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BANNED: NSFW Porn Stars VS Video Games AEE 2011 w/ FnJimmy

By: goukijones Jan 13, 2011 | 22 Comments | Updated: Nov 27, 2011

FnJimmy and the Gouki.com seven footer Cinderkin attended the Adult Entertainment Expo over the weekend. Porn stars play video games too. And you can bet your pecker that some of these chicks will PWN you. Check out these 4 exclusive videos from AEE 2011.

Porn Stars VS Video Games AEE 2011 featuring FnJimmy

FnJimmy and Cinderkin command the show floor in this all out pwnfest of porn stars. Madison Ivy wants you to friend her on PSN, her Xbox RRD'd again. Bobbi Starr is a huge nerd and loves to play DnD, oh yea, believe it. The porn stars are liking the Kinect. Kristina Rose's wish list has Call of Duty: Black Ops and a bunch of Wii guns on it. A lot of Black Ops being played in the porn industry and Tori Black loves the zombie mode. There was one Street Fighter in the crowd, multiple AVN award winner Sophie Dee. Check out this exclusive up close and personal, porn star, video game, interview, special event. Don't be a Jimmy.

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Register online now @ tournaments.gouki.com

Doors open @6PM.  Tournament matches will begin @7PM.

Register online: http://tournaments.gouki.com/

PlayStation 4
2/3 Games - 3/5 for Grand Finals.
Stage Select is always random.
Loser of the game may make changes. Winner is locked.

Please bring a PS4 controller if you want to use a PS3 fightstick.  We have some, but it will help speed things up.

Casuals will be available on XB1 during the tournament & on PS4 after tournament matches have completed.

You can register right now online for $20 or $25 at the door the day of the tournament.  You can also register in person Tuesday 4/21 @ GameWorks during #FMIWT.  Ask for Tuck or BatRastered.

Review

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Demon’s Souls is Stupid’s Shits

By: goukijones Nov 3, 2009 | 21 Comments

You mean to tell me this game is not back and forth, back and forth, trial and error? You’re on drugs.

Day 1

I’ve read everything online about this game and how you are going to be either one way or the other about this game. You’re either gonna love it or hate it. I jumped in with an open mind and wanted to play this game. I did the character creation screen and with a hundred different faces to choose from and edit them all the way down the width of the chin is serious. I should have realized then this game is serious. The random face generator is pretty funny actually, especially if you just click the as a woman. I’ve never seen such ugly ass women in my life. Feminists have to be losing their minds over this. Then there’s a bar where you can change the face to manlier or more womanly … scary!

After I selected my class, Wanderer which is one of ten to choose from. I began the tutorial. All the fighting buttons are the triggers and easy to get used to. I kept getting the main action button confused with the heal button and the game would let me heal myself when I already have full health and waste a heal. This becomes a nightmare later on. (SPOILER) I died during the tutorial, oh wait I was supposed to.

I checked out the Nexus, which is the hub for weapons and storage and stuff, basically your home base. Once I figured out how to get out of there and fight the heat was on Jimmy! I get to the first world and I start climbing the steps and fighting demons. I died a few times and started to run low on heals. Then I realized it, I was dying, being sent back the ABSOLUTE beginning of the level all my heals were gone and all the souls I’ve collected. Frustration ensues. I got absolutely nowhere the first day.  

Day 2

So I started over so I could focus on saving all my heals and try to take my time with the game.  

Rei Puerto says “You have to take your time, slow and steady wins the race.”  

Yes, yes slow and steady ok. So I begin to take my time and kill enemies slowly and try to get through the game. I pick up a new sword, is it good, is it better than the one I have. I DON’T KNOW, the symbols for what the weapons and armor do are some encrypted hieroglyphic bullshit! I text Rei again and tell him I don’t know what the fuck is going on in this game.  

He replies “I’m going to send you a voice message so you can hear the passion in my voice.” A few seconds later I get a monotone voice mail. “Ok so the trick with Demon’s Souls is you have understand the mechanics.”  

Yes, yes! What the fuck are the mechanics?  

I played a little bit more after that, figured out how to repair my weapons and armor, since I was taking such a beating. I don’t think day 3 will happen anytime soon, because Dragon Age: Origins is released today.  

For some reason I couldn’t find this game at my local Best Buy, Toys R Us, Target, and nobody has this game. Maybe because somebody else knows people would be returning this shit on the regular. Now … If you are hardcore JRPG Jimmy you need to check this out. I know people are enjoying this game. I just don’t think this a game for me.

Sometimes I get drunk, play some old ass game and then try to write about it. Spelling might be correct, but grammar and subject matter has no bounds. Read with caution. Today's game - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Star Wars: Knight of the Old Republic

First of all, why is the screen square? And WTF is a black and white button? The initial character set up is streamlined perfectly and is lusting with excellent game design. I named my girl NubnubDaRere, that name sounds just like a Star Wars name, if you say it real fast. Then Combat is introduced right away, I choose melee style and solider class. It is my destiny to become the ultimate Jedi warrior. I WILL become a dual lightsaber master.

I skip through every conversation as fast as I can, consistently being as cruel and evil as possible. I keep my inventory list very tight, I know exactly what I have and what I need. Armor, lightsabers and all of my tech is maxed out constantly. I have the maximum amount of grenades(all types) with me at all times. And you fuckin' better believe my Medpacs are stacked up as well. I'm not talking about the Jimmy ass Medpacs either.

Does anyone know how to fix this square ass screen? The graphics are amazing still to this day. The game looks great and there's tons of detail throughout. The cut-scenes are all rendered in-game. Knights of the Old Republic is an industry changer and became bigger than the name of Star Wars itself. Something that eventually evolved into Mass Effect and hopefully one day The Old Republic MMO. If you have never played KOTOR, then you fucked up big time some where in your life.

Buy It!

Community Review

blazemanx

Review: Paper Mario The Thousand - Year Door

By: blazemanx Jun 20, 2011 | 5 Comments

Who knew something as thin as paper could be so epic!

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is the long awaited sequel to the original Paper Mario on the Nintendo 64 back in 2001. The original Paper Mario was released at the very end of the Nintendo 64's lifespan so not everyone had the chance to experience it. Paper Mario was an amazing game that sure lived up to the high expectations of Super Mario RPG fanatics. In 2003 Mario RPG fans were greeted with the superb Gameboy Advance RPG, Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. Then in late 2004 Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door was finally released. I can tell you that if you enjoyed any of the previous Mario RPG games in the slightest bit then Paper Mario 2 will be a joy ride for you from start to finish. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door achieves greatness on almost every level and is just a fun and engaging RPG.

Story:


Paper Mario The Thousand-Year Door has one of the best Mario game story lines I have seen to date. Generally as you know Mario games typically follow the path of Bowser kidnapping Princess Peach and it's up to Mario (and sometimes Luigi) to rescue her. However in 2003 Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga separated itself from this typical storyline proving that Mario games can indeed have a complex storyline. Paper Mario 2 took no trouble in following in Superstar Saga's footsteps. Creating it's own engaging storyline. It all starts out with Princess Peach who finds a magical treasure map, that leads to an extraordinary treasure. Sending the map to Mario he soon decides to gear up and head out in search of this treasure. Of course in typical Mario game fashion Peach is kidnapped but this time it wasn't Bowser. Following this event comes some pleasing humor involving Bowser being angry that someone other then him had the audacity to kidnap the Princess. Bower then sets off to stop Mario from getting the treasure and he decides he will also kidnap the Princess in the process. You eventually learn that a character named Grodus of the X-nauts is responsible for kidnapping the Princess. The story unfolds at a pleasing pace, and you will just be pleased throughout the entire experience. There is no doubt that Paper Mario is one of the best games I have ever played and arguably the best game on the Gamecube. Paper Mario 2 has so many memorable moments and humor and challenging puzzles that you will have a smile on your face the entire game. 

Gameplay:


Paper Mario 2 is overall just a really fun game. In many RPG's you can become overwhelmed with random encounters and become frustrated when trying to solve a puzzle or get somewhere. For anyone who is unfamiliar with a Mario related RPG, they do not have Random encounters, they do not exist. Instead the enemies are displayed on the level. A battle will occur depending on if you do one of the following: come into contact with the enemy, jump on enemy/hit them with your hammer, or your enemy uses an attack on you. If none of you attack each other a battle will commence regularly, with you attacking first. If you strike your opponent to initiate a battle you can get a first attack in before your real turn. If your opponent attacks you to initiate the battle your opponent will get an attack on you at the start before you can issue your commands.

During the game you will have partners who you will acquire and they will join your party. However you can only use 1 party member at a time therefore in battle you will have Mario and a party member. You can switched these party members during their turn or your turn, however this will sacrifice either Mario's turn or your partners turn when you switch. This can be countered with a quick switch badge that lets you change partners without using it as your turn. Mario and his partner will have HP, but they will change the same FP (flower points) FP is used to cast magic spells or use certain abilities. Mario's attacks consist of various jumping and hammer attacks, these attacks can be further improved by equipping various badges to gain new jumping and hammer techniques. Mario will also have the ability to use "Special Moves" which can be done using Star Power. Every time you recover a Crystal Star (the motivation for the games story) You will gain 1 extra point for Star Power. These special moves can turn even the most hopeless battle into your favor. Mario's partners will all have different special abilities, and each partner can be "upgraded" twice, gaining more HP and abilities each time. Each partner also has a specific move that can be used during the world to uncover secrets or help you progress through your adventure. For example the first ally you receive is named Goombella, and she will give you hints on how to get past the current area you are in. Your next partner, named Koops will help you by shooting out in his shell, which can be used to obtain items out o reach or hit switches at a certain time while you jump across the newly revealed area that only stays for a certain amount of time.

There is also a certain thing called "Action Commands" these are based on time. When you select the jump attack on an enemy you must press A right before landing on the enemy. This will do the following: Deal full damage to the enemy and give you star power from the audience. Yes, your battles take place in front of an audience. When you do a successful action command the audience will become pleased with you and even sometimes throw you power ups or coins. If you fail to properly execute an action command the following will happen: You will lose members of your audience, you will not gain star power and you will not deal full damage to your opponents.

Correctly executing action commands can severely aid you during your battles as you will have symbols that appear in the upper right corner of the screen. Say you accurately land 2 jump attacks and get 2 Mushroom cards. The next time you successfully land an action command you will start a roulette. If you score a Mushroom (3 mushroom cards) you will get a Bonus, which will completely restore you and your ally's HP in battle. There are many other different outcomes of the roulette. There is even one that will poison you and hurt you, but I only got this one time throughout the entire game and came close one other time, but it is nothing to worry about, and happens very rarely. (It depends on you, if you land the third poison mushroom on the roulette, then it is technically your fault that it happened.

During the game you will also collect badges, badges improve your abilities. Every time you level up you have the option to increase your HP by 5, your FP by 5 or your BP by 3. BP is Badge Points and each Badge will cost a certain amount of Badge points in order to be equipped, ranging from 1-6 (sometimes certain badges are 0). You can wear as many badges as you have Badge points for them. But you can easily un-equip badges to equip new ones.

You will also encounter black boxes throughout your journey that will "curse you" with a new ability, such as turning into a paper airplane, and you need to fly to wherever your trying to go. You will gain many other abilities, but I will let you figure out what they are on your own.

One of my favorite things about Paper Mario 2, is that similar to the first game you will control Peach in between each chapter learning more about the story. You will also control Bowser in between each chapter as he pursues Mario and tries to figure out just what the heck is going on. But don't worry, you will get many chances to do battle with Bowser, but remember that the main focus is not on him. 

Graphics:


The graphics in Paper Mario are a joy to look at. Everything looks nice and is detailed. Since Mario and all the characters in the game are 2D or you could even say "paper" since you use a lot of "papery qualities" to solve puzzles. The characters are 2D characters trapped in what appears to be a 3D world. However the game makes good use of the 3D-2D interaction. Mario interacts with the 3D environment using his clever 2D abilities in an extraordinary way. There is also many areas that are cleverly hidden in the trippy game world. Certain areas are hidden because for example some walls might look like a wall but they actually have an opening in them that you don't even realize they are there until half way through the game, and your just like "Wow, I didn't know that was there." Paper Mario 2 has some of the best 2D graphics around and the way they interact with the 3D environment is just really cool to see. The graphics also have a cartoony appearance to them, but it just adds to the pleasant feeling of the game. But don't be fooled, Paper Mario isn't all just about pretty things, it does have it's eerie looking places and cool looking places to. Paper Mario has a lot to offer that you wouldn't know about from first glance.

Sound:


The music Paper Mario is really good. Every tune fits the game perfectly, and I was never annoyed by a single sound in the game. Even the noises that Mario, Luigi, Peach and many other characters make you will not be annoyed by them at all. Everything from the battle music to the various tracks from each area everything is excellent and I never got sick of any of the tunes in the game. Everything here is top notch quality.

Length:


This is one long RPG. I completed my game in +40 hours (I think around 43) and that was not even everything in the game. I still have many side quests to complete and badges and recipes to discover. The first play through is worth the full price alone and the sides quests and privilege of playing the game again a second time through in the future is limitless. I can guarantee that Paper Mario The Thousand-Year Door will definitely be one of those games I will visit again. The single player game will keep you engrossed for hours and you will most likely be sad when the game is over. But thankfully after the credits you are given the option to save your game, then you can return to the town that acts as your hub to do everything you never did. The thing I like about it is after the conclusion and the games story comes to an end you take the boat back to Rogueport and the captain says something along the lines of "I don't know why your coming back here but whatever" And then you meet back up with your old party members and they warmly greet you. 

Final Verdict: BUY IT!

Paper Mario The Thousand-Year Door is an outstanding game and ranks right up with other classic RPG's in terms of quality, presentation and outstanding gameplay. Paper Mario 2 is a game that you should not miss for any reason other then if you detest Mario or RPG's. If you own a Gamecube don't wait any longer, go get this game now before it becomes one of those legendary games that becomes impossible to find, just like all the old favorites from the N64 and SNES days. It will happen eventually, so go get your copy now. Paper Mario is an astounding accomplishment, and just a joy to play for every minute of the experience .

So are you down with the paper plumber? Let us know and don't be a jimmy. 

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