Demon’s Souls is Stupid’s Shits

By goukijones — November 3, 2009
Tags: atlus difficulty-hard ps3-exclusive review rpg

You mean to tell me this game is not back and forth, back and forth, trial and error? You’re on drugs.

Day 1

I’ve read everything online about this game and how you are going to be either one way or the other about this game. You’re either gonna love it or hate it. I jumped in with an open mind and wanted to play this game. I did the character creation screen and with a hundred different faces to choose from and edit them all the way down the width of the chin is serious. I should have realized then this game is serious. The random face generator is pretty funny actually, especially if you just click the as a woman. I’ve never seen such ugly ass women in my life. Feminists have to be losing their minds over this. Then there’s a bar where you can change the face to manlier or more womanly … scary!

After I selected my class, Wanderer which is one of ten to choose from. I began the tutorial. All the fighting buttons are the triggers and easy to get used to. I kept getting the main action button confused with the heal button and the game would let me heal myself when I already have full health and waste a heal. This becomes a nightmare later on. (SPOILER) I died during the tutorial, oh wait I was supposed to.

I checked out the Nexus, which is the hub for weapons and storage and stuff, basically your home base. Once I figured out how to get out of there and fight the heat was on Jimmy! I get to the first world and I start climbing the steps and fighting demons. I died a few times and started to run low on heals. Then I realized it, I was dying, being sent back the ABSOLUTE beginning of the level all my heals were gone and all the souls I’ve collected. Frustration ensues. I got absolutely nowhere the first day.

Day 2

So I started over so I could focus on saving all my heals and try to take my time with the game.

Rei Puerto says “You have to take your time, slow and steady wins the race.”

Yes, yes slow and steady ok. So I begin to take my time and kill enemies slowly and try to get through the game. I pick up a new sword, is it good, is it better than the one I have. I DON’T KNOW, the symbols for what the weapons and armor do are some encrypted hieroglyphic bullshit! I text Rei again and tell him I don’t know what the fuck is going on in this game.

He replies “I’m going to send you a voice message so you can hear the passion in my voice.” A few seconds later I get a monotone voice mail. “Ok so the trick with Demon’s Souls is you have understand the mechanics.”

Yes, yes! What the fuck are the mechanics?

I played a little bit more after that, figured out how to repair my weapons and armor, since I was taking such a beating. I don’t think day 3 will happen anytime soon, because Dragon Age: Origins is released today.

For some reason I couldn’t find this game at my local Best Buy, Toys R Us, Target, and nobody has this game. Maybe because somebody else knows people would be returning this shit on the regular. Now … If you are hardcore JRPG Jimmy you need to check this out. I know people are enjoying this game. I just don’t think this a game for me.

Demon's Souls

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3 Stories

Release Date: Oct 6, 2009

Buy it! 50% - Rent it! 30% - Flush it! 20%

Comments

Wait are you complaining this game is too slow and yet you were playing Final Fantasy 11 which takes 32 years until you can beat a fucking wild rabbit?

choke has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 3, 2009 by choke

LMAOO! Choke has some good points, as do you Gouki(Jimmy), but the game just wants you to learn about strategic gameplay, ie; when to attack and roll.
You just can't spam attacks and hope to get away. The tension is what makes it great. For every enemy killed and moment in an new area, or just the same, is a feat on to its own. Killin a boss is on par with beatin an entire game.

reipuerto has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 3, 2009 by reipuerto

lol @ the negative 1 vote Jimmys.

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Nov 3, 2009 by goukijones

ok....i gave this shit a shot at my homies house.....rpg is my least favorite genre...it takes an exceptional one to get my gameplay time...and jimmy this ain't it.....im a marine for crying out loud! im all about strategy and playing yada yada yada...but this game is just weird bro...!

bmorenmiami has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 4, 2009 by bmorenmiami

Rei puerto plays the stupids shits but he'll actually convince you to get it. Good job.

Frankthetank has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 4, 2009 by Frankthetank

i hate all these stupid ass games!!! if rey plays it i usually stay away from it SMH

hoho23 has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 4, 2009 by hoho23

LMAOO!!
Hey @Frankthetank Didn't I play Lost Odyssey from you?
@Hoho23 Didn't I buy 75% of my games from you?
XDD
Sure! You guys are right!

reipuerto has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 10, 2009 by reipuerto

*play=buy*

reipuerto has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Nov 10, 2009 by reipuerto

I don't even know where to start with how idiotic you must be if you retired Demon's Souls after less than 2 days of gameplay, so I suppose I'll just go in order.

"I died during the tutorial, oh wait I was supposed to."
-Story development, smarts. How else were you supposed to get to The Nexus? It's not the kind of place one just stumbles upon in their travels. It also prepares you somewhat for the multitude of deaths to come.

"Then I realized it, I was dying, being sent back the ABSOLUTE beginning of the level all my heals were gone and all the souls I’ve collected. Frustration ensues."
-That's pretty much the point of Demon's Souls. You get raped, you try again, you get raped harder. It's the hardest game since the original Ninja Gaiden, no difficulty settings, no handicaps, none of that. You're just playing the game, and that's all there is to it. Which makes the game so much more rewarding when you're done, you feel so good about yourself.

".. the symbols for what the weapons and armor do are some encrypted hieroglyphic bullshit!"
-It helps to read about games before you play them, it generally makes things easier. ;)

"What the fuck are the mechanics?"
- .. really? Demon's Souls has some of the best if not the absolute best mechanics of any JRPG in the past decade. And they use ACTUAL PHYSICS to determine damage (For instance, you do more damage if your enemy is running/jumping at you). Not to mention one of the most innovative multiplayer mechanics of all time.

"For some reason I couldn’t find this game at my local Best Buy, Toys R Us, Target, and nobody has this game. Maybe because somebody else knows people would be returning this shit on the regular."
-Or maybe you didn't find it because it was a small game, it didn't steal the show at E3 or anything like that, no big marketing campaign and whatnot, and it STILL got Gamespot's Overall Game of the Year. How? Pure product. Demon's Souls goes to show that you don't need hype if you make amazing products, they speak for themselves.

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 25, 2010 by Winterharte

Write your own review for Demon's Souls. http://gouki.com/

This is just, like, my opinion, man. And yes any game that I play for two days and really annoys the shit out of my like this did, I will retire it.

Demon's Souls, is not a game for me. I respect the fans that the game has. I know it's a good game. I just didn't like it.

Welcome to Gouki.com.

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Aug 25, 2010 by goukijones

Mmm.. sorry I wrote that at like 1 in the morning so I wasn't really thinking straight, I totally thought you were just hating on Demon's Souls altogether xD I kinda feel like a jackass now :D

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 25, 2010 by Winterharte

It's cool. That's why we made this website.

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Aug 25, 2010 by goukijones

Making people feel like jackasses? ... niceee.

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 25, 2010 by Winterharte

You know what I mean. Come on join the fun. Half the stories I've written on this site have been at 1 in the morning.

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Aug 25, 2010 by goukijones

I know, I just love giving people shit :D
And yeah I'm sure I'll do it eventually, but then again maybe not cause I'm insanely anal about what I write xD oh well, we shall see I suppose haha.

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 25, 2010 by Winterharte

To play this game or not to play this game.... depends on if I hook my PS3 up.

Cinderkin has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 27, 2010 by Cinderkin

I would highly recommend it, but only if you like a really good challenge and don't mind getting wtfpwned a lot.

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Aug 27, 2010 by Winterharte

If you haven't seen the speed run, it is amazing.

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Oct 19, 2010 by goukijones

Just watched it, that man is one glorious bastard. XD

Winterharte has not rated Demon's Souls yet.
Oct 19, 2010 by Winterharte

Check out this story about the speed run I wrote. You will love it. http://gouki.com/

goukijones rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Oct 20, 2010 by goukijones

I forgot all about this game. Every magazine review said the game was hard as shit expect to die a lot. So I said fuck it, I get killed enough on other games.

DragonKiss83 rated Demon's Souls Rent it
Feb 22, 2011 by DragonKiss83

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Demon’s Souls is Stupid’s Shits

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