen that shows you the button is hilarious. I've never seen so many commands for one game. 

I got my butt kicked by that Griffin, I'm sure if I had a little more experience with the game, I would have raiped it. I don't know how I feel about the party system just yet. You can see in the video below that graphics -especially when the Chimera finally dies- needs a little work. I guess we'll have to wait and see when the game is released sometime in 2012. Sad face.

7 Minutes of Gameplay and FnJimmy's Exclusive Take

If you're previliged enough to be on my Xbox Live friends list then you've probably only seen me playing Halo Wars even though MvC3 just dropped this week. I love RTS games, I love Samurai too ... Check out Total War: Shogun 2

Total War: Shogun Collector's Edition

Total War: Shogun 2 Collector's Edition

  • An exclusive (to the Collector’s Edition, at least), high-quality, hand-painted bamboo chess set
  • Shogun 2 Art Book
  • “Art Of War” bamboo box replica
  • Takeda Shingen Daimyo figurine

Total War: Shogun 2 Collector's Edition Chess Set

The definition of one Bad Ass Nice Collector's Edtion. The Bamboo chess set is pretty sweet. So you might be asking yourself, where do I pick up such a lovely collector's edtion. I don' t know. Amazon doesn't list, well the do, but only in the UK. The US Amazon just lists the regular version. America gets screwed again!

Read full story...

Review

goukijones

Vlog 6.1 Fallout 3 Gameplay Review

By: goukijones Oct 6, 2009 | 2 Comments

I love Fallout 3 Jimmy! Watch these pwnn ass videos!

Vault 108

Gaaaary! This is a Semi-Strategy/walkthrough/review of the Vault 108 area in Fallout 3. I pwn the shit out of this cloning lab with and hostiles yelling Gaaaary! I demonstrate a few of my favorite weapons from Fallout 3. I find the Bobble head for Charisma. Check out my other Fallout Videos. Don't be a Jimmy!!!

Evergeen Mills

Semi-Strategy/walkthrough/review of the Evergreen Mills area in Fallout 3. I am drunk. This video demonstrates most weapons from Fallout 3. I take down a Super Mutant Behemoth! Countless raiders get pwnd and I find the Bobble head for Barter. Smiling Jack gets railed by the Death claw. Check out my other Fallout Videos. Don't be a Jimmy!

Blog

BatRastered

A Wild Rant on Contrast

By: BatRastered Sep 24, 2009 | 3 Comments

With apologies to Richard Llewellyn... How dark was my television that day, too, black in the bright sun.

Jimmy, WTF is with all these dark games lately? I don't mean dark as in gritty storyline, but literaly, as in "I can't see shit", dark.

I first encoutered this development this year while playing through Mass Effect. Now, Mass Effect is not truly a dark game, but there are some very low contrast parts. Specifically I'm refereing to the surface maps when landing on a planet. The map screen consists of a dark blue field with some slightly lighter (but by no means light) blue segments to indicate elevation. I couldn't see the map at all unless I closed all the blinds and even then it was a bit of a struggle.

More recently, Batman Arkham Asylum was released for the PS3 and 360. I loved this game, but you really had to play more than half of it with the "detective mode" on which turned the screen bluish and highlighted the bad guys skeletons in red. There were many parts of this game that were hard to see without it.

Just this week, Halo 3: ODST came out for the XBox 360. This game too has a mode (they call it VISR) that allows enhanced vision. Half the game, again, requires it because it's night and I guess there's no lights on in the city or something. VISR mode highlights all the edges of objects in red (for enemies), green (for allies), or yellow (for objects like building walls). There was a part early on where you have to search through a dark building for a clue, and I swear I was just walking into wall for 5 minutes because I couldn't see shit.

Do the developers of these games play them in the dark exclusively? Can we get them some sunshine? Serioulsy, bump the contrast a little... or throw in a flashlight for my character. Do something so I can see. Wandering around in the dark is not fun for me. Some of us like to play during the day or with a light on so other people in the room can see what they're doing.

End of rant.

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