Review: Bastion Review The Kid beat the shit outta this game
GoukiJones has been playing Bastion for the last few days. Challenged it and beat the crap out of it. Here are the notes from his time in the Wild.. as The Kid.
I’ve been taking notes sporadically the last few days, when I sat down to play the Bastion. It was about 3 sittings according to those Internet Jimmys. I spent at least 14 hours in the game. I played with Idols on as soon as I found them. I had 8 total and had them all on the last two levels. Although, I don’t think they made a difference on the last level. So here are the notes from the last few days and then I’ll get into some more details if you care to read on at that point.
And then he falls to his death.
Don’t worry the kid ain’t scared. He about to PWN everybody up in chere!
The poor kid collapses after just one drag.
I think there was just a reference to something illegal like fresh bowls. If you pop a poisonous flower, the screen gets all blurry and slowed. If you pop a second poisonous flower right after the first one the comical announcer says.
“That’s all you come to the grove for?”
Maybe I’m just out of it myself.
“Leave it to The Kid for time for stompin’ swamp weeds.”
The world map looks cools, but I wish you could zoom out or something to get a better look at the entire thing. It’s pretty sweet.
No matter what the comical announcer says, always spin the bull.
There’s these idols that are like the skulls in Halo. Turning them on adds difficulty, so far all of them (the two I have) give you a bonus to crystal gathering, which buys you upgrades. They make the enemies crazy fast, doesn’t matter to The Kid though, he still is the PWNnnst out in the Wild.
Spin the bull.
At this point I would say pick what weapons you want to use early on and stick with them. Keep maxing out their upgrades every time you stop in the Bastion. I’m using the machete and the musket. I destroyed the musket challenge the first time through. It was easy, you just gotta bunch ‘em all up Jimmy. I will say that the weapon leveling up and challenge of the game -especially with the idols on- gets better and better. I look forward to leveling up and moving on to the next stage.
Fuckin’ a restart with idols on. I ain’t no Jimmy.
This is my third time sitting down with Bastion now. The game is really starting to challenge me now. I have 6 of the 10 idols on and I’m PWNn! The Kid is fighting for his life out in the Wild.
Block. That’s my pro-tip for Bastion. Block. I’m level 5 now and two of the tonics I carry with me are for the shield. Half of the enemies will kill themselves with their own shots.
1: +100% Damage When Counter-Blocking with the Bullhead shield
2: +33% Speed While Defending
I now have 8 of the 10 Idols active for a bonus of 55% EXP. I don’t fuck around Jimmy, I PWN.
I just got the Calamity Canon in the game and something that I don’t like is, you have to pick up that new gun or new weapon any time you find one. This swaps out what you have equipped and even your tonic power if it is attached to the weapon. Now on some levels this happens and there is an armory close by so you can swap it out. I hated picking up that mortar gun, even if it was for only a second. I’m playing on super hard and as soon as I woke those sleeping birds the four of them fucked me up. Wait, I had a continue right? Yep, as soon as I stood up the birds swooped in for another gafflin’. Game over. Eventually I beat them. After I discovered block.
Calamity Canon swapped out for the Scrap Musket. Get Railed. I PWN close quarters.
Sitting down with Bastion now for the final PWNfest. I’ve had a few drinks at this point, ate a Philly cheese steak and watched two episodes of Hell’s Kitchen. Now it’s time to rail the rest of this Bastion with the idols Jimah!
I’m pretty sure I’m on my way to the last fight. Or stage. The story has been pretty good, I’m not one for watching cut scenes, but Bastion has an excellent way of telling you the story with people you meet that come back to your town(the Bastion.) I don’t intend to ruin anything for you. There’s a lot to the town as well, you can upgrade each of the buildings, which is cool. Simple things yes, but Bastion keeps it interesting around every corner with its simple RPG elements.
Right now before I go to the last stage, I’m doing all of the weapon challenges. 100% completion. I’ve only used the Musket and the Machete all the way through the game. I’m just not feeling the other weapons, there are a lot too. A cannon and a mortar, that I already mentioned. A rifle, bow and arrow, flame thrower. All very unique and would implement different gameplay strategies for how you play Bastion.
Need some more crystals Jimmy. I almost have all of my weapons maxed out. Do the challenges, you can get upgrade parts for other weapons. Make sure you have all of the idols on for max XP. Never mind that I got destroyed in there. Sad face. I’ll level up my weapons with what points I have left and will try to finish all of the challenges real quick. lol 100%.
I’m missing the first prize on the Gunslinger, the Hammer and the Spike challenges. The Spike challenge is a good one. Lets PWN this final boss. With that sad, there will be NO SPOILERS from here on out.
Once you enter this area, there is no turning back. Are you ready? - Spoiler Alert. Just kidding.
I might have just glitched the final boss. I clicked X to ride the sky way, but remembered there was a potion right there and tried to run over to grab it real quick. But the screen faded to black and I was standing up against the boss, instead of being on the ground the last two times I fought him. Now he’s just standing in the middle of the room, waiting for me stand up I guess. He's not moving, but his eyes follow me. Ha ha, the joke is on him. Anyway, not the final boss.
So yeah, he doesn't move or fight back. I just shotgun his grill right off the side. Seeyalater.
I have beaten the game. I have now unlocked ‘New Game Plus’ mode. Start over with all my XP and weapons. New idols and spirits added. Sweet. Use the Shrine for the Toughest Challenge?! You’re on buddy!
The notes stop there. Just a few things I want to mention about Bastion. Great music. I love the Zia’s song. The sound effects seem to struggle for some reason. I was clearly hitting things in front of me on the screen, but the sound was coming from the speakers behind me. That was strange.
Bastion is clever game and might just be worth your hard earned money. Do you like leveling up? Upgrading weapons? Or a second play through, challenge rooms? A deep story with a more than comical and sometimes serious narrator? Bastion has a tons of features. In the end, I really enjoyed this game. I would recommend you Buy it! I know there is nothing else you are playing right now. Infamous 2? Duke? C’mon.
Bastion kicks off Summer of Arcade and The Kid is liking the way things are going!
Verdict: Buy It
Trending Video Games
- Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot
- Halo: Infinite
- Gears of War 5
- Xbox One X
- Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
- JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
- Marvel U.A. 3: The Black Order
- The Outer Worlds
- Rage 2
- Fallout 76