2012 Jimmy Gems - The nominees

By BatRastered — January 2, 2013
Tags: blog jimmy-gems


Who will win the coveted Jimmy seal of approval? Here are the nominees...

Worst Game:

The Witcher 2

GoukiJones - I hated this game, by the time I made it to the second area, I just couldn't take it anymore. I know there was a big PC following for the first 1, but the combat didn't work too well on the XBOX. The story was bleh & the level designs weren't that great, because it's not long into playing that you realize the areas are no bigger that a large Halo map with only so many enemies.

XCOM: Enemy Unknown

GoukiJones - I hate this game. Even tho I played it for 56 hours, I just wanted to see how far I could push myself. I wanted to see just how terrible it can get. A spaceship strong enough to crash to the earth, but isn't strong enough to take a round from a human pistol is not good game design. Huge disappointment.

Dragon's Dogma

GoukiJones - I might catch some slack for this 1. I only played this game for 8 hours or so & hated every second of it. While going online & trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, I came across so many reviews about why this game sucks & why you shouldn't play. Well I didn't, thanks Raychul & Angry Joe

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

GoukiJones - First of all the colors, I hated them. Jimmy don’t like World of Warcraft colors. The combat was dull & the questing was a lot of fetching & backtracking. Not something I was interested in after just playing Fallout New Vegas & other RPG’s around that time. I remember loving the KoA at E3 when I saw, but when I actually sat down to play I realized it was all lies.

Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon city

GoukiJones - 1 of the worst games of all time easy. Whenever I see video of us playing this game I really wonder WTF was it about & I can’t believe we wasted anytime playing. Capcom just don’t give a fuck about the RE franchise anymore. Fuck this game.

BatRastered - just throwing bullets at enemies who don’t seem to take any damage and have no health bars, then running out of ammo, finally just rushing down the objectives in a suicide run that turns out was the way you were supposed to do it (what?). This game was a confusing mess.

 

Best Arcade:

Mark of the Ninja

GoukiJones - 1 of the most clever games I played this & probably 1 of the best Ninja games of all time. Fun to play, there’s multiple way to take down each enemy or you can try to sneak by everyone. There are some great line of sight gameplay elements that make MotN a big time winner with me.

Double Dragon Neon

GoukiJones - As a remake of an old arcade DDN adds new levels & better action. There’s also an RPG element where you can switch out special abilities as you collect them thru the game. This is great for 2 players.

 

Best Game Not Released in 2012:

Final Fantasy XII

GoukiJones - Another 80 hours on this game, no problem. Great combat, great characters & voice acting, this might be my favorite Final Fantasy of all time.

Halo Wars

GoukiJones - 810 hours. 1 of the best strategy games on XBOX. Please make a Halo Wars 2. Thank you.

Super Street Fighter IV AE

GoukiJones - I’m opposite of BatRastered on this. Even tho I’m not playing SSF4 that much, I’m still playing it now & focusing on it more than ever.

BatRastered - I’m not playing this as much as in the past, but the 2012 patch really evened things out. At the grand finals for the 25th anniversary tournament, there were 6 different characters represented in the top 8. Balance!

Final Fantasy Tactics
BatRastered - I played this on PSN this year for $10. I played the hell out of this and enjoyed every second of it. The job system is still my favorite FF mechanic ever.

 

Glitchiest Game: (aka the Q&ehhh award)

XCOM: Enemy Unknown

GoukiJones - This game was so broken, I was just playing to see WTF would go wrong next. Aliens could shoot thru walls, that was the worst & totally unfair.
BatRastered - Seriously, just watching GoukiJones play this for 5 minutes produced no fewer than 3 actual laugh-out-loud moments.

Borderlands 2
BatRastered - The sequel to the game with the most invisible walls doesn’t disappoint. There were some serious problems this time though, people had their bad ass ranks reset and certain characters would freeze when nearing a save point. Much of this has been patched, but the latest patch broke all the damage bonuses for shotguns. There’s even a glitch to allow you to store unlimited items in the bank.

 

Milk Carton Award:

Agent

GoukiJones - Yeah WTF happened here? Is this still a real game?
BatRastered - I don’t even remember what this was about.

XCOM (the other one)

GoukiJones - Please tell me this version is still coming out. I was looking forward to this Mass Effect style alien hunter shooter.
BatRastered - I was never impressed by what I saw of this at E3, but the silence about this game after Enemy Unknown was announced is deafening.

The Last Guardian

GoukiJones - LOL this game. Canceled, not canceled. Secretly in development in some underground bunker by a now NEW set of Jimmys. The third set.
BatRastered - The creator of the game left the company, but is still “consulting” on this project. LOL.

FF vs XIII

GoukiJones - Here’s a game we saw game play from 2 years ago. Square Enix hasn’t said shit since, but claims it’s still in development.

DiveKick

GoukiJones - You could have made a ton of money on this game month ago if you had just released 2 characters, 2 buttons like you originally stated that was about. Now WTF is it & what are you doing to it?
BatRastered - This was hilarious when the trailer dropped and the demo at UFGT. It was still pretty funny at EVO, but then they started to add characters and moves and now it’s gonna be a real fighting game with balance and moves and … WTF? I don’t care anymore. Could’ve made thousands of dollars as an iPhone/android/indie Xbox game.

Twitch.tv Xbox app

GoukiJones - I need this. Why is this so hard.
BatRastered - The IE on Xbox doesn’t do flash, so no way to watch Twitch. I still have to connect my laptop to the TV. What year is this?

 

What Physics?

Sleeping Dogs

GoukiJones - When you get banned at E3 because in the demo you show me the guy steering the car isn’t turning the wheel or even touching the wheel to be clear, I’m not going to play.
BatRastered - When you shoot out a tire on a care it launches like a rocket. We LOL’ed. Then it landed and continued on it’s way like nothing happened. We almost got thrown out of the room.

XCOM: Enemy Unknown

GoukiJones - Read any of my other comments about this game on this page. Read my review & watch my gameplay videos. Seriously, this game is a mess.

 

Rubber Bullet Award:

Halo 4

BatRastered: Sure, if you had a DMR or sniper, you could kill the Prometheans in 4 or 5 shots, but if you got stuck with a suppressor (basically an SMG) or AR, you will be unloading full clips into their face before they teleport away and make you do it again to kill them. And that was on normal difficulty.

RE: ORC

GoukiJones - On the hardest difficulty level there isn’t more enemies or even smarter enemies. They just take more bullets to shoot. We were playing with 4 people & still shooting the same nuab with entire clips. Terrible.
BatRastered - From my review: “On the highest difficulty setting, the unarmored heads of the military foes can take a half a dozen shots from an assault rifle before finally blowing up in a shower of blood. Many of the boss battles feature big baddies (such as the Nemesis and Tyrants) but you can't really tell if you're doing any damage to them (there's no life meters and they don't really react to the bullet hits) which makes the encounters feel tedious. Worse, there are encounters where you are not able to injure your opponent, you are simply supposed to advance on them until a cut scene triggers, but you don't know that so you sit there and fire at them for half an hour before someone in your party gets tired of it and goes all LEROY JENKINS and charges them. Ugh.”

 

Best Character:

Ultimate Badass God-liath Goon (Bordlerands 2)

GoukiJones - Nothing excited me more about Borderlands 2 than hunting this monster. 1 he is hilarious when he gets pissed off & starts chasing. Special bonus it’s the same voice actor from Dragon Ball Z, Mr Satan. So it’s pretty funny to hear Hercule behind you screaming he’s gonna gouge your eyeballs out.

BatRastered - this goes for any raging Goliath variant (once you pop the helmet off of a goliath, they go crazy). Some of the best dialog in the game just being screamed at you as he chases you down, pummelling all other enemies who dare get in his way. Awesome!

Death (Darksiders II)

GoukiJones - Death is funnier than he looks although I’m not sure he’s trying to be. This character has great 1 liners & he looks dope. Perfect brother for War.

Handsome Jack (Borderlands 2)

BatRastered - Jack is a villain that both fits in with the Borderlands style humor and is evil enough to make you want to kill him. That’s a tough trick to pull off, but Jack does it with style.

 

Best Game:

Halo 4

GoukiJones - By far the best Halo shooting experience in years. Something else about this Halo is that it has brought back a lot of old players from the serious & my friends list always has somebody who want to play. I've logged over 180 on Halo 4 so far. Unfortunately the story was garbage, the last level was probably the worst level in Halo history & there is no final boss fight. WTF?

Borderlands 2

GoukiJones - Great cam to play with friends & compete on who has the best gear. It's also nice to share & trade gear Jimmy. I already have over 200 hours into Borderlands 2 & when the level cap is increased I'm sure I'll go up closer to 300.

Mass Effect 3

GoukiJones - Any game I play thru 2-3 times back to back is going to get a nod from me. Mass Effect is great fun. The multiplayer isn't bad either, especially since you can play on 2 XBOXs with 1 copy of ME3. Stolen!

BatRastered - Had a surprisingly good time in the multiplayer (yeah, partially because the 2 disk format allowed us to play together with only one copy of the game). The story was great, the ending was a little weird and abrupt, but EA/Bioware put out a patch that made more sense. All the multiplayer map packs were free. Awesome game, awesome support.


What do you think? Add your nominations in the comments below! We will announce winners on this week's podcast!

Halo 4

Halo 4 Gouki Box Art

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Jimmy seal of approval Editor's Choice
Release Date: Nov 6, 2012

Buy it! 67% - Rent it! 33% - Flush it! 0%
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