Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

I didn't like Uncharted 2, and here's why.

I have a PS3 and not many games for it. I heard Uncharted 2 had pretty good critical reception, so I figured "if a lot of other people like it, maybe I will like it too!". I ended up getting Uncharted 2, and I got really bored of it.

First off, I never really found the Indiana Jones movies that entertaining. I mean, the concept of them is pretty entertaining but I don't like the actual movies very much. This game is sort of like Indiana Jones. Well, it's also mixed with National Treasure (a movie I like), but doesn't have that same heart warming Nick Cage feel.

This game is said to be like Tomb Raider. I wouldn't necessarily know since I've never played a Tomb Raider for more than 10 minutes, but Nathan is far less attractive to me than Lara.

However, the hot girl of this game, Chloe Frazer, is super hot. I mean, damn. I don't think I've ever found a video game character more appealing. And that voice too. And that British accent. And that body. And that attitude. Mmm. 

Anyways, after "playing with the sixaxis function", the gameplay comes in. It's a hide-behind-coverfire-throw-grenades-or-melee-them kind of game with "platforming". The reason platforming is in quotes is that it's not true platforming. True platforming needs timing, precision, caution, and fluidity. Uncharted 2 has choose-a-direction+jump and Drake does everything by himself. The only real challenge with the platforming is figuring out which crumbled rock you can and can't jump on, but if you spin the analog and mash jump, he'll find it for you.

After long platforming segments, you get to the combat. The combat is almost like WW1 trench warfare. You just sit there and wait and shoot millions of bad guys. There are just so many guys! It's not like the game even promotes stealthiness either.

So you do an hour of mind numbing combat and half an hour of fake platforming, and it repeats.

However, the graphics, voice acting, and presentation for this game are really great. It really does feel like a movie, and some of the gameplay parts are things you'd see in an intense action movie. I'm not saying this game was done poorly, just that I simply don't like it.

A brand new editorial from yours truly: should we be tired of sequels?

I have a confession to make, if you don't mind: I'm tired of sequels.  I've played a handful of them from this generation; even when the overall quality of the game is shining (Uncharted 2, for instance), I hate the sense of deja vu that I experience.  And it doesn't help that it seems like half the games that come out anymore end with a number.

I mentioned Uncharted 2, so let's start there.  Is it an improvement over the original?  Most certainly; I think that's a fair assessment.  And while I did notice those improvements when I was playing, it hardly seemed to matter much in the end.  By the end of the first one, I was pretty tired of Nathan "Cocksucking" Drake's adventures (yes, I hate Nathan Drake as a character!).  I wasn't very far into Uncharted 2 before I could barely take it anymore.  If I hadn't spent $40 on the game and felt obligated to continue, I would have quit then and there.

Now let's look at Mass Effect 2.  Again, there were great improvements made over the first Mass Effect - although admittedly, the first Mass Effect was much superior to the first Uncharted.  The problem was that I felt like I could have popped in the first Mass Effect and gotten such a similar experience that it was hardly exciting.  In fact, at one point I did start playing the first one, and I barely skipped a beat.  And for the record, Shepherd wasn't much more interesting than Nathan Drake, so as far as I'm concerned they can both go take a flying leap together.

I think I'm starting to see the problem here: video game characters aren't typically interesting enough to span out multiple stories and remain interesting.  Maybe that's why I beat Fable 2 with a smile and groaned my way through Uncharted 2, even though Fable 2 was a vastly inferior game.

And what about the gameplay?  Do the gameplay "evolutions" amount to all that much?  Did Bioware's changes make Mass Effect 2 feel like much more than the first one?  I didn't think so.  Mass Effect 1 was fresh; Mass Effect 2 was polished but basically more of the same.  I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a bit concerned that we're willing to wait two years and pay full price again for refinements that really should have been there in the first place.  Oh yeah, and you're also getting a sloppy-seconds story too.  I guess there's that much.

So what would I have you do?  Would I have you give the industry the finger until they decide to stop rehashing?  No, not at all.  What I would like is for gamers to demand higher-quality the first time around; I would like the gaming community to care about quality instead of what the hype machine is putting out.

Maybe if we do that, crappy refinement sequels will be weeded out, and we can be left with the sequels that really matter - and all that extra downtime would let developers give us new experiences.  Talk about your win-win.

From E3 2009. The Jimmy in the Sony booth was absolutely no help.

June 19, 2009

I played this @ E3 2009 and the Sony Nuab in the booth, who's supposed to be helping me with the game is standing next to me texting on the phone. Meanwhile it takes me half the time of the demo to get my buttons set right. The game was like any other FPS Shooter game. The multiplayer here is something that the Sony fan boys cried for after the first Uncharted came out and let me stop right there ... NOT EVERY GAME THAT COMES OUT NEEDS A MULTIPLAYER. WTF? This is a waste of time. The same time I was playing this garbage demo on the other side of the wall, there was a rack 8 of nuabs playing MAG. That's a multiplayer game that does some shit like 200+ vs 200+ ridiculous.

Uncharted 2 Among Thieves Multiplayer is unnecessary and not needed. Piss off!