Another adventure, beat-em up game. Enslaved tries to pull in features from other games, how well does that work? I will tell you, I beat the game in 1 sitting. About 6 hours. Here's my review ...
Remember Randy Pitchford said he loves this game. You have to comb every corner of the Enslaved world and pick up little orange orbs that are like money in the game. You can talk to your partner chick (Who's name is Trip and she is kinda hot. For being all smelly and dirty.) Trip has this wonderful store she can access, full of upgrades to your health and shield. She can also mod your weapon and teach you new fighting moves. Weird how you are running for life with this chick and she has all this stuff with her, but makes me BUY IT. Sad face. Anyway back to the collecting the orbs and Randy Pitchford, did you enjoy picking up every single dollar on the ground in Borderlands?! Please in Borderlands 2, can my guy just automatically suck up whatever money he runs over.
When I watched the FNJimmy golden video review Enslaved Odyssey to the West. I knew I had to play Enslaved. I did and I beat the shit out of it. I had all the moves the main guy can unlock by level 4 or 5. Pro-tips: I don't ever level health or shield or armor in these games early on or most games for that fact. I believe that if you are good in the combat you don't need to worry about your health. Needless to say, I was beating the shit out of these things fairly easy. Which brings me to the enemies. There are only 4 types of enemies. Mechs, which is exactly what they call them in the game, come out in a few different classes. All railable immediately if you knew what you are doing with the combat. Giant dogs, which are called .. dogs. I know what you are thinking. There is one giant Rollie Pollie boss fight. Another scene you fight scorpions, which in the game are called scorpion mechs. lol.
The game is easily PWNable in 8 hours or less. The characters are the best part of this game. They are all well acted, well voiced and well written. I laughed a few times when the writing in the game made fun of how stupid the gameplay is. Platforming rig comes out of the side of the building and there's a switch at the top - hit switch. Another platforming rig on the other side of the symmetrical building comes out with another switch at the top. "Oh are you kidding me with this crap?" Says the main character. I like that stuff. I didn't mind doing those chores in the game because I got a little laugh out of them once in a while.
The final battle was worth the play through for me and the story ending wasn't that bad either. Like I said, the game has good writing. FNJimmy told me he beat the game and it was only 12 chapters. Well when I was on chapter 14 and 4am playing this, I knew I was fucked. Still some of the best platforming comes in at the end of the game. The puzzles and the combat were still all bullshit. The ending is definitely a highlight for the game and I don't mean when the actual credits roll.
The combat is the major problem here, it's bland and aggravating. Even while blocking I would take a pounding. It was real difficult to keep control of the fights. The camera is definitely not your friend at all while playing Enslaved. With the combat it just came down to timing special moves, when I knew I could use them most effectively. To just smashing the X or Y button, because any type of chain combo with two buttons did nothing sepcial. Smash on X until your "Rod" glows then hit Y. The Jimmy does this awesome 10 hit combo. It's completely automatic and goes in whatever direction you're facing. Pretty bad. The A button also got worked over pretty well. The platforming that some might say LOOKS like Uncharted 2, PLAYS nothing like Uncharted 2. As long as you're smashing the A button and rotating the thumb stick toward which ever way you wanted to go, he just jumped. No big deal, hanging from the side of moving air-trains or dangling over bottomless pits. The main guy would jump and catch on, or swing through, with out ever being in any danger. Unless he was getting shot at, but c'mon, nubfarm.
I beat this game in 1 sitting. Call what you will, I call it PWNn. I wouldn't waste your money on this game. It's already at a very low price, but it's not even worth it. There's tons better stuff for you, that you could be playing right now! Why are you even reading this? Enslaved Odyssey to the West get a ...
By: goukijones Sep 12, 2010 | 9 Comments
Gameplay footage includes: Spider-Man smashing into a wall, stuck falling in the sky for 5 minutes, swinging from nothing and getting shot. Funny.
By: goukijones Mar 25, 2010 | 10 Comments
Haven't you heard ... it's the Halo RPG you've been waiting for.
Well not exactly an RPG, but you get EXP which is now called Credits (cR for short? Reh-tard for long.) Anyway you get credits now for multiplayer and playing the campaign. Is the campaign going to be that different each time you play through? I can't imagine going through any campaign more than three times, unless you are the Original Jimmy.
News also came out today about the armor customization. When I first saw the trailer for the Halo Reach multiplayer I was guessing that different combinations of armor would give you different abilities that would act like "equipment" from Halo 3. I am incorrect. The armor customization doesn't do anything in Halo Reach except change your appearance. This is for all the Jimmys that needed the Recon armor bullshit. I don't care what the armor looks like, I use an Elite in Halo 3. Jimmy!
Bungie says this is a way for everyone to play a lot or a little and get the same experience. So next time you look at a players Spartan you will be able to tell his play style. I can't wait to see what the Raipist looks like.
Read more @ Bungie.net
The Halo Reach Beta begins on May 3rd and you need Halo 3 ODST to play it.
Don't miss out on the first ever Gouki.com Halo Reach montage filming this May!
By: goukijones Feb 10, 2011 | 9 Comments
A new trailer on the internet today shows that, Hunted: The Demon's Forge has been given a more official release date. Plus the game looks pretty cool.
Hunted: The Demon's Forge is a co-op dungeon crawler with a twist. No splitscreen. Yeah I know what that means, nothing. You're gonna play on your TV and me on mine. Gouki.com got a first look at Hunted last year at E3. The game did not look that spectacular at all. I played the floor demo and spoke to the developer there who waled me through. It was a very brief demo and the game was clearly in its early stages of development.
Today a new video come out showing off what could be a pretty fun "co-op" dungeon crawler. Check out the video below. You'll also see new "official" release date at the end of the trailer. Enjoy.
By: goukijones Jan 17, 2011 | 13 Comments
Killzone 3 Move enabled Helghast fanboy style has a hefty price tag. A look at the the collector's Edition and Pre-order Bonus DLC for upcoming titles such as Marvel VS Capcom 3, Dead Space 2, and Bulletstorm.
Deals Jimmy! Returns with the front end of the year blowout. During the Holiday Break not much is happening in the video games deals department. Now that we're well into the new year it's time to get started with SAVING MONEY ON VIDEO GAMES. There's a couple of games with great coupons and bonus DLC. I always say, IF you gotta pay full price at least make sure you're getting something for free with it. Like the MvC3 console sticker decals that nobody cares about. lol. Happy shopping and start stacking those coupons Jimmy.Read full story...
Like we said, all you have to do is be on the top ten list from the last 30 days and we will select one person at random to loot our store. And the winner is
Before we talk about who is going to be looting our store, we have a few other Jimmy Ass Awards I would like to hand out. Please accept below in the comments.
Best User Review:
Best Voter Upper:
Most French/Canadian Ass Jimmy:
Jimmy Ass Comment goes to shenwoopunch for the comment he left on this page:
Don't be a Jimmy Story of the Month:
Which brings us to the first ever winner of our loot the store monthly point challenge. Nobody has tried harder to be a part of the Goukimunity, nobody has posted the same story, nobody has left more nice comments ...
The winner is Kof2012!!!
Kof2012 has earned over 20 million points since he's joined and he is the fasted scoring person in the history of Gouki.com. Granted they were a bunch of Jimmy ass comments, but he has since then proved that he is just a Jimmy. Live everyone else.
Congratulations to you Jimmy! You can select any game or t-shirt from our store and we will send it to you for free. Just leave a comment below for which item you want and we will email you.
Don't be a Jimmy! Thank you to everyone for playing. The new month starts right now and new items will soon be added to the store.
By: goukijones Feb 2, 2011 | 7 Comments
LA get ready, Fight Club is back and they are featuring the two newest titles from Capcom. Also as a bonus, vintage playable arcade boards of some classic Capcom fighting games will be there. Line up early, don't be a Jimmy.
Marvel Vs Capcom 3 Fight Club February 3, 2011
Straight from the email, what else do you need to know?
Read full story...
It’s time again for get hype for FIGHT CLUB! That’s right, we’re throwing another Marvel VS Capcom 3 Fight Club and we’re back on our home turf in Los Angeles.
This THURSDAY, FEB 3, you will get a chance to not only play over 30 characters from the game, but also test drive Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition on the Nintendo 3DS! We’ve also got much more planned including awesome music acts (including DJ R-Rated, Miles Mosley and a surprise performance), tons of tasty grub and exclusive swag available to the first 200 fans in line.
Even more rare, we'll have playable arcade boards (NOT console ports) for every game that lead up to this latest Marvel/Capcom face-off: X-Men: Children of the Atom (1994), Marvel Super Heroes (1995), X-Men vs Street Fighter (1996), Marvel Super Heroes vs Street Fighter (1997), Marvel vs Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes (1998), and Marvel vs Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000).
Make sure you get in line early as it’s first-come, first-served. Doors are at 8PM.
MVC3 Fight Club Los Angeles
Where: Club 740, Downtown LA (click for map)
When: Thurs, Feb 3 (8PM - 11PM)
By: goukijones Feb 2, 2011 | 10 Comments
Mad Catz has just announced that Marvel VS Capcom 3 FightSticks are now available for pre-order.
Announced just a short while ago via being twatted by @MadCatzinc. The Marvel VS Capcom 3 FightStick are official available for pre-order.
- Authentic Japanese-style Sanwa Denshi™ joystick & buttons
- 8-button layout with additional multi-speed Turbo functionality
- Premium-quality components with genuine arcade layout
- Controller lock/unlock switch prevents accidental button presses
- 13ft (4m) USB cable with internal cable storage
- Connects to console via lag-free USB
- Storage compartment for efficient cable management
- 3-way switch enables joystick to function as left or right analog stick or D-Pad
- Integrated headset port for use with Xbox LIVE®
- Officially licensed by Marvel and Capcom
Pre-order now Direct from GameShark Store, the official Mad Catz retailer.Read full story...
By: goukijones Feb 17, 2011 | 8 Comments
Finally we're gonna get an open world Cops and Robbers ... Don't be a Jimmy. I hope you still have a copy of Need for Speed Hot Pursuit.
Need for Speed Hot Pursuit is a 2010 Jimmy Gem winner for having one of the most innovative things in gaming. The Autolog. If you missed out on this experience, that's just too bad Jimmy. Playing NFSHP online with friends is one of the closest experiences I've had to Mario Kart 64 rail fests.
I absolutely love NFSHP ever since the demo dropped. When the game actually released, I put a lot of hours into it. Legit hours too, nothing that has to do with modding like ThaBrad or Erik Estrada ... Mods heard. I only wanted to change a few games with the online world. For one I wanted an open world car chase bad. Super cops and robbers and I can run in any direction possible. Well it seems with this new DLC, my dreams have come true.
Also new in this DLC is racing with weapons. Vintage Mario Kart. A couple of new cars packs. All of these DLC's are priced at for $6.99 (560 Microsoft Points) which is tangible, but couldn't EA just have rolled out a package or something at a discount. Oh wait, it's EA. We're lucky we don't have to pay every time we put the game into our systems. Fuckin' Jimmys.
Check out this video from the NeedforSpeed YouTube Channel.
From YouTube: THREE new pieces of DLC are coming to Need For Speed Hot Pursuit! Get Armed & Dangerous on Feb 22nd, Lamborghini Untamed on March 1st, and Porsche Unleashed on march 8th. Visit http://hotpursuit.needforspeed.com/ for all of the details.
Need a copy of Need for Speed Hot Pursuit?
By: goukijones Dec 23, 2010 | 8 Comments
This is a pretty serious live action video of some COD gameplay style. The video is high quality and pretty well thought out. I think you'll agree with me, these Jimmys did a pretty cool job.
Read full story...
Quick there's a scruffy white dude looking at the xbox controller, send out the cute little Asian girl. Heard. goukijones literally gets a hand all over experience with the new Razer Onza controller for Xbox 360.
Seriously, everything was completely professional. I did not care for this controller at all. I don't like cords and it comes with a 15 foot cord. sad face. There is no confirmed wireless version. The two extra shoulder buttons are programable and that is a cool idea. But they are too close togther. Maybe that would take some getting used to. I was also not impressed with the d-pad. Microsoft just created the twisty d-pad, which is great. The Razer Onza has another flat surface for the d-pad. Jimmy don't like that. The highlight of the controller is the adjustable thumbsticks. I really think that will make a huge differnce in any FPS experience. Hey yo, send me a wired one for free and then maybe I'll consider buying a wireless one.
By: goukijones Jan 18, 2011 | 12 Comments
Square Enix is still in business, regardless of the bankruptcy talk and a 13 billion dollar over estimate on their earnings. Final Fantasy Versus XIII and XIII-2 coming soon. Official announcements and random YouTube videos, but no official release dates.
Gameplay videos and a press conference semi-confirm that Square Enix is still hard at work on trying to maintain the honor of the Final Fantasy franchise. The story originated from the Sony Blog. The official Square Enix American website has no official press release. The American FF13-2 site says "Coming Next Winter." Then there is the preview on YouTube, posted by some random Jimmy who just opened an account TODAY. This is all coming after a press event early this morning in Japan with Square Enix.
Until there is an OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE, I don't think there's anything to be excited about. Perhaps Square Enix should focus on fixing their broken games and getting the games currently on the slate, released. Like Deus EX Human Revolution, does anyone think this game is going to make it's next release date? My money is on the NO. Mindjack just came out today, you still don't even know what this is, do you? Final Fantasy XIV on the PS3? lol.
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Roman numerals get numbered sequels. I love the Japanese. There is no information about the Final Fantasy XIII-2. Unless you count this as news "FINAL FANTASY XIII-2, is coming next winter. We have a new story in store that stems from the previous title, a battle system that is evolved from “XIII”" Coming next winter? That's great, let me go add that to the catalog right now. New battle system and story? That's what you[Square Enix] announced last January, when they first started to talk about FF13-2. Final Fantasy XIII-2 will not be playable at E3, I'll be surprised if anything other than a trailer is shown. Speaking of video, below is the video posted on YouTube by the random Jimmy. It's not gonna be up there forever.
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