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Dragon Age II is nothing like the original

By: goukijones Jan 15, 2011 | 6 Comments

Dragon age II has a unique lead character, new combat and magic systems and a completely different story telling style from the original. What does this mean? Dragon Age II is more like an original game.

Dragon age II has a unique lead character, new combat and magic systems and a completely different story telling style from the original. What does this mean? Dragon Age II is more like an original game.

I played it! At that point though I had no idea what was going on with the story really. Mike Laidlaw was trying to explain it to me, but I was probably a little drunk. It was late in the afternoon that day at the San Diego comic-con and we just stumbled out of this half strip club, half steak house somewhere smack dab in the middle of the Gaslamp district. While walking back to the convention center FnJimmy gets smacked in the side of the dome with what looked like a giant condom package at first. I picked it up and read Dragon Age II, some chicks where just chucking these things into the crowd. Then I realized some reh-tard dressed as Goku run by with a giant inflatable sword. That's what the chick hit FnJimmy in the side of the face with. So we headed up stairs to check out Dragon Age II, what happens next is amazing. Dragon Age II Hands-on SDCC 2011.

But that's not why we are here today. Dragon Age II is coming out in a few weeks. By the way it's Dragon Age II, roman numerals Jimmy. EA even spells it Dragon Age 2 sometimes, Sorry, maybe that's my problem. I pre-ordered my Bioware Signature Edition. If you didn't, don't worry, you're still gonna get some cool DLC when the game is released. But for those of you who did pre-order the Bioware Signature Edition here's a look at some of the DLC you will be getting.

Dragon Age 2 : Exiled Prince



Also in another video released this week. Gouki.com's old drinking buddy Mike Liadlaw returns to explain the unique story telling in Dragon Age II. This time everybody is sober. When you watch this video and listen to what they are saying, you know, if you played the first game that this going to be a completely different experience. Personally I think a lot about Mass Effect, when Mike explains it. I'll control the one main guy and he will develop a personality depending on my actions in the game, just like Mass Effect. Which is fine, but in the original Dragon Age you got to choose from an elf, a human, or a dwarf. Then on top of that you got to choose if you were high class or low class. That is completely out in Dragon Age II and I hope it works. So check out the latest developer diary from Mike Laidlaw and his team.

Dragon Age 2 Making Of part 2

I'm not one for polls ... lol polls.

Cliffy B just couldn't resist putting his face in one of those cool Bulletstorm videos. Demo date confirmed through Twitter. And finally the word on multiplayer and it's not what you would expect.

Bulletstorm demo date confirmed via @danacowley on twitter yesterday. January 25, 2011. We're gonna get the Echoes mode which is, campaign levels that you play solo and compete for high scores against your friends. I'm a little disappointed if I won't be able to experience some of the co-op. Either way though, I will be playing the demo and playing the shit out of it hopefully. Bulletstorm looks like a TON of fun.

In a new Bulletstorm video posted, not included in the Bulletstorm preview I just wrote two days ago.

Bulletstorm Weapons and Anarchy mode - Cliffy B jumps in to take up Tanya Jessen screen time. Sad face. So Cliffy B is all up this video talking about the weapons. I'm exciting about the weapons. I'd be more excited if Tanya Jessen was telling me about them more. Remember that feeling you got throwing the Perfect Dark suitcase gun up against the wall as a turret? Bulletstorm has me interesting in seeing what I can do with their weapons. They all have some very cool concepts and secondary functionalities. The main premise of the game is to just fuck up as much shit as possible at a time and see who can score the most points. 

So now we know, there is nothing traditional about the Bulletstorm multiplayer. There's PvP, but it's only for points. I don't think you will even be playing at the same time. Something similar to racing against your friends times on NFSHP. This is great, for that you can compete with your friends and you don't have to be online at the same time. I just don't think it will have much replay value. The hardcore Gears Jimmys are gonna be screaming that there isn't traditional multiplayer, but that is just not the style of Bulletstorm. Wait for Gears of War 3 ya Jimmy.

And finally I leave you with yet another video about Bulletstorm. Epic has been blowing it out with the promotions and they are all great. Make sure you check out and subscribe to the Epic Games YouTube Channel.

Bulletpoints #4

There's only one way to GUARANTEE your access into the Gears of War 3 Beta at this point. A press release states that the beta is filling up and all requests for codes may not be filled. Leave a comment for a chance to win one of our codes. (if we get any)

Oh the goodness you are missing right now Jimmy. Don't worry, it's not like there are a million people playing Gears 3 right now. @therealcliffyb has been giving them away all day, over the Twitter and even in person. A few other employees from Epic have been passing them out, websites and I'm sure if you know somebody at a GameStop, you might even have one too. 

We've been trying to get some for a few days, but we have been assured that the codes are very limited. Here's a tidbit from the email blast some press just received.

As you can imagine, we’ve received an overwhelming number of requests for beta tokens recently. Due to limited supply, unfortunately we can’t provide tokens to everyone at this time, but we’ve noted your request and will follow up closer to the beta launch on April 25 if we’re able to accommodate.

So we're keeping our fingers crossed for right now in hopes that we get some codes to share with you. Stick with Gouki.com and if you want a code, leave a comment, we'll do the best we can. I'm sure the more comments we get the better the chance we get at getting any codes at all.

With all that said and you don't believe in luck, you can buy your way in, by Pre-Ordering ANY version of Gears of War 3 from GameStop.com. 

Get ready to jump back in the action with Delta Squad beginning this April by pre-ordering “Gears of
War 3” online at www.gamestop.com/gearsofwar3 or from any conveniently located GameStop store.* Fans can pre-order one of the three distinct “Gears of War 3” editions -- Standard ($59.99 USD), Limited ($79.99) and Epic ($149.99) -- and gain access to three weeks of multiplayer beta action on Xbox LIVE, beginning April 25.**

You can bet your sweet ass Gears of War 3 is going to be a lot of fun.

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Batman Arkham Asylum

By: goukijones Sep 12, 2009 | 8 Comments

I have totally raiped this game at this point. I recently beat it on hard and it was an excellent challenge.

I have totally raiped this game at this point. I recently beat it on hard and it was an excellent challenge. Some of the combat scenarios had me locked up for hours! On the same fight Jimmy! It was so easy running through it a second time.

Running through the game the first time was a blast. What an excellent job with gameplay and story telling. This certainly is one of the best Batman games I've ever played. Don't forget Lego Batman, good in it's own Lego way.

There's so many styles of gameplay and challenges in the Batman Arkham Asylum I assure you, you will never be bored with it. I played through it twice in less that a week. Ok so maybe now you're thinking it's short. Don't worry about the length. The challenges provide great replay value and there's already FREE DLC on the way. Play this fuckin' game Jimmy! It's a can't miss and is one of the BEST games this year. Don't be a Jimmy!

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Batman Arkham Asylum Collector's Edition Unboxing

By: goukijones Sep 12, 2009 | 11 Comments

This is a true story ...

I really thought the batarang was going to be a little bit more serious.

The game is well worth it though. Buy the regular version.

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Best Deal for Gamers Jimmy Gems nominees

By: goukijones Dec 13, 2010 | 11 Comments

Save that money Jimmy! Best coupons, shipping rates and free dlc.

Free Halo Reach forge maps added to matchmaking

I did not believe my eyes when I saw to free user created maps on the playlist that first night. Unfortunately they will all be the same color as that Forge World. Who cares, it's free and actually enjoy one of those maps.


Kmart gaming coupons

As long as you were buying your games from Kmart every week you were only paying about $42 for each game. With almost every new release purchase you got a $20 coupon on a future game. Deals Jimmy.


Amazon $0.99 release date delivery

If don't like to leave the house like we do then this is the best deal for you. Imagine the gas you would save not driving to the closet ghetto errrrrr Kmart to buy your games every week. Let the Jimmy ass UPS man bring it to your door. Amazon also rivaled Kmart with $20 coupons with every new release you buy.

Summer of Arcade rebates

Bought all 5 you got 1200 points back.

Bought 3 of them you got 400 points back.

In the house we had 4 of the five. We did not have Hydro Thunder, because we are not nubfarm. Any type of rebate in this situation is good. I wish I hadn't bought MNC or the Castlevania, would have saved me 2400 points!

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Best Playstation 3 exclusive Jimmy Gems Nominees

By: goukijones Dec 13, 2010 | 17 Comments

I have played all of these games. Uhhhhh here's the list ...

God of War III

I played about half way through this game.

ModNation Racers

Jimmy Modnation Racer mod

Gran Turismo 5

I did play this. Gran Turismo VS Need for Speed Hot Pursuit.


Heavy Rain

Heavy Rain isn't even in the catalog. I did play this game. I do not understand what people were so excited about. The first scene: The chick comes home with the groceries and asks me to help, I just sat on the couch and ignored her for 30 mins and watched cartoons.

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Check out Gouki.com booth babe of the year 2009 in a new video from a game I'm just learning about. Combat Arms.

I've never heard of Nexon and I've heard only a few things about Combat Arms. At first I thought we were talking about Small Arms, that XBLA game from a few years ago. Needless to say, I was confused. Well thanks to Joanne Paguio, Gouki.com booth babe of the year 2009. I now know who Nexon is and that Combat Arms is a PC FPS. I only know because Joanne is in this video, so check her out at 4:20 in the women's bathroom. lol.

Nexon - BlockParty Blabber Box -- Episode 1

You can learn more about Nexon and what Combat Arms is on their official website.

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2010 VGA Blithering Blathering Blog

By: goukijones Dec 12, 2010 | 8 Comments

Warning drunken rant ahead. I was not sober while taking notes last night during the VGA's. I'm barely sober now. I'm just going to copy over my notes. Read on with care. Don't be a Jimmy!

Batman Arkham City - Dissapointing pre-rendered trailer. 

Elder Scrolls Skyrim 11/11/11 - Pre-rendered bullshit. *Not a Tuesday.

Kratos IS official in Mortal Kombat. Pre-rendered trailer didn't show shit.

Thor game announced = Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Cliffy B backed out of his appearance at the last second. If he was going to make a Kinect announcement for Gears of War 3, I think he realized this may have not been the place. *There was no Kinect or Move talk at all during the VGA's.

Gran Turismo 5 - My Chemical Romance performance was the epitome of that game. Reh-tard!

Mass Effect 3 - Pre-rendered bullshit again. We are however, going to Earth. Holiday 2011.

Call of Duty Black Ops = Best Shooter - translates to bullshit. There must be a thousand videos on youtube of people complaining about how terrible it is. 

Resistance 3 = Irrelevant. 9/06/2011

Prototype 2 - 2012 = Negative. The people don't care about 2012 bullshit right now. Prototype was a game that dropped in retail just as fast as Kane and Lynch 2. I couldn't even give my copy away.

Insane from Guillermo del Toro. Release date 2013?! WTF seriously? We're gonna hold you to it Guillermo del Toro, when this game never comes out. To Schmidt.

SSX Deadly Decent. Cinderkin and BatRastered were creaming their pants. I don't know why.

John Marston IS NOT the character of the year. They give it to the nuab from COD. To make things worse Spike sucks off Neil Patrick Harris center stage and give him best voice actor for Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions. A game nobody played and nobody will EVER remember for having Neil Patrick Harris in it.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Release date 11/01/2011. Sold!

Red Dead Redemption wins Game of the Year.

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Exclusive pictures from SDCC 2010

By: goukijones Jul 29, 2010 | 10 Comments

Just a couple of photos from the Comic-con I took. Don't be a Jimmy. You can not miss the Street Fighter cosplay.

I'm sorry I didn't take more pictures. The Juri isn't enough for you?

Can't see the pics?! Click here!!

That Juri is super hot yes? Well she is a professional, Jimmy. Check out her site and tell her Gouki.com said WHAT UP?!

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Fable III topless pie making

By: goukijones Oct 28, 2010 | 13 Comments

In Fable III it doesn't matter what clothes you have on. So you can walk around naked if you want and make pies.

The princess in Fable III has huge breasts and it is an absolute pleasure to watch her do just about everything. Including pie making. This video is for Jimmy. Enjoy.

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Enslaved Odyssey to the Nubfarm review

By: goukijones Dec 14, 2010 | 6 Comments

Another adventure, beat-em up game. Enslaved tries to pull in features from other games, how well does that work? I will tell you, I beat the game in 1 sitting. About 6 hours. Here's my review ...

Remember Randy Pitchford said he loves this game. You have to comb every corner of the Enslaved world and pick up little orange orbs that are like money in the game. You can talk to your partner chick (Who's name is Trip and she is kinda hot. For being all smelly and dirty.) Trip has this wonderful store she can access, full of upgrades to your health and shield. She can also mod your weapon and teach you new fighting moves. Weird how you are running for life with this chick and she has all this stuff with her, but makes me BUY IT. Sad face. Anyway back to the collecting the orbs and Randy Pitchford, did you enjoy picking up every single dollar on the ground in Borderlands?! Please in Borderlands 2, can my guy just automatically suck up whatever money he runs over.

When I watched the FNJimmy golden video review Enslaved Odyssey to the West. I knew I had to play Enslaved. I did and I beat the shit out of it. I had all the moves the main guy can unlock by level 4 or 5. Pro-tips: I don't ever level health or shield or armor in these games early on or most games for that fact. I believe that if you are good in the combat you don't need to worry about your health. Needless to say, I was beating the shit out of these things fairly easy. Which brings me to the enemies. There are only 4 types of enemies. Mechs, which is exactly what they call them in the game, come out in a few different classes. All railable immediately if you knew what you are doing with the combat. Giant dogs, which are called .. dogs. I know what you are thinking. There is one giant Rollie Pollie boss fight. Another scene you fight scorpions, which in the game are called scorpion mechs. lol.

The game is easily PWNable in 8 hours or less. The characters are the best part of this game. They are all well acted, well voiced and well written. I laughed a few times when the writing in the game made fun of how stupid the gameplay is. Platforming rig comes out of the side of the building and there's a switch at the top - hit switch. Another platforming rig on the other side of the symmetrical building comes out with another switch at the top. "Oh are you kidding me with this crap?" Says the main character. I like that stuff. I didn't mind doing those chores in the game because I got a little laugh out of them once in a while.

The final battle was worth the play through for me and the story ending wasn't that bad either. Like I said, the game has good writing. FNJimmy told me he beat the game and it was only 12 chapters. Well when I was on chapter 14 and 4am playing this, I knew I was fucked. Still some of the best platforming comes in at the end of the game. The puzzles and the combat were still all bullshit. The ending is definitely a highlight for the game and I don't mean when the actual credits roll.

The combat is the major problem here, it's bland and aggravating. Even while blocking I would take a pounding. It was real difficult to keep control of the fights. The camera is definitely not your friend at all while playing Enslaved. With the combat it just came down to timing special moves, when I knew I could use them most effectively. To just smashing the X or Y button, because any type of chain combo with two buttons did nothing sepcial. Smash on X until your "Rod" glows then hit Y. The Jimmy does this awesome 10 hit combo. It's completely automatic and goes in whatever direction you're facing. Pretty bad. The A button also got worked over pretty well. The platforming that some might say LOOKS like Uncharted 2, PLAYS nothing like Uncharted 2. As long as you're smashing the A button and rotating the thumb stick toward which ever way you wanted to go, he just jumped. No big deal, hanging from the side of moving air-trains or dangling over bottomless pits. The main guy would jump and catch on, or swing through, with out ever being in any danger. Unless he was getting shot at, but c'mon, nubfarm.

I beat this game in 1 sitting. Call what you will, I call it PWNn. I wouldn't waste your money on this game. It's already at a very low price, but it's not even worth it. There's tons better stuff for you, that you could be playing right now! Why are you even reading this? Enslaved Odyssey to the West get a ...

Flush it!

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