Frequently Asked Questions about Gouki.com. You should read this before using the site. Ask questions below.
Q: How do I write a story on Gouki.com?
A: Rule number 1: Don't be a Jimmy - Don't write a story with a title people won't understand. Don't write a story that starts with a bullet point and ends with a comma. When you write a story on Gouki.com it must be about video games. Otherwise BatRastered is going to be quick to delete it. Video game stories can be about anything though. Your story must be tagged with one of the following:
Blog. Fuck it. Blog it, write about whatever you want, however you want. As long as it's video game related.
Review. Write a review that follows our rating system. It's real easy. Reviews can be for hardware or software, new releases or old ass games, including demos and beta tests.
Preview. You can post a video with a short description of a game. You could also write a story about a recent press release. These stories work best with a source attached. Remember BatRastered is watching.
News. We most certainly encourage our readers to post the news, but what we want to hear are your versions of it, your opinions. So don't just post a press release cut and paste job. Explain why you are interested in this game and why you want to share your interests with Gouki.com readers.
Q: How do I link my story to the Gouki.com video game catalog?
A: This is how our "Trending" list works. At the bottom of every new story you write, you are asked "Which catalog item is this story most about?" This also works just like the tags do. Type in the first few letters of the game and the cataloged item will automatically pop up. Didn't work for you? Double check the catalog. Now you know for sure the game you are writing about isn't in the Gouki.com video game catalog ... Leave a comment on this story and we will add it.
Q: What's up with the Gouki.com review rating system?
A: Stars are bullshit, so is the 10 point scale. You want to explain the difference between an 8.0 and an 8.5 to me? Fuck. Here's how we roll:
Flush it - Don't even waste your money. Just forget everything you have ever thought about said game. Move onto something else. [Carckdown 2 review]
Rent it - This is the middle ground. An individual may LOVE said game, but said game may not be for everyone. So maybe give it a rent, before somebody else spends their hard earned money.
Buy it - Well this one can't be anymore obvious. You are recommending said game to everyone and that said game is a MUST buy no matter what. [Demon's Souls]
Most importantly Don't be a Jimmy. [FNJimmy reviews] Base your reviews on actually paying for the game. It's an expensive world to be a hardcore gamer with great stuff coming out weekly. Yes you can write a review about a demo of a full game.[Brutal Legend review] That's what a demo is for. You can simple give it a final rating of Flush it or Buy it. If you love a game and are sure that your friend would too, would you tell him to go buy it? Nope, tell him to rent it and try it out first? Most of the time after you rent or demo a game, you will know whether to Flush it or Buy it. Thanks for posting reviews.
That's all you really need to know from a review anyway isn't it?
Q: WTF is a Jimmy? The term Jimmy can be used in many different ways.
A: Mostly to get the attention of my best friend. FnJimmy!
Gouki.com's Jimmy Dictionary
"What up Jimmy?" Friendly greeting.
"A Big Jimmy." A really good friend.
"Don't be a Jimmy." Similar to Don't be a n00b.
"Fuckin' Jimmy!" Jimmy has done something amazing.
"Jimmy." Something Stupid. Peter Molyneux. Brother. Friend. Other terms of endearment.
"Jimmyfied" Something that is broken or has been messed up.
"Jimmy ass game." A game that FNJimmy would most certainly play. But GoukiJones would not. Like Metal Gear Solid 4. Still in the shrink wrap.
"Jimmy ass XXXXX." You can put anything else in there, a person, a place or other subjects. For example I will not eat at the Olive Garden, that is a Jimmy ass restaurant.
"Jimah!" Pronounced "JI-MAH!!" Expresses excitement.
"Pick-up Jimmy." Random matchmaking teammate.
For more information check out FNJimmy.
Q: How do I change my avatar Jimmy?
A: Go to gravatar and upload an avatar.
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