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About: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (x)

This guy is 1 of the biggest Jimmys on Malboro.

 

Here's the deal. When I started Final Fantasy XIV 2.0 back in the beta, this Jimmy & I were in the same FC. I knew this guy was a hardcore crafter. I was too, but nobody really knew. The night I got all my crafts to 50, this nuab Hokuten was just a few hours behind me. When he had found out I beat him to 50, he never really spoke to me again since. He's just been a huge douche. Now I got some of his doucheyness on tape. You suck Hokuten. I'm the Master Crafter. Jimmy!

Review

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Final Fantasy XIV review for pc w/ Kevin VanOrd & Gametrailers

By: goukijones Oct 10, 2010 | 4 Comments | Updated: Apr 13, 2016

Is this game a waste of life more than any other game I've ever played. I think so. Plus Kevin VanOrd from Gamespot reads my mind. *UPDATED - Editor fucked up.

**UPDATED October 11, 2010**

I fucked up. Credit should go to Gametrailers.com for such an awesome review as well.

Here's what happened: BatRastered originally played the Gametrailers.com review for me while I listened from my computer. I ran over to watch every few seconds, but didn't pay close attention to the visuals. The other night when I wrote this story (possibly after a few drinks) I searched for Final Fantasy XIV review on youtube and came across the Kevin VanOrd video, I played the video in the background mostly just listening and Kevin pretty much says the same stuff. That's why I thought it was the same video.(And I had a few more at this point) I couldn't agree with both video anymore. Like I say below, if I wrote a review now it would be verbatim to these two videos. So check out the Gametrailers.com video review, the original PWN review of Final Fantasy XIV.

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FF14 The New Realm revealed. Really? It's still empty. It looks dreadful. Big sad face here still. Where's the update with the fun factor? When will that be added?

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News

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Final Fantasy XIV ver 2.05 patch notes

By: BatRastered Oct 15, 2013 | 1 Comments

A summary of what's changed with last night's patch.

Last quest for GC Promotion changed from AK to AV
Reduce ferry and airship fee now 120 gil
Increase number of server instances for AK and WP
Increase ToP gained from AK and WP, AK now 100
Increase ToM gained from WP, Garuda HM, Titan HM
Trash mobs in WP, AK, CM, Prae will drop some gils about 40-60 each
Change position of trash mobs in CM, WP
Increase number of Fleece drop mobs in CCH (dragonhead map)
Respawn rate of diremites increased in N. Shroud
Increase exp miner and botanist guildleves
Own debuff/buff will always be on the most left
Cannot create more than 8 characters per day per service account (prevent RMT stuff?)
Lots and lots of bug fixes (see full notes)

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Preview

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What do I want from E3 2010?

By: goukijones May 31, 2010 | 6 Comments

Don't be a Jimmy special edition of blithering and blathering. E3 2010 blog.

Let me say that this will be in no specific order. Let us get right into it. I want to play the reach multiplayer. I know the campaign will be fun so ... I'm sure it will be cool to play it at the show. Gears of War 3, not a Gears of War guy. I'm not a Call of Duty guy either. That's that for the shooters. I really want to see Brink from Bethesda. I'm not thrilled about the Fallout New Vegas which is made by a different developer this time, Obsidian Entertainment. The same Jimmys that are famous for making sequels to other great games.

In a season of its cars, Gran Turismo 5 is going to be Sony's showcase once again. Promising new and amazing brilliantly designed 3D environments. Wearing glasses are not man. You know what I mean Jimmy. What happened to Africa? Did it come out and I just don't know what I'm talking about? What the fuck was it about? Playing games now like Read Dead, I would love to drive around in a jeep in a living Africa and fuck around. Let be serious here. reipuerto mentions some ridiculous games. Little Big Planet 2, ok ... I know one Jimmy that has actually played that. Nothing about that shit is actually hard core. Maybe there is, I don't know I have never played it. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Marvel VS Capcom 3 is very exciting. I cannot wait to see this, I've heard the game is super fast. The graphics are real free flowing and the comic book look is really cool. Marvel VS Capcom 3 will be one at the top of the first to see list. Have another drink Jimmy. Heard.

Final Fantasy XIV is another game at the top of my first to see list. I want a release date. I want to see gameplay. I want to know how frickin' much a month I'm going to get raiped on my bank account to sit in the middle of the town peddling kluptac wolf hides and firestick buns for 20gil each.

The Metroid is the only game I truly interested in seeing and playing. Because I am concered about the gameplay Jimmy. I don't want to have to switch to fist person on-the-fly to fight bosses and stuuuufff. So I want to see how that plays. Epic Mickey if it does look interesting at the show this would move up on my list. I have played some good Disney games in the day. Kingdom Hearts is nubfarm.

Please how about an update on the Vitality Sensor. I'd love to have my Wii hooked up monitoring my vitals while I play Halo Reach or ModNation Racers. ModNation Racers has me screaming at the TV. I love it. Race me. C'mon Iwata what is up with the relaxation game. Here's my Thursday afternoons in early October ... I'm playing the Shit out of Halo Reach multiplayer. The Wii Vitality Sensor is hooked up to my left nipple because I realized while playing it doesn't work on my index finger. The new Wii-laxition game for the Vitality Sensor just game out and I got a great deal on it. Are you following me?

Seriously I'm done with moving with games. A steering wheel might be cool, might be. Natal, no thanks. Sony with Move. LOL. My Uncle Jack Tretton is going to bring it hard at the Press Conference and I can't wait to see what happens. Jack Trenton is not dead.

Star Wars The Old Republic looks to me like it's going to be lacking in graphics. I need to see it in person. Star Wars The Force Unleashed 2, is it made by the same Jimmys? I need to see it in person. Batman Arkham Asylum 2, yes yes. Of course I want to play that game. Nobody knows anything about it right now. No need to rush it. Fable umpteen, I am a fable fan and I will play this game. Crysis 2 is the new Halo killer. Crysis 2? You have to be asking yourself why haven't you heard of Crysis 1, if Crysis 2 is going to be a Halo killer.

Surprise Zelda is still lame. That's going to be a shock for a lot of people. Killzone 3 is good! No not really. Sorry. Pokemon Battle dome Import any pokemon from the last two DS titles and watch them battle it out in 3D on the Wii. Like the old Battle Stadium for the, what system was that the Gamecube? Never mind. The Natal actually lets you import your actual nasty random Jimmy grill and paste it on to your avatar. Or finally put my real face on my multiplayer only Rainbow Six Vegas 4 guy. Thanks.

I'm very excited about E3 2010. I'm tired right now, it's 1 am June 1st, 2010. I agree with BatRastered, the game I want to see most is a game I don't know about. I'm gonna have one more drink. Don't forget about actually being on the E3 show floor. Who will have the best game of the show, or best booth, best schwag, hottest booth babe? I guess that pretty much sums it up.

*I have not read of this at this point. I posted it anyway. Jimmy! I reserve the right to add or edit anything in this story. I'm sure there is something I forgot to say. Something that I REALLYU want to say ...

Dont' be a Jimmy ...

Every Wednesday night 7PT I stream our weekly serious shot inside coil. We're getting close to downing turn 6 finally. Here is the very end of last nights run. Finally... third phase ... Something just rails me & I'm dead ... well now you can watch the video & learn about SWARM.

While in some random fate party the other day the leader was saying Odin just popped somewhere in the Shroud & he was gonna warp us. Here's what happened.

First of all you know when Odin is up in the Shroud. I think it's Central Shroud. Anyway ... there's these little white bubbles, almost like snowflakes are falling from the sky. I don't know if he always pops in the same exact spot, but he was close to Haukke Manor when I found him. I thot I was the first person there, but there was already to Jimmys laid out in front. Got whacked!

As you can see, I'm all up in his grill, but I'm not getting off my bird just yet. I gotta wait for some more Jimmys to show up. I was only level 42 or 43, so I was just there to watch. 

I got involved eventually. Only throwing my axe from a distance tho. Odin does multiple AOE with huge range, so it was safe for me to be close to him. Plus he spawned in a very dangerous area. Giant puke plants were all over the place & there's a big FATE for 1 of thoses guys that spawns right there as well. So Jimmys were fighting Odin while trying to fight off the Malboro's as well. 

Look out JImmy!

The fight turns into a blur all you can see is Dragoons jumping up in the air & the random red circle for Odin's AOE. If you go to watch like me, you can get involved, just keep your distance. The fight lasts about 10-15 minutes & I only got like 1100 XP, BUT I can now say I saw Odin & I was in a party that beat him. Get railed! 

Thanks for reading.

Blog

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Podcast night 96 preview

By: BatRastered Sep 13, 2013 | 0 Comments | Updated: Sep 16, 2013

Should be a short one tonight and late...

The rundown

Podcast #96 Sep 13, 2013
Intro
FFXIV
PSVita TV
CoD machine guns in space vs dog taking down copter, which is more ridiculous?
Outro

Should be live on the internet around 11pm tonight. MP3 will be up tomorrow morning as usual.

I'm taking all crafts to level 50 as fast as possible. Here's some early tips for a young carpenter.

The crafting is super easy in FFXIV. I still haven't even had to look/buy any crystals. I imagine time for that is just around the corner. As of today tho ... I have ALL crafts over level 24. GSM 29. CUL 27. WVR 25. I have over $175,000 gil. At least $100k on the Market Boards. Yeah I'm gonna be rich boiiiii. Wanna see how I made a quick couple of grand with Walnut Logs while leveling up my Carpenter.

Check out my story on Goldsmith Leveling Guide for a more detailed look at my strategy. 

Join the Gouki LS on Malboro server.

Check out all of our Gouki Linkshell Guides.

Follow me on Twitter @goukijones

Watch me on Gouki.tv

Check my out on the Lodestone.

Thanks for watching. 

Blog

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2010 video games I want blog

By: goukijones Jan 3, 2010 | 9 Comments

Here's a list of video games I want and don't want to play in 2010. It's going to be an amazing year. Number 1 in the world baby King of Jimmys!

Mass Effect 2 Its so close I can't believe it. I love Mass Effect 1. The guns the music the flying the ship through the space and being a fuckin' asshole to everyone in the galaxy. Can't wait to play part 2! Mass Effect 2 giveaway

Bioshock 2 is right behind ME2. If you got vacation days coming, use them! Fuck the multiplayer Jimmy whining about multiplayer suck. Bioshock was so much fun just by itself. I will play the multiplayer though, carrying the kicking and screaming little sister around as "the flag" is cool and looks awesome.

Final Fantasy XIII Fuck yeah Jimmy. I loved XII. I spent more than 365 total days in real life playing Final Fantasy XI and that's just ridiculous. So I will at least try XIII. XIV?!? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. A new online Final Fantasy will come out this year too. I'm done with everything.

ModNation Racers I'm playing with the Beta now and absolutely loving it. It's a kart racer with the exact same controls of Mario Kart 64. Every race gives you that same exact feeling of fast-paced close finishes racing. Oh yeah!

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This here rack o'nuabs discuss when the FFXIV servers will break. These idiots have know idea what they are talking about. Plus other news, like Gamescom. Uplay & Splinter Cell. FnJimmy is dumb.

So yeah, not even close with the servers crashing problem. They went down first 8AM on Saturday & again at 1:30PM. The Duty Finder has completely crashed & players can't finish quests or enter dungeons. They have a fix they say & I assume that's what they are doing now with this server downtime. 

Thanks for watching. 

Square Enix still hasn't told us the official release date for the next phase of the beta or when the early access will begin. They have released a video of all the dungeon intros. Same stuff from the beta, so some of you have played this already.

The dungeons are good. They are matchmade across all servers. There is no waiting. If you want to do a dungeon, you will get to do it. It's called Duty Finder, Google dat. I will be on the Final Fantasy XIV. I will be streaming. I will be on Malboro, join up with the Gouki LS. I will be rolling with TAW gaming for raids. Don't be a Jimmy!

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