Review: The Witcher 2 The Guy Has 2 Swords Review

goukijones Posted by: goukijones Apr 25, 2012 | 3 comments
Tagged: blithering-blathering goukijones review
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GoukiJones shares his thoughts on the in-depth combat, terrible sound effects and his overall experience with The Witcher 2 for Xbox 360.

The best thing the Witcher 2 has going for it is the combat. Combat is the reason I play most game and my highest factor when rating. Every other aspect of the game could be a fail, but if I have fun whippin' that ass, then I won't ever be fully disappointed.

The left trigger locks on to baddies and you can switch who is selected by flicking one of the sticks. The Y button does magic. X & A do a heavy and light attack. I find myself almost always just smashing the light attack. You can stun enemies with your magic spells and then get a 1 hit kill animation. You can also raise the percentage of that move happening through out your progress in the game.

The RB throws daggers, which are super expensive early in the game. The LB brings up your Witcher wheel where you can select from different magics that you can upgrade. The B button rolls and you can upgrade this as well. At first the Witcher barely rolls at all, but you can upgrade to 200% roll length after awhile and then rolling becomes faster than running. Vintage!

Mix all that stuff in along with The Witcher 2 throwing a ton of bad guys at you in a lot of small spaces, you got some challenging fight ahead of you. The combat and setting up your guy for fights has really been the only thing keeping me interested. You can drink potions before each fight that will raise your vitality or make you more resistant to poison. After a while I realized I was usually just drinking the same 3 potions. I'm sure there's a ton more options later on in the game.

The story so far is -and this might shock you- is completely uninteresting. The game starts off with one of the best CG's I've ever seen. Then you have to play through 5 different parts for the "introduction" which is down with a flashback type feel. The Witcher is telling the story. You can pick in which order you do the 5 sequences. Irrelevant and a waste of time. I hated doing that. Then it does the new favorite thing for story tellers ... 4 months ago. So all the shit I just played through hasn't even happened yet. Or did it? I'm confused. I was skipping through the story as fast as possible.

Like in Mass Effect you have the option to be nice or mean to people. There's not meter for that or anything and now that I think about I don't know if it's had any real impact on my gameplay. I skip the conversations so fast I don't see the last thing they ask me before I have 7 different options to reply. Pick 1 at random and guess what, didn't seem to matter.

The graphics are ok. Nothing to spectacular. I'm sure it looked a little prettier on the PC. There doesn't seem to by that many different bad guys. You fight a lot of these little goblin things in the first chapter and then just fight bigger versions of them in the second chapter. There are some really really ugly faces matted to grills in the Witcher. Heads up. lol.

The sound effects are the worst I've ever heard in a video game. In chapter 1 while running through the town you can hear dogs barking, but never see 1 dog. Outside the town while near water you can hear ducks quacking, but never see 1 duck. Some of the music in the background is cool and a little catchy, but it's short and very repetitive. Voice acting isn't too great either and every once a while there is a voice over telling the story and that guy sounds like some nerd who hasn't gone through puberty yet. Never has sound effects ever stood out for me this bad.

I'm playing The Witcher 2 on hard LIVE on the stream. I'm only on chapter 2 now, but I spent about a week on chapter 1 working on this review. That's why it gets a Rent it! You're gotta WANT to play this game to play it. You don't NEED to play it. Don't be a Jimmy! Thanks for reading, please Vote, Comment and Share.

The Witcher 2

3,694 Views
4 Stories

Release Date: May 17, 2011

Buy it! 62 % - Rent it! 31 % - Flush it! 8 %

Verdict: Rent It

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