deus ex

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Finally something on the horizon I can look forward to. Just don't let random idiots design your boss fights.

For those of you who never played the last Deus Ex, the boss fights went like this...

or even better...

Read full story...

When this was revealed to me last week, I did not believe. I went and tried it immediately and guess what .. its real. Watch as I beat Jaron Namir in world record time playing Deus Ex Human Revolution.

Deus Ex Human Revolution World Record Speed Run 3rd Boss Fight Jaron Namir

Shoutout to Cinderkin for originally posting: Deus Ex 3rd Boss One Punch Knockout!

Vote, Comment, Share. Don't be a Jimmy! Is anybody else on Gouki playing this game, besides FnJimmy? I want to know. I want to read your review. Top 5 of the year for me. Bold!


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Deus Ex Human Revolution Review and Exclusive LOL videos

By: goukijones Sep 8, 2011 | 3 Comments | Updated: Sep 8, 2011

Deus Ex Human Revolution is the most ambitious game I have played in years. Action/Stealth RPS at it's finest. Ever thought of a verbal boss fights? Tons of replayability and tons of laughs. Read my exclusive thoughts on DXHR and check out 5 lol videos.

I figure I better start to write about Deus Ex. This is my review. I’d rather just show you videos of the AI though. I’m playing it on “Give Me Deus Ex” which is the hardest difficulty setting. I have been completely surrounded by enemies, they’ve held their guns right over my head as I hid behind a short couch. The classic GoukiJones Freeze technique works like a charm in this game. As soon as you are spotted, just hide behind the closet corner or wall. This is as simple as pressing the left trigger. They’ll never find you and in a matter of minutes, they go back about their business. Fuck me, one time I shot a guard dead in front of another guy from behind cover, the guy watching turned around and walked away after a few minutes. “I guess it was nothing.” The guard says. “I’ll have to keep my eyes open.” The entire time I’m crouched behind the same exact wall I originally shot from. Nubfarm.

Pro-tip: Save your money and always buy the Praxis from the LIMB store. Their 5K each, you can get 2 each time you visit a city and 1 in the final level. The only other thing I would say to buy is the hacking worms and nukes. Oh and frag grenades raip bosses and killing bosses is okay, even if you’re going after the pacifist. So buy frags. Grenades FTW!

I beat the Deus Ex on hard in less than 24 hours. Not continuously of course. I must say, it has to have the worst endings I’ve seen this year and I’ve beat some crap games this year. Four very similar videos play for each ending with a voice over from Adam Jensen. The videos show starving children, blooming flowers, people at work, city skylines … it didn’t make any sense. Just stock footage of nonsense. Adam Jensen is just talking gibberish with an attitude toward which ever ending you choose. Pretty sad and not in any sort of entertaining way. Jimmy ass!

You definitely should give DXHR a try, you might like it, you might not. The sneaking around is like Splinter Cell, but shooting mechanics in the game are really bad. Just get close enough with the shotgun or the stungun and you’ll be fine, blind fire from a corner works like a charm. Although, I’d recommend just sneaking pass every single Jimmy possible. They have no idea you’re even there and as soon as their line of sight turns away, you can crouch right next to them and they'll never even know. Oh dear I’m rambling about the AI again.

The graphics in DXHR are decent, it’s hindered by the stupid stuff that the AI does. Like if you scare a bunch of people around you, they just hunch over like scared little rabbits. Jump off a rooftop and stun a group of civilian Jimmys and the just stiffly fall over. The world isn’t living and breathing like a RDR or even Mass Effect, which has a similar system of characters just standing around creating atmosphere. Of course you can’t just pull your gun out and shoot random Jimmys on the citadel. The city designs are cool and you visit 4 different locations, 2 of them twice. The problem with the cities is that it still feels like you’re in a box. Deus Ex HR2 needs more life in the citizens and more openness to the city hubs. How about that bike in Pritchard's office?

Did you know a few hubs were scratched because somebody didn’t want the game delayed. Wait so you had your team conceptualize and get halfway done with even more content, to make this game even bigger and you said, never mind, lets ship it now. I expect some DLC hubs at this rate, especially if they were half way done. More of Montreal and India even. Cool.

Sound and visual effects in the game lead me to my same take, this game is going to be way better as a sequel and I can’t wait to play it. Concussion grenades, giant robots, Jensen jumping off high structures and doing the whole Iccarus landing system thing … all very cool. The voice acting on the other hand is insulting to all human beings around the world.

It doesn’t make sense to me in that, a hillbilly redneck, a Chinaman(That only speaks Chinese) and a black guy that sounds like Samuel L. Jackson are all hanging out together in this future China, protecting some Chinese Triad Jimmy in a parking garage basement. Did I mention the reference to Mexican town early in the game? Mexican town? Really?

As far as the story goes for DXHR, I don’t care too much. If you know my play style, I’m usually too eager to get back into the action and mostly skip all the talking. I’ll find out where I have to go and what I need to do, in the mission log. I can read Jimmy. DXHR has 3 different types of talking scenes. There are the verbal boss fights where you have to talk them into something and you can fail or get reward with a [Silver Tongue 1000] EXP. You can't skip any of those scenes at any point and their like 7-8 minutes long. Zzzzzz.  Cut scene and cinematics = start button and then A to Skip, heard. Then there is just regular chatting that you can blaze through Dragon Age style and just respond. Here’s a great example of me playing the story. You also get to see the invincibility frames that Adam Jensen seems to have in a lot of his moves.

Buy it! I played through Deus Ex Human Revolution 3 times and I want to go again. Apparently I set an alarm off somewhere during my last run and that really pisses me teh fuck off Jimmy! I got a ton of videos. I’m totally hyped about the DLC and sequel. When I saw this game at E3 it made me laugh and it still made me laugh while playing it. Leveling up Adam Jensen and sneaking around the entire game is a blast. Don’t be a Jimmy!

The PricePWNr is promising 23.4% savings on Deus Ex Human Revolution at the time this article is being posted. And that’s a deal Jimmy. Stolen!


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Onlive expands it's library with Square Enix

By: reipuerto Mar 1, 2011 | 6 Comments

OnLive gets some popular Square Enix Titles!

Palo Alto, Calif., March 1, 2011—OnLive, Inc., the pioneer of on-demand, instant-play video games, today announced the addition of more than a dozen top-tier Square Enix games to its PlayPack monthly subscription plan, including previously released titles from major franchises such as Tomb Raider™, Deus Ex™, Thief™, Mini Ninjas™ and Hitman™. The Square Enix titles will begin arriving in the OnLive PlayPack service in a few weeks. OnLive’s continuously growing library of PlayPack games provide an "all-you-can-play" option for subscribers for only $9.99/month—allowing them to play instantly on TVs via the OnLive Game System and on virtually any PC or Mac® via a small browser download.
"OnLive’s PlayPack has been a huge hit with our members since launch. With the addition of these classic and highly popular game titles from Square Enix, OnLive PlayPack members will further enjoy a rich and cost-effective gaming experience," said Steve Perlman, founder and CEO of OnLive. "We’re proud of our strong partnership with Square Enix and we look forward to providing a solid and effective platform for their current and future game titles."
The new PlayPack titles from Square Enix have earned significant acclaim within the gaming world and among mainstream consumers. The Deus Ex franchise has historically claimed numerous "Game of the Year" honors and was recently reaffirmed as the top PC game of all time by PC Gamer. Hitman has been the world’s favorite assassin both on the large and small screen for years and Tomb Raider remains one of the most popular and recognizable game franchises of all time and has inspired films, books and a generation of video games.
"The unlimited value our subscribers are currently realizing from PlayPack is translating into hundreds of hours of rich gameplay, and this experience will continue to evolve as we add more great titles like these," said John Spinale, OnLive VP of Games and Media. "With the announcement of our extended partnership with Square Enix today, we are delighted to introduce a wealth of great game titles while reiterating our commitment to continually evolve the PlayPack game library."
Square Enix is a leading provider of digital entertainment with numerous million-selling, beloved video game titles and offices around the world.
"In the dynamically changing environment of digital distribution, it’s a natural fit for Square Enix to support an innovative offering like PlayPack from OnLive, " said Phil Rogers, CEO of Square Enix Europe. "We’re pleased to be able to share some of our classic games with the broader digital audience."
For detailed information about OnLive PlayPack and a full list of available games, visit

Will you be onlive Jimmy!?

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