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Written by: goukijones (x)

Buy Darksiders from Best Buy and receive a free action figure. My Darksiders action figure came in the mail today and you're not going to believe these pictures.

Dear Best Buy and THQ,              

                   You should be ashamed of yourselves. First of all there was never any clear information about the Darksiders Action figure bonus when the game first came out. There was no information, if you had to fill out an online form to get the action figure and when you called or spoke to a Best Buy employee they didn't have a clue. Finally after digging through all types of forums, I came to the conclusion that the figure would just be mailed to me in a couple of weeks. This is what came in the mail today, this is exactly how I took it from the mail person this morning.

darksiders action figure

This is what came in the mail today.

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Fable III topless pie making

By: goukijones Oct 28, 2010 | 13 Comments

In Fable III it doesn't matter what clothes you have on. So you can walk around naked if you want and make pies.

The princess in Fable III has huge breasts and it is an absolute pleasure to watch her do just about everything. Including pie making. This video is for Jimmy. Enjoy.

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Windows Phone hands-on CES 2011 with goukijones

By: goukijones Jan 10, 2011 | 9 Comments

Oh wow! The new Windows Phone is here. I hate cell phones. Bing.com hating on Gouki.com caught on tape!

So some of you may not know this, but I hate cell phones. Yes, yes, I'm glad to have mine and I use it a lot. Sometimes though, I could just be sitting on the couch and constantly checking it every two seconds. Then I catch myself doing this and I get very angry. I feel way to attached to it. Then when your girlfriend is constantly texting you and geting angrier and angrier because you aren't responding. You don't know, you left the phone in another room so you would be sucked into it's unholy control over your mind.
Anyway, I think I'm way off topic here. I could do with out cell phones that's for sure. But everything around me would fall apart. Check out me trying to get on Gouki.com with the new Windows Phone at CES 2011. 

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Batman Arkham Asylum Collector's Edition Unboxing

By: goukijones Sep 12, 2009 | 11 Comments

This is a true story ...

I really thought the batarang was going to be a little bit more serious.

The game is well worth it though. Buy the regular version.

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Batman Arkham Asylum

By: goukijones Sep 12, 2009 | 8 Comments

I have totally raiped this game at this point. I recently beat it on hard and it was an excellent challenge.

I have totally raiped this game at this point. I recently beat it on hard and it was an excellent challenge. Some of the combat scenarios had me locked up for hours! On the same fight Jimmy! It was so easy running through it a second time.

Running through the game the first time was a blast. What an excellent job with gameplay and story telling. This certainly is one of the best Batman games I've ever played. Don't forget Lego Batman, good in it's own Lego way.

There's so many styles of gameplay and challenges in the Batman Arkham Asylum I assure you, you will never be bored with it. I played through it twice in less that a week. Ok so maybe now you're thinking it's short. Don't worry about the length. The challenges provide great replay value and there's already FREE DLC on the way. Play this fuckin' game Jimmy! It's a can't miss and is one of the BEST games this year. Don't be a Jimmy!

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Check out Gouki.com booth babe of the year 2009 in a new video from a game I'm just learning about. Combat Arms.

I've never heard of Nexon and I've heard only a few things about Combat Arms. At first I thought we were talking about Small Arms, that XBLA game from a few years ago. Needless to say, I was confused. Well thanks to Joanne Paguio, Gouki.com booth babe of the year 2009. I now know who Nexon is and that Combat Arms is a PC FPS. I only know because Joanne is in this video, so check her out at 4:20 in the women's bathroom. lol.

Nexon - BlockParty Blabber Box -- Episode 1

You can learn more about Nexon and what Combat Arms is on their official website.

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Best Playstation 3 exclusive Jimmy Gems Nominees

By: goukijones Dec 13, 2010 | 17 Comments

I have played all of these games. Uhhhhh here's the list ...

God of War III

I played about half way through this game.

ModNation Racers

Jimmy Modnation Racer mod

Gran Turismo 5

I did play this. Gran Turismo VS Need for Speed Hot Pursuit.


Heavy Rain

Heavy Rain isn't even in the catalog. I did play this game. I do not understand what people were so excited about. The first scene: The chick comes home with the groceries and asks me to help, I just sat on the couch and ignored her for 30 mins and watched cartoons.

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LA get ready, Fight Club is back and they are featuring the two newest titles from Capcom. Also as a bonus, vintage playable arcade boards of some classic Capcom fighting games will be there. Line up early, don't be a Jimmy.

Marvel Vs Capcom 3 Fight Club February 3, 2011

Straight from the email, what else do you need to know?

Friends! Fans!

It’s time again for get hype for FIGHT CLUB! That’s right, we’re throwing another Marvel VS Capcom 3 Fight Club and we’re back on our home turf in Los Angeles.

This THURSDAY, FEB 3, you will get a chance to not only play over 30 characters from the game, but also test drive Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition on the Nintendo 3DS! We’ve also got much more planned including awesome music acts (including DJ R-Rated, Miles Mosley and a surprise performance), tons of tasty grub and exclusive swag available to the first 200 fans in line.
Even more rare, we'll have playable arcade boards (NOT console ports) for every game that lead up to this latest Marvel/Capcom face-off: X-Men: Children of the Atom (1994), Marvel Super Heroes (1995), X-Men vs Street Fighter (1996), Marvel Super Heroes vs Street Fighter (1997), Marvel vs Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes (1998), and Marvel vs Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000).

Make sure you get in line early as it’s first-come, first-served. Doors are at 8PM.

MVC3 Fight Club Los Angeles
Where: Club 740, Downtown LA (click for map)
When: Thurs, Feb 3 (8PM - 11PM)
Why: Because!

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Square Enix is still in business, regardless of the bankruptcy talk and a 13 billion dollar over estimate on their earnings. Final Fantasy Versus XIII and XIII-2 coming soon. Official announcements and random YouTube videos, but no official release dates.

Gameplay videos and a press conference semi-confirm that Square Enix is still hard at work on trying to maintain the honor of the Final Fantasy franchise. The story originated from the Sony Blog. The official Square Enix American website has no official press release. The American FF13-2 site says "Coming Next Winter." Then there is the preview on YouTube, posted by some random Jimmy who just opened an account TODAY. This is all coming after a press event early this morning in Japan with Square Enix. 

Until there is an OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE, I don't think there's anything to be excited about. Perhaps Square Enix should focus on fixing their broken games and getting the games currently on the slate, released. Like Deus EX Human Revolution, does anyone think this game is going to make it's next release date? My money is on the NO. Mindjack just came out today, you still don't even know what this is, do you? Final Fantasy XIV on the PS3? lol.

Final Fantasy XIII-2

Roman numerals get numbered sequels. I love the Japanese. There is no information about the Final Fantasy XIII-2. Unless you count this as news "FINAL FANTASY XIII-2, is coming next winter. We have a new story in store that stems from the previous title, a battle system that is evolved from “XIII”" Coming next winter? That's great, let me go add that to the catalog right now. New battle system and story? That's what you[Square Enix] announced last January, when they first started to talk about FF13-2. Final Fantasy XIII-2 will not be playable at E3, I'll be surprised if anything other than a trailer is shown. Speaking of video, below is the video posted on YouTube by the random Jimmy. It's not gonna be up there forever.

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Haven't you heard ... it's the Halo RPG you've been waiting for.

Well not exactly an RPG, but you get EXP which is now called Credits (cR for short? Reh-tard for long.) Anyway you get credits now for multiplayer and playing the campaign. Is the campaign going to be that different each time you play through? I can't imagine going through any campaign more than three times, unless you are the Original Jimmy.

halo reach armor customization

News also came out today about the armor customization. When I first saw the trailer for the Halo Reach multiplayer I was guessing that different combinations of armor would give you different abilities that would act like "equipment" from Halo 3. I am incorrect. The armor customization doesn't do anything in Halo Reach except change your appearance. This is for all the Jimmys that needed the  Recon armor bullshit. I don't care what the armor looks like, I use an Elite in Halo 3. Jimmy!

Bungie says this is a way for everyone to play a lot or a little and get the same experience. So next time you look at a players Spartan you will be able to tell his play style. I can't wait to see what the Raipist looks like.

Click here for the original story

Read more @ Bungie.net

Watch a video of 2 Jimmys talking about this

The Halo Reach Beta begins on May 3rd and you need Halo 3 ODST to play it.

Halo 3 ODST box art

Halo 3: ODST

Don't miss out on the first ever Gouki.com Halo Reach montage filming this May! 

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Jimmy of the Month and Loot the Store Winner

By: goukijones Jan 27, 2011 | 19 Comments

Like we said, all you have to do is be on the top ten list from the last 30 days and we will select one person at random to loot our store. And the winner is

Before we talk about who is going to be looting our store, we have a few other Jimmy Ass Awards I would like to hand out. Please accept below in the comments.

Best User Review:
http://gouki.com/Story/Details/mindjack-review

Most Viewed:
http://gouki.com/Story/Details/3ds-blow-out

Best Voter Upper:
http://gouki.com/profile/Arthvader

Most French/Canadian Ass Jimmy:
http://gouki.com/profile/de%20bad%20shot

Hottest Wife:
http://gouki.com/profile/Crimson%20Relic

Jimmy Ass Comment goes to shenwoopunch for the comment he left on this page:
http://gouki.com/store

Don't be a Jimmy Story of the Month:
http://gouki.com/Story/Details/mugen

Which brings us to the first ever winner of our loot the store monthly point challenge. Nobody has tried harder to be a part of the Goukimunity, nobody has posted the same story, nobody has left more nice comments ...

The winner is Kof2012!!!

Kof2012 has earned over 20 million points since he's joined and he is the fasted scoring person in the history of Gouki.com. Granted they were a bunch of Jimmy ass comments, but he has since then proved that he is just a Jimmy. Live everyone else.

Congratulations to you Jimmy! You can select any game or t-shirt from our store and we will send it to you for free. Just leave a comment below for which item you want and we will email you.

Don't be a Jimmy! Thank you to everyone for playing. The new month starts right now and new items will soon be added to the store.

Gameplay footage includes: Spider-Man smashing into a wall, stuck falling in the sky for 5 minutes, swinging from nothing and getting shot. Funny.

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