Bulletstorm promotional videos are really going after my heart

By goukijones — January 12, 2011
Tags: blithering-blathering blog bulletstorm halo-3 news preview video

Bulletstorm is really looking like hot shit. And I'm not just saying that because you can shoot a guys asshole out. Epic has had dudes in the shower, Cliffy B drunk under his desk and has even gone as far as copying the Halo 3 Believe diorama ad.

If you Jimmys don't know about the Bulletstorm yet then I ask you: What the hell is wrong with you dick tits?! Quick history check with the shooter genre and myself. I'm a Halo guy, before that I was a 007/Perfect Dark (N64 version) guy. I've played Call of Duty and I don't like them, any of them. Well 3 was okay, but a lot of Jimmys don't like that. Modern Warfare was also cool and I played that for a bit. Then there's the third shooter in the big 3, as I like to call them. Gears of War. I've played through both Gears 1 & 2 campaigns. 1 was great and had some "Epic" battles. 2 had it's moments, but a lot was missing. Gears of War 2 had me inside 2, yes 2 giant worms. I didn't play much of the Gears multiplayer in either game.

So why am I so hyped up for Bulletstorm? Halo Reach is there, but I don't want to play it. Borderlands is just too old now. I don't play COD as I said and who the hell is still playing Gears 2? Not that I would. Bulletstorm is on track to probably be the most vulgar game I have ever seen. Remember that hot Tanya Jessen Bulletstorm Dev Diary video? Yeah, NSFW. So hopefully you have been following my coverage of this game because there have been some sweet videos already made. What we have below are some of the newer gold I have seen. The first video is for FNJimmy:

Bulletpoints #1 with Mike Capps

Bulletpoints #2 with Cliffy B

In this video Cliffy B talks about blowing out a mans asshole. Priceless.

Bulletpoints #3 Dick tits of the week

So finally one of those "you had me at hello" type moments. Remember that old Halo 3 Believe ad that had the camera flying through a bunch little statues. It looked really good and at the end Master Chief was finished getting railed by a huge Brute. But the the grande lights up and there's a sparkle in his eye.

Halo 3 - Believe TV Spot

Okay now here is the Epic Games/Bulletstorm version.

Bulletstorm - Last Call

So if you don't believe that Bulletstorm is going to have a good sense of humor and be fun to play at this point, well then I have lost you. Bulletstorm is coming on Feb. 22 2011 and includes access to the Gears of War 3 beta for you super Jimmys. There's riduclously creative weapons to use in Bulletstorm. There's hundreds of ways to kill. Huge vast open levels and tight close quarters combat. I've also heard interesting things about the "horde mode" in Bulletstorm. So I'm very interested in seeing how that plays out. Because it doesn't look like there is going to be any multiplayer. Yes that is the same Jimmy that voiced Wolverine in the Hulk VS movies, his name is Steven Blum. Actually I don't know why I just typed that and linked to wikipedia. Because it's official bitch!

So do I have you on the Bulletstorm Epic Edition pre-order band wagon yet? $0.99 release day shipping! You don't even have to leave the house Jimmy. Includes Gears of War 3 beta!! ZOMG!! Ok, ok, I know that's all bullshit, it's all about the game right. This is the last video, look at the graphics, try to grab a hold of the many options Cliffy B gives you to raip these Jimmys in Bulletstorm and tell me that it does not look like a lot of fun. Dick tits out!