By: goukijones Apr 9, 2012 | 3 Comments
Why does Square send me video in a language I don't understand. About a game I don't understand in English. Classic Jobs return in Final Fantasy XIV.
This first video, I have no idea what is going on. It looks like a raid, but it would have been spectacular if this was an American team or at least a team that was playing in English. I can't tell what is happening. FFXIV still looks good. That's probably all it is still. Good looks.
Classic Final Fantasy jobs are being added to FFXIV. This shouldn't surprise anybody. When the game was released jobs were Thaumaturge, Marauder and Pugilist. I've never heard of anything like this. Well maybe I could imagine what a Marauder does. Now they have added Black Mage, White Mage, Warrior, Bard etc.
Is this game still doomed to fail? FF14 is in its second year now. I believe they are charging the Jimmys for it now too. Are you playing FF14? What do you Jimmys think about the MMO market? Has it died out completely? Jimmys are too busy playing League of Legends and Starcraft on the PC now. Diablo III May 15th 2012. Don't be a Jimmy! Vote, Comment & Share!
By: goukijones Dec 13, 2010 | 13 Comments
2010 Jimmy Gem nominees for most disappointing game. Please comment.
I just received an email from Square Enix this week apologizing for how much FF14 sucks and that the entire staff has been fired and they are starting over. I hated everything about this. Square Enix took out my favorite parts of Final Fantasy 11 and improved nothing in 14. Highly Disappointed.
This was the biggest cut and paste debacle in video game history. It took 3 years for this game to come out and had less content than the original. But it did have Zombies. Nubfarm.
Played this one night. Terrible.
Same levels over and over and you couldn't progress until you scored enough points in one level, which means you have to play the same level over and over.
Mech game with foot Missions. Review.
This is not Samus. You realize we're talking about the female Boba Fett here right? Not some whining bitch who is going to listen to some random nuab lost on some random planet. "What do you mean I can't use my missiles? The button is just on the other side of that door. I, finna blow the shit outta this place."
You could have put some modern game enhancements in this. Played it once. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Beat this in 1 sitting. Abosultely terrible. Review.
Winners will be announced December 29th. Did we leave anything out? What's your favorite? Leave a comment below!
By: goukijones Oct 10, 2010 | 4 Comments | Updated: Apr 13, 2016
Is this game a waste of life more than any other game I've ever played. I think so. Plus Kevin VanOrd from Gamespot reads my mind. *UPDATED - Editor fucked up.
**UPDATED October 11, 2010**
I fucked up. Credit should go to Gametrailers.com for such an awesome review as well.
Here's what happened: BatRastered originally played the Gametrailers.com review for me while I listened from my computer. I ran over to watch every few seconds, but didn't pay close attention to the visuals. The other night when I wrote this story (possibly after a few drinks) I searched for Final Fantasy XIV review on youtube and came across the Kevin VanOrd video, I played the video in the background mostly just listening and Kevin pretty much says the same stuff. That's why I thought it was the same video.(And I had a few more at this point) I couldn't agree with both video anymore. Like I say below, if I wrote a review now it would be verbatim to these two videos. So check out the Gametrailers.com video review, the original PWN review of Final Fantasy XIV.
Read full story...
This video is not in English. Does it really matter? There should be plenty of material here to get you started. KAWAII!!!
By: goukijones Sep 20, 2010 | 4 Comments
Civilization V lowest price online. Get FF14 delivered 9/22/2010 for only $0.99. Overpriced PS3 Move bundles and a ridiculous Epic Mickey Collector's Edition. Halo Reach for $54 bucks? PS3 Amazon Gold Box 9/21/2010.
This week on Deals Jimmy!Read full story...
I’m looking for some serious people to get down and destroy this Final Fantasy XIV. Team up with the Gouki Guild.
Gouki Guild in Final Fantasy XIV. Number 1 in the Eorzea!
I haven’t decided what town and or Job or craft I will do just yet. I will tell you I will not start in the castle town of Ul’dah. That is nubfarm. So lets talk about Gridania, it’s in the woods. The Bontanist, carpenters, and archer’s guild are all in Gridinia. Also the lancer's and Conjurrer's guilds as well. Those are all classes I’ve considered really focusing on. Bontanist for sure. I will be doing bontany, for a few reasons. One, it gets you out of the town. Chopping down trees and hacking away at flowers and other foliage.
I don’t think it will matter about which city we start in. The other option is Limsa Lominsa. My only issue is with this place is that it’s an island. That probably won’t make a difference once we unlock all of the travel routes. I like the water town because it’s open, blue and green. Gridania is just dark green and seems like it’s in the shade everywhere.
As a guild we will focus on working together throughout the world. Choose any class or profession you like. It’s more important to have fun than anything else. We’ll combine whatever we choose and work from there. I’m sure there will be plenty of things we will be able to take advantage of early one. Especially with my experience with the beta at this point. I got one Jimmy maxed out for the beta. Tons of items, maxed gear and a ton of money. What I need is some partners in crime and to take our Jimmys out and level them up.
So if you want to join the Gouki Guild sign up for Gouki.com and leave a comment on this story. On September 22, 2010 when Final Fantasy XIV is released we’ll meet and figure out what planet we’re gonna be on and go from there. Don’t be a Jimmy!
By: goukijones Sep 5, 2010 | 6 Comments
Tonight Gouki.com editor GoukiJones was supposed to be pwnn some Final Fantasy XIV. Not writing a story about how Square Enix doesn't even have the right time of day on their news page.
Have few drinks, play a few games of Halo Wars and jump on the Final Fantasy for a few hours. Until your knees are so sore that you pass out from the pain six or seven hours later. That was the plan tonight. Just like the last three nights. But here I am writing this story because I don't know what the hell is going on with the FF14 right now.
Some of the Square Enix forums that are managed by users and you have to be logged in and accepted in that group to even read. Are saying things like you have to download files off of another website. Red and blue and bittorrents and megauplaod. WTF is this? Why doesn't Square Enix have a fix for us. That's when I came across this piece of news from their website.
The Square Enix official news site about the FF14 reads the wrong day. It's only September 5, 2010.
So apparently the servers are down now for emergency maintenance. This has also been going on since early AM. Allegedly.
Don't download no blue or red files off of megaupload. Wtf is a blue and red file?
My big issue here is the Square Enix website. Can we get the date and time right? This is exactly what I was talking about in my other story about the beta. The Square Enix website is BASS ACWARDS. They have the date of Japan and the hours of the Westcoast United States. I don't actually know when any of that news is posted or when the updates are going to take place. It's impossible to get any serious or real help and I'm going to be paying for a monthly service?
Also I go to the Beta site and log in. It redirects me to the regular Square Enix page with your profile and all that stuff. From there I don't know where to go. I close the page and click the direct link back to the beta site and boom redirected the regular page. Am I nubfarm? Is anybody else completely annoyed by this? Please tell that this game hasn't been rushed out before Blizzard can announce the next WOW at Blizzcon. That would be ridiculous.
Fuck it. Now what? All units?
By: goukijones Sep 5, 2010 | 3 Comments
Two full days of experience and ranking up. Also, tons of walking around aimlessly. What have I learned from the beta so far?
Sqaure-Enix launched the Final Fantasy XIV beta early this week and it was a pain in the ass to get in. Apparently, from my understanding, Square-Enix opened up the beta with like 10 different servers. Those servers filled up faster than FNJimmy trying to solve any random puzzle in Darksiders. I had no chance that first day. I didn’t even really understand how and what was happening with trying get into the beta. I think the problem here is that the Square-Enix website is all done in Japanese and then translated straight over into English. The site is crazy backwards sometimes. Also I feel like I’m logging in a 100 times. Two days later, I did get a code and I was in.
With the beta you can create and play with as many different characters as you want. Actually I don’t know if that’s true, what I do know is that I have made 4 different characters. The first character I made was how I imagined I wanted him before I got the chance to play. I chose Disciple of the hand, Alchemist. I had no idea that with this selection I would have no weapon and my main attack would be “throw stone.” Thank god this is a trial run. At this point I tried to learn about the settings, moving around with a keyboard and getting familiar with the controls. I did a few quests, the levequest stuff is cool. So after playing for sometime and only doing 1 hit point of damage, I knew something was wrong and started my second character.
Disciple of war, Archer. Now I’m railin’ right out of the box. Gone are the days of gathering stones to throw at Nutbiters and here we go with 40+ hit point, crushing arrow blows to your dome. So now I got some combat under my belt for reals this time. I realize I just needed a little money and I could go buy any weapon I want. Once I buy a new weapon I can change my class. Buy a polearm, become a lancer. Buy a sword, become a gladiator. This also works with the crafting. Buy a sledgehammer, become a goldsmith. So yeah, you can start the game as any class you want. Now I can get my alchemist and get him a wand so he can start casting some magic.
Before I switch back to my original character I created. I made another character and started him in a different city. I chose for this Jimmy to be a Thaumaturge. Yea, I know the names of the classes are a little ridiculous in FF14. Thaumaturge means black mage in normal talk. I also picked a human male this time. Previously I had chosen the little Lalafell Jimmy and an Elf. My human mage started with high and equal HP/MP. Cool. He also dealt major solo damage. I didn’t want to play has a mage in this game, but I may level it secondary.
So now I think I understand the leveling, the controls and the questing. I start a third character, with a class I wouldn’t usually choose and in the third and final city. Disciple of war, Lancer. This city Ul’dah, is a city of bricks. One of the regrets I had in Final Fantasy XI was I chose the “castle city” in that game and I felt like I was in prison. So I don’t like Ul’dah in Final Fantasy XIV and I won’t choose this city. That’s official. I took my lancer out and killed a few things, got some gil. Final Fantasy money for you nuabs. Went back to town and bought myself a pick axe. Time to learn about mining. Got a levequest and took off out the front door. It took me a while to find the mining spots. Eventually I and it was there I discovered the mining mini-game. I couldn’t find any technique to swinging the pick axe other than to just keep whacking away at at the stone. I’m sure there is some trick to it.
Back to my original character. I got tons of money from stumbling around town doing quests. Got some money from being in parties earlier throwing rocks at Star Marmots out in the wild. Searched the town high and low looking for the Jimmy who had the magic wands for sale. Bought a bow and some arrows too. I already have my alchemy tools. Which I couldn’t figure out how to do shit for crafting. Fuck it. Lets kill something. Used the bow and arrows, killed a bunch of wild beasts(actually cute little furry things.) Leveled my Archer to rank 5 in no time. Now I’m starting to feel the leveling addiction. Wait what this? I just switch my bow and arrow to my magic wand and now I’m a Thaumaturge. WOW! Now I’m hurling magic balls across the grassy knolls. We are rollin’. By the way in FF14 the mages can throw magic “balls.” It’s a regular attack and uses NO mp. Cool stuff. Leveled my Thaumaturge to level 4.
The time has come for me to log back in. What will I do next? Trial and errors continues. Get ready for the Final Fantasy XIV release. Play it early if you get the Collector’s Edition. Don’t be a Jimmy. Join the Gouki Guild.
Finally got a beta code and got onto a server today before they all filled up. Apparently I chose the wrong job class. Good thing this is a beta TEST. Jimmy!
I played the Final Fantasy XIV beta today for 3-4 hours. So there definitely isn't a time like of an hour or two like I had read earlier this week. Unfortunately, I may have started off with the wrong job class. I choose to be an alchemist. That sounds cool right. I figured I can just get a sword or a bow and go out to fight things. I'll just weak in those areas of fighting since my main skill was alchemy. Well, my only offensive weapon I has was "throw stone."
So the plan now is to try again, this time specifically choosing disciple of war and picking an archer. I don't want to do magic right away. I really enjoy crafting, that why I choose alchemy first. That and I figured potions would be good turn over for making money. The leve system is no big deal at all, I was partied with Estrada and were doing all of his leve. Again my only issue is that I did 1 damage and would get railed by the fungi.
Final Fantasy XIV DOES run on my pc. I turned the shadows off and a few other things to see what the effects are. Didn't seem to make much of a difference. My fan was maxed out and the screen seemed to be dropping frame rates. Oh and I couldn't figure out how to play full screen.
I can tell though, even screwing up and not really doing anything for the last couple of hours in Final Fantasy XIV, I will be addicted. Without a doubt.
Gouki Guild beta
Gradania City. *Will change with second character tomorrow.
I have submitted my application. Hurry and submit yours now. Gouki Guild team up on the same planet.
**UPDATED 9/3 1:13 pm
I have logged in and created my first character. I have not chosen a planet later. That's going to happen tonight, when I actually sit down to play.
I chose Disciple of the Hand, and I'm an alchemist. So don't pick the same exact shit if you plan to be in the Gouki Guild. Leave a message on this story and make sure your email updates are turned ON in your profile. Stay tuned Jimmy!Read full story...
By: goukijones Aug 27, 2010 | 9 Comments
Join Gouki.com and the quest to destroy Final Fantasy XIV online. Watch the new prerelease trailer, like drinking a Adrenochrome straight. A sleeper Making of vids shows...
Gouki Guild sign up Jimmy!Read full story...
By: goukijones Aug 24, 2010 | 2 Comments
Kmart has the Deal of the week again when you purchase Red Dead Redemption or Mafia II ... there's a catch though.
Deal of the Week
Red Dead Redemption with a $20 coupon at Kmart. Red Dead is going to be the game of the year. Unless you are a Jimmy and would rather play a Ninja Gaiden from 2 years ago.
Mafia II with a $20 coupon at Kmart. While you're picking up Red Dead, might as well get Mafia II too. The next game you buy at Kmart will be like $22 with tax. Stolen! All my receipts from Kmart are less than retail. I have two that are less than $25. I am saving money there.
Want to shop online?
You can save the same amount of money if you shop for games online. Amazon does free shipping which is a bonus, if you don't like to leave the house like me. I'm pwnn all day everyday, I ain't got time to drive a million miles to the store. Amazon also offers release day shipping, which works very well. I have never missed a release day shipping delivery. It's only one dollar more than the regular shipping, usually.
Red Dead Redemption as low as $44.99. Always get free shipping. So for an extra $5 here, you don't have to leave the house. Wink face.
Starcraft II PRICE CUT!! If you want to play this and don't have it yet, you are a Jimmy.Read full story...
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