Who will win the coveted Jimmy seal of approval? Here are the nominees...
GoukiJones - I hated this game, by the time I made it to the second area, I just couldn't take it anymore. I know there was a big PC following for the first 1, but the combat didn't work too well on the XBOX. The story was bleh & the level designs weren't that great, because it's not long into playing that you realize the areas are no bigger that a large Halo map with only so many enemies.
GoukiJones - I hate this game. Even tho I played it for 56 hours, I just wanted to see how far I could push myself. I wanted to see just how terrible it can get. A spaceship strong enough to crash to the earth, but isn't strong enough to take a round from a human pistol is not good game design. Huge disappointment.
GoukiJones - I might catch some slack for this 1. I only played this game for 8 hours or so & hated every second of it. While going online & trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, I came across so many reviews about why this game sucks & why you shouldn't play. Well I didn't, thanks Raychul & Angry Joe
GoukiJones - First of all the colors, I hated them. Jimmy don’t like World of Warcraft colors. The combat was dull & the questing was a lot of fetching & backtracking. Not something I was interested in after just playing Fallout New Vegas & other RPG’s around that time. I remember loving the KoA at E3 when I saw, but when I actually sat down to play I realized it was all lies.
GoukiJones - 1 of the worst games of all time easy. Whenever I see video of us playing this game I really wonder WTF was it about & I can’t believe we wasted anytime playing. Capcom just don’t give a fuck about the RE franchise anymore. Fuck this game.
BatRastered - just throwing bullets at enemies who don’t seem to take any damage and have no health bars, then running out of ammo, finally just rushing down the objectives in a suicide run that turns out was the way you were supposed to do it (what?). This game was a confusing mess.
GoukiJones - 1 of the most clever games I played this & probably 1 of the best Ninja games of all time. Fun to play, there’s multiple way to take down each enemy or you can try to sneak by everyone. There are some great line of sight gameplay elements that make MotN a big time winner with me.
GoukiJones - As a remake of an old arcade DDN adds new levels & better action. There’s also an RPG element where you can switch out special abilities as you collect them thru the game. This is great for 2 players.
Best Game Not Released in 2012:
Final Fantasy XII
GoukiJones - Another 80 hours on this game, no problem. Great combat, great characters & voice acting, this might be my favorite Final Fantasy of all time.
GoukiJones - 810 hours. 1 of the best strategy games on XBOX. Please make a Halo Wars 2. Thank you.
GoukiJones - I’m opposite of BatRastered on this. Even tho I’m not playing SSF4 that much, I’m still playing it now & focusing on it more than ever.
BatRastered - I’m not playing this as much as in the past, but the 2012 patch really evened things out. At the grand finals for the 25th anniversary tournament, there were 6 different characters represented in the top 8. Balance!
Final Fantasy Tactics
BatRastered - I played this on PSN this year for $10. I played the hell out of this and enjoyed every second of it. The job system is still my favorite FF mechanic ever.
Glitchiest Game: (aka the Q&ehhh award)
GoukiJones - This game was so broken, I was just playing to see WTF would go wrong next. Aliens could shoot thru walls, that was the worst & totally unfair.
BatRastered - Seriously, just watching GoukiJones play this for 5 minutes produced no fewer than 3 actual laugh-out-loud moments.
BatRastered - The sequel to the game with the most invisible walls doesn’t disappoint. There were some serious problems this time though, people had their bad ass ranks reset and certain characters would freeze when nearing a save point. Much of this has been patched, but the latest patch broke all the damage bonuses for shotguns. There’s even a glitch to allow you to store unlimited items in the bank.
Milk Carton Award:
GoukiJones - Yeah WTF happened here? Is this still a real game?
BatRastered - I don’t even remember what this was about.
GoukiJones - Please tell me this version is still coming out. I was looking forward to this Mass Effect style alien hunter shooter.
BatRastered - I was never impressed by what I saw of this at E3, but the silence about this game after Enemy Unknown was announced is deafening.
GoukiJones - LOL this game. Canceled, not canceled. Secretly in development in some underground bunker by a now NEW set of Jimmys. The third set.
BatRastered - The creator of the game left the company, but is still “consulting” on this project. LOL.
GoukiJones - Here’s a game we saw game play from 2 years ago. Square Enix hasn’t said shit since, but claims it’s still in development.
GoukiJones - You could have made a ton of money on this game month ago if you had just released 2 characters, 2 buttons like you originally stated that was about. Now WTF is it & what are you doing to it?
BatRastered - This was hilarious when the trailer dropped and the demo at UFGT. It was still pretty funny at EVO, but then they started to add characters and moves and now it’s gonna be a real fighting game with balance and moves and … WTF? I don’t care anymore. Could’ve made thousands of dollars as an iPhone/android/indie Xbox game.
Twitch.tv Xbox app
GoukiJones - I need this. Why is this so hard.
BatRastered - The IE on Xbox doesn’t do flash, so no way to watch Twitch. I still have to connect my laptop to the TV. What year is this?
GoukiJones - When you get banned at E3 because in the demo you show me the guy steering the car isn’t turning the wheel or even touching the wheel to be clear, I’m not going to play.
BatRastered - When you shoot out a tire on a care it launches like a rocket. We LOL’ed. Then it landed and continued on it’s way like nothing happened. We almost got thrown out of the room.
GoukiJones - Read any of my other comments about this game on this page. Read my review & watch my gameplay videos. Seriously, this game is a mess.
Rubber Bullet Award:
BatRastered: Sure, if you had a DMR or sniper, you could kill the Prometheans in 4 or 5 shots, but if you got stuck with a suppressor (basically an SMG) or AR, you will be unloading full clips into their face before they teleport away and make you do it again to kill them. And that was on normal difficulty.
GoukiJones - On the hardest difficulty level there isn’t more enemies or even smarter enemies. They just take more bullets to shoot. We were playing with 4 people & still shooting the same nuab with entire clips. Terrible.
BatRastered - From my review: “On the highest difficulty setting, the unarmored heads of the military foes can take a half a dozen shots from an assault rifle before finally blowing up in a shower of blood. Many of the boss battles feature big baddies (such as the Nemesis and Tyrants) but you can't really tell if you're doing any damage to them (there's no life meters and they don't really react to the bullet hits) which makes the encounters feel tedious. Worse, there are encounters where you are not able to injure your opponent, you are simply supposed to advance on them until a cut scene triggers, but you don't know that so you sit there and fire at them for half an hour before someone in your party gets tired of it and goes all LEROY JENKINS and charges them. Ugh.”
Ultimate Badass God-liath Goon (Bordlerands 2)
GoukiJones - Nothing excited me more about Borderlands 2 than hunting this monster. 1 he is hilarious when he gets pissed off & starts chasing. Special bonus it’s the same voice actor from Dragon Ball Z, Mr Satan. So it’s pretty funny to hear Hercule behind you screaming he’s gonna gouge your eyeballs out.
BatRastered - this goes for any raging Goliath variant (once you pop the helmet off of a goliath, they go crazy). Some of the best dialog in the game just being screamed at you as he chases you down, pummelling all other enemies who dare get in his way. Awesome!
Death (Darksiders II)
GoukiJones - Death is funnier than he looks although I’m not sure he’s trying to be. This character has great 1 liners & he looks dope. Perfect brother for War.
Handsome Jack (Borderlands 2)
BatRastered - Jack is a villain that both fits in with the Borderlands style humor and is evil enough to make you want to kill him. That’s a tough trick to pull off, but Jack does it with style.
GoukiJones - By far the best Halo shooting experience in years. Something else about this Halo is that it has brought back a lot of old players from the serious & my friends list always has somebody who want to play. I've logged over 180 on Halo 4 so far. Unfortunately the story was garbage, the last level was probably the worst level in Halo history & there is no final boss fight. WTF?
GoukiJones - Great cam to play with friends & compete on who has the best gear. It's also nice to share & trade gear Jimmy. I already have over 200 hours into Borderlands 2 & when the level cap is increased I'm sure I'll go up closer to 300.
GoukiJones - Any game I play thru 2-3 times back to back is going to get a nod from me. Mass Effect is great fun. The multiplayer isn't bad either, especially since you can play on 2 XBOXs with 1 copy of ME3. Stolen!
BatRastered - Had a surprisingly good time in the multiplayer (yeah, partially because the 2 disk format allowed us to play together with only one copy of the game). The story was great, the ending was a little weird and abrupt, but EA/Bioware put out a patch that made more sense. All the multiplayer map packs were free. Awesome game, awesome support.Read full story...
By: choke Jul 25, 2012 | 6 Comments | Updated: Jul 31, 2012
The amazing 3A toys are releasing 2 Halo toys next Wednesday (actually Tuesday evening in the US)
Ashley Wood and his company 3A toys continue their toy domination with 2 new toys based on the Halo franchise.
First up is the HALO Spartan MKV Commando, which is a www.bambalandstore.com exclusive
Next is the HALO Commander Carter Spartan III, which will be available at www.bambalandstore.com and then later at select toy retailers
Both figures stand 13.5" tall and feature: * Fiber-optic illuminated helmet and armor * Magnetized shoulder shields and rear pouch that all weapons can be attached to * Rubberized suit over a fully articulated body with complete outer armor attachments * Fully articulated fingers * Weapons: M392DMR (designated marksman rifle), M9 HE-DP APG Frag Grenade (x2), Combat Knife with sheath
They will be $200 each USD, and go on sale Wednesday in Hong Kong time which usually translates to Tuesday evening for those of us in the US.
By: cinderkin Sep 3, 2012 | 2 Comments
In what can only be explained as "Stupid" 343 Studios and Gamespot has released a video doc that shows the games script which spoils the games story including the ending. Click if you dare.
The script is shown in the video, and even though its very brief if you pause it you can clearly see the spoilers.
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By: goukijones Jun 21, 2012 | 4 Comments
Lemme guess, shoot it in the glowing part? 343 Industries released info on a Halo 4 baddie, Promethean Crawler AKA Dog. Here's my take on this new info, along with pictures & a video. I also discuss MLG and the Holodeck being the only selling point so far.
Okay so we're going with Prometheans as the main bad guys in Halo 4. I didn't know there was this whole Mass Effect crossover thing going on. That's pretty cool. So let's talk about these "Promethean" dogs. These dogs travel in packs and can skitter up walls, trees and other terrain. 343 used the word skitter, not me. Somebody been watching too much Falling Skies. Here's a video of the dog moving around.
Yeah, whoopty do I guess. It looks good. These Jimmys have been making -well most of them- one of the top franchises in the history of video games. They better be able to program a dog.
I think there is something in the way they sensationalize this information, so we think that this is something important.
The length and the width of the dog will probably never come up in any sort of discussion about Halo 4 for the rest of my days. Well maybe now, because I'm making this reference. What I'm trying to say is, I see stuff like this and I'm not impressed. Microsoft's Press Conference impressed me when I saw the Halo 4 demo. Then just last week I saw the same demo on Jimmy Fallon. They let Jimmy play and ... it was God mode. Crawlers were blowing up a mile away, how's that damage output with that assault rifle? Needless to say, that "campaign clip" shown at E3 and on Jimmy Fallon was mostly canned.
The big question for me here is still whether or not this game will regain it's competitive aspect and appear again on MLG. Instead I keep hearing how 343 thinks they've done something amazing with the multiplayer. Why?! Because it's on a Holodeck? I've seen that before. You have got to show me some serious gameplay. 343 should give it out to some MLG pros for a week and then release a video of all the highlights. Then we'd know the truth I'm sure, one way or the other.
That's enough for right now. Fuck me, back to 50/50 on the Halo 4. Shooters are in so much trouble this year with me. Borderlands 2, the only game with a pass right now. What are you thoughts on this industry stuff? Halo 4? Dogs, oh btw they are called Crawlers. Promethean Dogs sounds way better. Vote, Comment and Share. Don't be a Jimmy!
A new mode for Halo 4 to start.
I was oblivious to the fact that this even existed. But from what I understand it was some weird ass fan made mode. But it is going to be included this time from day one. They describe it as being similar to rock paper scissors, but I don't see a connection. Watching the guys beat the hell out of each other and throwing off the presenter was kind of funny but I'm still kind of confused about the game. So if one of you jimmys can fill me in that'ld be great. Looks like a mode built for a Golden Review in my opinion.
By: BatRastered Jun 4, 2012 | 5 Comments
The very first thing we were shown at Microsoft's Xbox E3 media briefing. We saw a cool trailer for Halo 4, but then we were surprised with some actual gameplay.
First a blend of live action and some clips from the game. This is the official trailer.
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By: BatRastered Nov 2, 2012 | 3 Comments
Yeah, this is as close to a Halo movie as I think we'll ever see. The good news is it's free to watch on youtube. So sit back and enjoy...
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Here is the winning clip of the first ever PWN of the Week contest on Gouki.com for Halo 4.
Congratulations to Gorilla Warbear for sending me 1 of the best Splatter videos I've seen in a while.
I am currently accepting clips for this week. A new winner will be selected each Saturday at 1PM live on the stream. twitch.tv/goukijones.Read full story...
By: BatRastered Jul 15, 2012 | 2 Comments
Machinima is doing a live action series for Halo 4. Here's the full length trailer.
There will be a DVD version included with the collector's edition of Halo 4. Trailer doesn't show any covenant or flood, so I'm still worried what that will look like.
By: goukijones Oct 17, 2012 | 3 Comments
If you don't watch the tele, then you probably haven't seen the 2 commercials GameStop has been running for exclusive Halo 4 skins. Both commercials are entertaining & well done, but do you really need the forest skin armor?
The director here took an odd approach. Showing very little gameplay & taking more than half of the time to explain camoflauge to the yougins. Don't be a Jimmy!
*Before you click play below. How many Spartans do you see?
This armor isn't legal in any tournament. It will be consided cheese by all the Jimmys online. I could give a shit whether you had it or I had it. I probably wouldn't use it in the game. It's not going to be that big of a deal. I bet you that when Halo 4 comes out that armor won't make a bit of difference in the overall gameplay. Dear god what am I talking about.Read full story...
Snapshot, Snapshot, Snapshot! PWNn! Check out this great clip from xErik EstradaX.
Congratulations to xErik Estradax for sending me this PWNn ass clip. Honestly I thot that was the covey assault rifle until you fired it. Don't be a Jimmy!
Please recommend me your best clips. I review them every Saturday at 1PM PST on the LIVE stream. twitch.tv/goukijonesRead full story...
Red Rockets & King Jousts. From Kingtacular to Reign of Terror, it's nothing but pure PWNn from GoukiJones in this clip. Thanks for watching.
This is 1 of my best games of Halo 4, there were a couple of close calls, but I made it out alive. My best advice to stay alive during Team Regicide is to keep your team in between you & the other team.
Create your own story about a Halo 4 clip from your file share. Vote, comment & share. Don't be a Jimmy!