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All gamers know that controllers break down and stop working after hours upon hours of usage, but what if I told you that there was a controller out there that could handle all of that AND it was one of a kind, made just for you? Well, there is....

 

Gamers across all platforms have come across an ongoing problem within our hobby: CONTROLLERS BREAKING. If you’re anything like me, you’ve gone through a few dozen controllers throughout your gaming career and are SICK OF IT. That’s a lot of money that could’ve been put towards new games and even my Xbox Live subscription! However, I’ve gotten my hands on my very own Xbox Design Lab controller that I think is the solution to our problems. I know most of you are thinking that The Lab is purely for cosmetic customization, which is what it’s supposed to be, BUT I’ve found out that they can be much more than that.

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Razer Onza hands-on CES 2011 with goukijones

By: goukijones Jan 10, 2011 | 10 Comments

Quick there's a scruffy white dude looking at the xbox controller, send out the cute little Asian girl. Heard. goukijones literally gets a hand all over experience with the new Razer Onza controller for Xbox 360.

Seriously, everything was completely professional. I did not care for this controller at all. I don't like cords and it comes with a 15 foot cord. sad face. There is no confirmed wireless version. The two extra shoulder buttons are programable and that is a cool idea. But they are too close togther. Maybe that would take some getting used to. I was also not impressed with the d-pad. Microsoft just created the twisty d-pad, which is great. The Razer Onza has another flat surface for the d-pad. Jimmy don't like that. The highlight of the controller is the adjustable thumbsticks. I really think that will make a huge differnce in any FPS experience. Hey yo, send me a wired one for free and then maybe I'll consider buying a wireless one.

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BatRastered

Next Xbox to be unveiled May 21st

By: BatRastered Apr 24, 2013 | 8 Comments

In less than a month we will finally know for sure what Microsoft has planned for the next Xbox.

From Major Nelson's blog:

On Tuesday May 21st, we’ll mark the beginning of a new generation of games, TV and entertainment. On that day, we’ll be holding a special press event on the Xbox campus and we invite you to join us via the live global stream that will be available on Xbox.com, Xbox LIVE and broadcast on Spike TV if you are in the US or Canada.

On that day, we’ll share our vision for Xbox, and give you a real taste of the future. Then, 19-days later at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in Los Angeles, we’ll continue the conversation and showcase our full lineup of blockbuster games.

We are thrilled to pull back the curtain and reveal what we’ve been working on.

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The Microsoft E3 2011 Press conference just wrapped up. How did it go? Here's what you need to know.

Another year, another Microsoft E3 press event. No Cirque du Soleil nonsense this year, just a straight up media briefing with tons of trailers and demos.

Here's a quick run down of what I saw.

The Good:

  • Gears of War 3 campaign looks as good as you'd expect. Plus Ice-T was on stage wearing a kick ass GoW3 shirt.
  • Mass Effect 3's Kinect enabled voice commands. Garrus, move up. Liara, use Singularity. Awesomesauce. Probably not enough to make me want a kinect, but cool.
  • Kinect easy avatar creation with fun labs (out now!) I've been waiting for this since avatars came out, I have a xbl vision camera gathering dust.

The Bad:

  • Starting off with MW3 and Tomb Raider was a bit weird. I don't know why the console makers feel the need to show off multi-platform games at their press conferences.
  • Halo: CE Anniversary, an HD remake of the first Halo game. Looks cool, but also looks like it's going to be a full price game. #ripoff
  • You're showing off Forza 4 with a Top Gear license... Where's the Stig? (For that matter where were any of the Top Gear crew?)

The Ugly:

  • Kinect football running in place.
  • Two words: FIST BUMP!
  • Fable the Journey Kinect game, waving your arms around like a Jimmy. I'd rather not.

An honorable mention must be made to the Halo 4 teaser and Tomb Raider for both being Fall 2012 games, meaning we'll see them at next year's E3 as well. #toosoon

Preview

reipuerto

E3 2010 Premature!

By: reipuerto May 29, 2010 | 1 Comments

Let’s start coming up!

With the Electronic Entertainment Expo, E3, right around the corner, let’s start speculating about what we’re going to hear about our favorite developers from the press conference.

Sony Now, if Sony lets Kevin Butler and Jack Tretton talk on stage, it would be insane! I enjoy Sony for being the middle man in this. They want motion control with Move, and support the gaming community, but they always slip at the last minute. If you can recall from last year, they were going to announce the PSP Go with Gran Turismo, and Little Big Planet PSP but was leaked via their Core episode four days prior their showing! That wasn’t the best move on my behalf, and the screen shots that they are releasing for KillZone 3 are, in my opinion, dumb. Why not wait for E3 and reveal your games and show of to the other companies?! Maybe I don’t see the business side to it. What I hope to see at this year’s E3 is The Last Guaridan, Gran Turismo 5, Infamous 2 or Sly Cooper 4, Final Fantasy XIV, Metal Gear Solid; Raiden/Peace Walker, SOCOM 4, Little Big Planet 2, Kingdom Hearts 3/Birth by Sleep, and God of War; Ghost of Sparta. If they demonstrate like they did two years ago with Little Big Planet, and bring the same style with Little Big Planet 2, they’ll win for creativity. I’m also expecting some strong partnerships with their only rental service like cable, or maybe the PSP2!



Microsoft One of the heavy hitters at the last few E3s. With everyone jumping on the motion controls band wagon, Project Natal will be no exception. Natal will have half of the conference, right after they tell you how much their online blows everyone out of the water. Natal will be interesting. Maybe they’ll release a PSP/DS style handled. You can dream right? Come on, don’t you want to play Gears 3 standing? Waving your hands in the air? Which leads me to the games! Let’s see if they show some trailer/gameplay to Gears of War 3, Fable 3, Halo Reach, Natal and…. Wait, what else do they have?!? Naw, but I’m sure they’re going to gave a mention to the Zune, all three of you, and more Natal features. Zzzz…

P.S. Watch this video to see Kevin Butler, KB, make fun of Project Natal.

Nintendo Last but not least, Nintendo. Let’s hear that they have games this year too. Last year was a fantastic year, compared to the previous years, so this year, they better whip it out. With the new hardware already out of the bag, the DS3D will be the talk of the show. I would honestly like to see some software for Nintendo than anything else. Golden Sun DS, Kirby(for any Wii or DSi/3D), Zelda, Metriod: Other M, Pikmn 3, F-Zero, Kid Icarus, Pokemon Black & White, Sonic Colors, Star Fox, Epic Mickey and any crazy secret game they always do. I just hope that it won’t be a sleeper from two years ago.


Third Parties These developers whore themselves out and they make money on the games we will, and, buy. Not going to the specifics on which developers I want to see show off their junk, but more important the games. Call of Duty; Black Ops, Marvel Vs. CAPCOM 3, Batman; Arkham Asylum 2, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon; Future Solider, King of Fighter XIII, Dead Space 2, Crysis 2, Castlevania; Lord of Shadow, Star Wars(All 30 of them) Naruto; Ultimate Ninja Storm 2, and Rock Band 3.

I’m sure the games, demonstration and events will be a year to remember. After all, it’s the year to stroke your hands for real gameplay. Motion control style!

And KB once again.

Spoiler alert: FnJimmy gets railed.

I'm not gonna lie, I think the Kinect is a fucking joke except for dancing and exercise "games". However, I'll use it once just to kick FnJimmy's ass.

If you don't know, the Kinect is a motion sensor bar that allows you to "be the controller". To drive the car in this game you hold your hands out in front of you as if grasping an imaginary steering wheel. You turn it just like a real car, except that it doesn't work. You don't get to control the gas pedal because the Kinect can't see your feet move like that, which is a shame because, otherwise, this game could have failed at that too.

We begin with Jimmy having problems even navigating the menus. Why did we let him be first player again? Just kidding, Jimmy, I can't actually blame you for this one. In order to do this, he had to hold out his hand in the approximate position of the button and hold it there for a few seconds so the Kinect would realize he was trying to select something. Yes, this is way more convenient than pressing a button, way to go! For some reason the Kinect thought Jimmy was a girl and gave him a lady avatar... probably because he has no balls. I guess we don't get to select cars because it doesn't really matter. Now we're ready to race!

At the starting line I hold as still as possible. Jimmy is all over the place already. I see a tunnel coming up on the next turn, my gaming instinct tells me this is likely a shortcut. Also, not taking the shortcut would require more turning, so I aim for it. By "aim for it" I mean raise my right fist slightly higher than my left. As I do this, our host points out the upcoming shortcut on Jimmy's half of the screen. Jimmy's lightning fast reflexes allow him to deftly avoid this path mere seconds after it is pointed out to him (and on every subsequent lap). I set a new single lap record on the first lap. Meanwhile, the Microsoft rep is trying to tell us how to boost and do tricks while flying over jumps and such. These techniques cause your driver to leap from their vehicle and spin around for no real reason at all. No advantage is gained from performing the stunts, so I proceed to steer as little as possible to an easy 1st place finish as the lady is telling me "you're in first, don't let anyone pass you!" in excited tones. She's never seen anything like this before. She needs to relax, no one is going to catch me.

Jimmy finishes 5th, beating the three worst computer controlled racers on the course. A cardboard cutout of Jimmy standing still would've probably finished 3rd. Do you see on the screens following the race how similar all my poses are? Driftastic! Lean slightly to the left with one hand 2 inches higher than the other!

Someone forgot to record Jimmy's post-match interview, but it wen't something like this: "It was pretty good."

My impressions? Joyride doesn't offer you anything that feels like a race (well, except for beating Jimmy) or like driving a vehicle. It's rather boring and the Kinect is slower than using a controller to get you through the menus and such. I also felt sick after leaving the Microsoft booth at CES because of all the fucking green and purple lights. Seriously, stop with that shit.

Cinderkin found this game, Full House Poker tucked away in the corner of the Microsoft Booth at CES 2011. What the hell is this game?

Microsoft's booth was pretty quiet game wise. Halo Reach was there, something else I didn't really care about and can't even remember now. I just know I was extremely bored and wasn't there for really long. I couldn't wait to get out. Then I saw Cinderkin up agianst the back wall jammed between two televisions, squatting, looking through some narrow passage. A few minutes later when he caught up to me I asked him WTF?! He told me, he found this game called Full House Poker for your Xbox 360 Avatar. My reply ... Nubfarm. Here's the video.

Preview

goukijones

What do I want from E3 2010?

By: goukijones May 31, 2010 | 6 Comments

Don't be a Jimmy special edition of blithering and blathering. E3 2010 blog.

Let me say that this will be in no specific order. Let us get right into it. I want to play the reach multiplayer. I know the campaign will be fun so ... I'm sure it will be cool to play it at the show. Gears of War 3, not a Gears of War guy. I'm not a Call of Duty guy either. That's that for the shooters. I really want to see Brink from Bethesda. I'm not thrilled about the Fallout New Vegas which is made by a different developer this time, Obsidian Entertainment. The same Jimmys that are famous for making sequels to other great games.

In a season of its cars, Gran Turismo 5 is going to be Sony's showcase once again. Promising new and amazing brilliantly designed 3D environments. Wearing glasses are not man. You know what I mean Jimmy. What happened to Africa? Did it come out and I just don't know what I'm talking about? What the fuck was it about? Playing games now like Read Dead, I would love to drive around in a jeep in a living Africa and fuck around. Let be serious here. reipuerto mentions some ridiculous games. Little Big Planet 2, ok ... I know one Jimmy that has actually played that. Nothing about that shit is actually hard core. Maybe there is, I don't know I have never played it. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Marvel VS Capcom 3 is very exciting. I cannot wait to see this, I've heard the game is super fast. The graphics are real free flowing and the comic book look is really cool. Marvel VS Capcom 3 will be one at the top of the first to see list. Have another drink Jimmy. Heard.

Final Fantasy XIV is another game at the top of my first to see list. I want a release date. I want to see gameplay. I want to know how frickin' much a month I'm going to get raiped on my bank account to sit in the middle of the town peddling kluptac wolf hides and firestick buns for 20gil each.

The Metroid is the only game I truly interested in seeing and playing. Because I am concered about the gameplay Jimmy. I don't want to have to switch to fist person on-the-fly to fight bosses and stuuuufff. So I want to see how that plays. Epic Mickey if it does look interesting at the show this would move up on my list. I have played some good Disney games in the day. Kingdom Hearts is nubfarm.

Please how about an update on the Vitality Sensor. I'd love to have my Wii hooked up monitoring my vitals while I play Halo Reach or ModNation Racers. ModNation Racers has me screaming at the TV. I love it. Race me. C'mon Iwata what is up with the relaxation game. Here's my Thursday afternoons in early October ... I'm playing the Shit out of Halo Reach multiplayer. The Wii Vitality Sensor is hooked up to my left nipple because I realized while playing it doesn't work on my index finger. The new Wii-laxition game for the Vitality Sensor just game out and I got a great deal on it. Are you following me?

Seriously I'm done with moving with games. A steering wheel might be cool, might be. Natal, no thanks. Sony with Move. LOL. My Uncle Jack Tretton is going to bring it hard at the Press Conference and I can't wait to see what happens. Jack Trenton is not dead.

Star Wars The Old Republic looks to me like it's going to be lacking in graphics. I need to see it in person. Star Wars The Force Unleashed 2, is it made by the same Jimmys? I need to see it in person. Batman Arkham Asylum 2, yes yes. Of course I want to play that game. Nobody knows anything about it right now. No need to rush it. Fable umpteen, I am a fable fan and I will play this game. Crysis 2 is the new Halo killer. Crysis 2? You have to be asking yourself why haven't you heard of Crysis 1, if Crysis 2 is going to be a Halo killer.

Surprise Zelda is still lame. That's going to be a shock for a lot of people. Killzone 3 is good! No not really. Sorry. Pokemon Battle dome Import any pokemon from the last two DS titles and watch them battle it out in 3D on the Wii. Like the old Battle Stadium for the, what system was that the Gamecube? Never mind. The Natal actually lets you import your actual nasty random Jimmy grill and paste it on to your avatar. Or finally put my real face on my multiplayer only Rainbow Six Vegas 4 guy. Thanks.

I'm very excited about E3 2010. I'm tired right now, it's 1 am June 1st, 2010. I agree with BatRastered, the game I want to see most is a game I don't know about. I'm gonna have one more drink. Don't forget about actually being on the E3 show floor. Who will have the best game of the show, or best booth, best schwag, hottest booth babe? I guess that pretty much sums it up.

*I have not read of this at this point. I posted it anyway. Jimmy! I reserve the right to add or edit anything in this story. I'm sure there is something I forgot to say. Something that I REALLYU want to say ...

Team Meat has negotiated with Microsoft to offer a limited time launch discount as a gift for all of its fan support!

Team Meat was planning on doing something special with Super Meat Boy in time for Christmas this year, but decided that a sale 2 months after release wouldn't be cool to all the fans that bought it before that. So Team Meat talked it over with Microsoft (who by the way loved the idea) to have Super Meat Boy launch at 800 points instead of 1200 points. I have no idea what this game even is, but I think this is a sweet deal none the less.

Here is what they said in the blog:

A Gift to the fans!

Posted by Edmund on October 19th, 2010 in Super Meat Boy!

So, recently we have been talking to MS about eventual sales and the future of Super Meat Boy, we wanted to be able to do something special for Xmas, but it felt like a sale only 2 months after launch would be a kinda shitty thing to do to the fans who just bought it.

After much brainstorming Tommy and I pitched the idea of possibly launching with a sale, a way to reward the fans for buying the game at launch. Now this to my knowledge isn't something that MS has ever done, but much like "teh Internets" we though we might as well approach the idea of a sale with the same innovative mind set. MS loved the idea and we finalized it last Friday.

So its official.

Super Meat Boy will launch on xbla ON SALE for 800 ms points! (that's $10 bucks!) the sales for a limited time only and will go back up to our normal price of 1200 ms points in Nov.

We hope you guys appreciate this early xmas gift, you're positive comments, fan art and donations when Edmund was in the hospital have been greatly appreciated, we are more than happy to give a little back.

Enjoy!

Super Meat Boy Oct.20th Xbla
-Team Meat


Source: http://supermeatboy.com/

Are any of you jimmys getting this? Tell us in the comments. Don't be a Jimmy!

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Official Halo 4 E3 2011 trailer

By: blazemanx Jun 6, 2011 | 7 Comments

This is a little teaser for Halo 4

Now there is not much here in terms of story, but im sure this will have all the halo fans drooling. Now me personally, I'm not a big halo fan, but i know that there are millions out there. So let us know what you think of the trailer and don't be a jimmy!

In a move sure to surprise absolutely nobody, MS officially announced its support for the Kinect on Windows with a soon to be released software developer kit (SDK).

By far the most interesting things being done with Kinect since its release were the hacks that individuals were doing to support the device on PC and have it do things like provide vision for robots and map the room in 3D. Dozens of youtube videos that are way cooler than anything happening with the Kinect on the XBOX started showing up and MS seemed to be okay with it.

Now comes the word that they are more than okay with it, they will now actively support such efforts with an official SDK for Kinect on Windows. This non-commercial (read: free) SDK will be released this spring. Expect a commercial SDK (probably bundled with some version of Visual Studio) to be released at a later date.

It's only a matter of time now before you're controlling your PC "Minority Report" style.

Source: Microsoft

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E3 2010 best of crap and stuff

By: goukijones Jul 1, 2010 | 6 Comments

Not your normal best of list, but who really gives a sh....

E3 2010 best of crap and stuff

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