"Halo The Series" Review: Love Making, Clones, Human Covenant SPOILER ALERT

By goukijones — May 30, 2022
Tags: review

9 hours of “Halo” live action.

Important moments in the series will be discussed. This is your last warning. Spoiler Alert!

They kill the Master Chief’s girlfriend. I could not believe it. The Master Chief having made love for the first time to a real live girl, also a Covenant spy, dies in the last episode. Oh boy what a cliffhanger. Forget that the Master Chief himself actually dies and Cortana takes over his body to become the actual Master Chief from the game. The silent PWNn badass. For about 5 minutes and the season ends. Ok, let’s walk this back from here.

You can read my review of episode 1 here. Episode 2. The helmetless tragic story of John Halo. I’ve managed to do a fairly good job of blocking out most of the horror that I saw throughout the series. Master Chief does a lot of talking and even some actual digging with a shovel. He puts his helmet on to drive a Warthog, but when he parks and gets out, he takes his helmet off immediately. No combat in episodes 2 and 3.

There’s a cool battle in the fourth episode. Master Chief jumps onto a Banshee and I think he’s going to hijack it, but he just shoots it or grenades it, or something. Crashes it into more Covenant vehicles, could have been cooler probably if anybody working on this show played Halo. Jackals walking around with mini energy swords. Is this a thing? No sniping at all from the Covenant, another missed opportunity. Then a brute drops from a ship with no explanation, PWNs the Master Chief, steals his childhood toy and the episode ends.

Episode 5 and 6 was more talking. 7 was about a completely different character. Which ended up being a pointless episode because, after this the character was never brought up or shown again. The Master Chief was in the episode, in a vision. First in full-on Spartan Master Chief, pan away, then with his helmet off, of course, pan away, then in just his Spartan onesie. There’s a real person under there damn it! With emotions.

The final two episodes tried their best to build up to the climax. After the Master Chief himself climaxed. The show never actually made it to “The Halo” as they call it. It was visited in dreams and visions, but we never go there. Reach is never destroyed and the final battle takes place on some Covenant holy planet. The Brutes show up again with no explanation to try and save the day. There’s really no explanation of the Covenant or what they are doing or why the hate humanity so much.

Overall I’m giving this show a “You must watch it” to see for yourself. But I guess if you haven’t watched it already you probably don’t care. There’s a season 2 in the works. I’m not sure there will be any redemption. Unless the Master Cheeks himself stays dead and Cortana controls his body. They injected a Cortana fluid into his brain by the way. JFC what have they done? See you next season!

Halo The Series

"Halo The Series" Review: Love Making, Clones, Human Covenant SPOILER ALERT

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